I've lost weight before, and now I just cannot motivate myself again.

[ShotsFired]

Several years ago I lost a lot of weight - a good quarter of myself. I am starting from a morbidly obese position, btw.

However it wasn't actually that noticeable. I didn't need to buy (m)any new clothes and I was still quite the heifer - well above the ideal weight for my height. And it all went back on again; and then I met OH who inexplicably found me attractive anyway.

And after some years of coupledom, I am even further past my starting weight now. But I just don't have the motivation I had first time round.

When I did it then it was just me and I was a total food nazi who basically ate the same meal every single day and exercised 5 days a week. But having never had my proud Barry Bethell moment of holding out tent trousers, I just can't see the point.

I'm intelligent, I know all the various health issues and I have a foot problem which I think is made far worse by my weight - but having lost so much before to no real effect, it doesn't motivate me.

OH seems to adore me and does not mind my fat bits (he is pretty slim himself), but I beyond loathe looking at myself in a mirror.

I feel paralysed by it sometimes. Am I alone? How do I move past this? Losing a stone is not even going to touch the sides, so the challenge seems insurmountable.

I do understand how you feel. I'm doing ok at the moment (down from 18 1/2 to just under 13) and am the least I have been for at least 20 years, but I have lost less before and put it and more back on and know that I could easily end up back there. So very easily. The only advice I can give is to just start. Even if you aren't feeling it. I tell myself that every step, every swim, every day not eating what I want is destroying a little bit of fat, and getting me a little bit closer to where I want to be. Some days I feel good, some days I wonder why I am bothering. Today it's the latter. You CAN do this. Grit your teeth, head down, and adapt and overcome. For all the shitty days you might encounter, you will still be glad you did.

You need to break it down into small steps. Ok, a stone might not 'touch the sides' but it's a step in the right direction.

Your previous diet sounds super strict, and going super strict will get you quick results, but you need to think about choosing a plan that is sustainable basically forever. You will lose the weight you want to lose and keep it off that way.

Personally, I've joined Slimming world, and it's worked for me. I've lost 2st 10lb since October, it works out at about 1lb a week. It's not the fastest route. But for me it's sustainable, I can see myself eating healthily with a few treats and flexibility to have meals out etc when I want to. I'm hoping to lose round another stone, then maintain.

There are lots of people on here who are doing different plans, and it does seem like different things work for different people.

Good luck, hope you find a plan you think will suit you.

I could have written your post just a couple of months ago.

I have been overweight all my life but several years ago I lost lots through diet and a shitload of exercise. Then i got pregnant and managed not to gain too much...but the year on maternity leave saw me pile it all back on again. I realise now that I had postnatal depression but didn't see it at the time.

Anyway, that baby will be 5 soon and the weight needs to go again...for good this time. I've been half-arsing it since January and lost a bit then stalled but I've found my mojo again and am back on it.

I know what you mean when you say a stone won't even touch the sides. I need to lose 10 at least But the only way it's going to go is a pound at a time so that's what I'm focussing on. It's going to be a long haul but I want to be around for my daughter for a long time to come and I'm risking my health at this size.

Check out Richie Howey on Facebook. He advocates a very common sense approach to diet and fitness where no food is off limits. I'm nearly 2 stone down from my starting weight and am finding it easy going at the minute. I haven't binged in weeks which is something I haven't managed in years and the feeling of being in control of my eating again is motivating me to carry on.

Good luck, OP.

Should add...don't check out Richie Howey if you are at all offended by bad language as he's rather ...erm... straight talking

Thank you all as probably shouldn't offer

I think I had been bottling that up inside for a while as I feel better for having told someone - even complete strangers!

I commented on that thread about the knowitall poster who can't understand why her fatty friends don't prostrate themselves at her skinny feet for her wisdom and it (my comment about it being embarrassing) that also gave me a bit of "woah!" moment.

Yes my previous diet was super strict but it worked for me. Deviation led to temptation led to eating a whole loaf of freshly baked tiger bread with salted butter...you know how that goes...

I have before my an old exercise plan that I did well on, so I am going to revisit that. I know its 90% diet but for me, the (psychological) route in for me seems to start with being more active so I feel like I am doing something to chip away at the issue, rather than nothing.

I had a lightbulb moment when I did it last time, but as mentioned in in OP, I never got the big reveal wow moment despite losing upwards of 5 stones (I shit you not - same clothes, slimmer face but not much else different), so that has really dented my will to bother again.

Ideally I should lose 10 stone also, but I have not been that weight since young teenage days when I was slim and active. I'd be happy with 5!