don't know what to do...

[GreenGoth89]

I saw a photo of myself today taken last week and I burst into tears - although I'm not at my heaviest I'm nearly 4 stone overweight and I feel awful about how I look. I'm also disabled. I have several conditions which make doing exercise (even in water) quite difficult - I pull muscles, dislocate joints and have muscles go into very painful spasms. I also can't do very much cooking at home - I get very tired and I also end up choking fingers or accidentally burning myself. My partner hated me doing paleo so I quit and but nearly a stone back in 4 months. He also hates most of the slimming world food as he sees it as bland. I can't do things like slimfast, it just made me feel sick. But I don't know what else to do? I can't live off weightwatchers ready meals as we really don't have the money, but I'm running out of ideas! I can't bare to carry on seeing someone I don't recognise in the mirror everyday!

Well, I think the good news is that diet is a more successful way of losing weight than via exercise. It seems that you liked slimming world, so can you join a club? Or is the online version cheaper?

Or use MFP and slimming world magazine for inspiration?

Oh dear. Firstly you need to talk to your partner, tell him that you are very unhappy and that you need to start eating more healthily and that he needs to support you. Don't diet, eat lean meat/fish, lots of fresh veg, some fruit and greek yoghurt, wholegrains. Cut way back on the sugar and processed foods - if he wants to eat a a bar of chocolate, fine, you don't have to. Watch your portion sizes. He can have bigger. If he wants takeaway, fine, you don't have to. Get on My Fitness Pal. Are you able to do yoga?

Weight Watchers. It's just the normal food you like to eat but will help you to get your portions under control.

I would say mfp and calorie counting with an aim to follow the eatwell plate. Then it is just normal food but portion controlled.
It must be very hard having to rely on someone else doing the bulk of the cooking.

Agree that you should speak to your partner. If the weight is really getting you down, he should be supportive of you in doing something to make you feel better and healthier.

If he is doing most of the cooking, it is fairly easy to cook things that are suitable for both of you. DP lost a lot of weight very quickly doing low carb, I was a bit slower and still have more to go. We cook things now that suit both of us - mine is low carb and his with carbs. So things like curry (he has rice, I don't or just have cauli rice), same with chilli, spag bol, casseroles, fajitas (I have a fajita salad instead). But this will be very very difficult if he is not supportive.

I have lost nearly 10kg with a combination of low carbing and calorie counting. I find that to stick to my calories, I inadvertently low carb but can still have chocolate, sweets, crisps, pizza, McDonalds etc as long as it fits within my calories for the day/week.

I'm disabled and can't cook for myself. I've lost 4.25 stone this year by calorie counting, no exercise.

My partner won't eat tomatoes, eggs, fish, sausages, bacon, beans, mushrooms, or whole meal anything! It feels like a minefield!

What's MFP?

it's myfitnesspal, it's an app (and you can access it from your internet browser too) you can use to track calories etc.

here

Your partner doesn't have to. This is your food we're talking about.

Yes but he often doesn't have the energy to cook 3 separate meals on top of everything else he has to do. So either I find something he'll eat or I have to eat what he's eating. I've been told that I can get referred to slimming world via my GP so it might be worth a try.

Well, he could cook 3 different meals (you, him and DC?) but I think there are other possibilities, don't you?

For example, you eat smaller portions than he does and/or he cooks more healthily (e.g. without oil) and/or he cooks something extra you don't have.

Can you give us some examples of food your partner cooks up and maybe we can give you some simple modifications?

For example my mum made a spaghetti bol the other day there.

I ate-
Massive green salad with avocado, opined nuts and a lemon and olive oil dressing. A small handful of pasta with a big dollop of the sauce, some Parmesan on top.
My DH had a big bowl of pasta and sauce and no salad.

Could you try something like that where you decrease the carbs and up the protein and veg?

You have the slimming world recipes he finds bland, but he adds tabasco or cheese to his plate..?

Basically, I'm saying he should support you, but if he doesn't you can't let that be your excuse to stay unhappy.

My fitness pal is excellent but not sure how well it will work if your dp is cooking as really you need to have an idea how much the ingredients weigh, unless he is happy to do that for you? I cook for my dp - he was on a diet for a while and lost lots of weight (and has kept it off), I tried to be supportive and even though it was a bit tedious I did MFP for both of us when necc. I dont always want to buy stuff my dp wants to eat if its expensive but I have to weigh up and balance out family needs with respecting his choices as it is harder for him to buy food and prepare meals, log on MFP etc (he is blind). It's a bit of a balance.

Agree with other posters that lower carb is the easiest modification and I think a plan is to keep the paleo food in mind - that stuff works for you, so fill your plate mainly with meat and veg etc - paleo compliant, and keep the carb portions as small as poss - a couple of tablespoons. You could aim for the 80:20 paleo approach but on a day to day or meal to meal basis. Also look for easy options, stock up on bagged babyleafs that you can just add to your plate without any prep and then smaller portions of your dps food. Buy bagged natural nuts to snack on. Natural yog with berries and nuts might be an easy enough breakfast, parma ham and pre cooked chicken is another good thing to have in the fridge, tins of mackerel, soup or whatever in the cupboard for if you need to eat differently some nights - again you or your dp could put this on a plate with some prepared raw veg or leaves without it being too much of a chore?

I've looked and I'm really not sure we could afford £20 a month. I've asked the GP to refer me to a scheme that offers 12 weeks of slimming world but nothing after that - don't know how I could carry it on after that - they may have just stopped funding it as well. MFP really isn't going to work - he can't be arsed to do proper stuff most of the time let alone weigh stuff out! Struggling to find a way forward

I'm gluten free and so is dh.
That cuts out a lot of carbs.
Just tucking into a two egg onion omelette cooked in coconut oil. That will keep me going till lunch at 2

That will be meat and veg
I've had a tooth out. A back molar so can't eat on right side. It took ages to eat my dinner of duck, buckwheat and peas. I actually left some buckwheat as after half an hour of chewing away I'd had enough and my plate wasn't laden to start with
Buckwheat is not wheat btw it's a protein.

We had an interesting lunch yesterday, two slices of fried halloumi on two small slices of fried polenta as dh fancied cheese on toast.

Cheese on toast it wasn't lol but it was nice.

I liked sw. I did it about 20 years ago and lost two and a half stone and have kept most of it off.

I did it when it was the old red and green days. So as much fruit, veg and meat as you like and two portions of carb a day. I ate bread then so it was two slices of whole meal bread a day. I think you could have half pint of milk a day. I used it as cheese as I drink herb teas.
I couldn't be arsed with sugar free jellies and fat free anything muck .
I saved my treats ( syns ?) for a bit of dark chocolate.

I lost every week. I wasn't going to pay for ever.

Found it really easy

Really impressed with dh going gluten free. He loves his bread.

If your husband won't support you with MFP there must be other options on the table. What's still on your list?

Slimming world and weight watchers for 12 weeks, but that's all I've got!

I'm not sure if you mean to do both? Do you mean that you can get six weeks free on Weight Watchers and six weeks free on Slimming World?

If so, I wonder what it would be like doing two different approaches one after the other?

Also, attending the classes is just one hour a week (is it?). What will the requirements be through the rest of the week? How does that fit in with your husband doing the shopping and meal preparation?

Final question(!) what other options are on your list?

Or not and - right now I do t think it will fit in well at all as he seems to think potatoes are a super food, but I've got to try. I don't have any more options, and I'm just feeling like I'm not going to be able to do anything

Somebody once told me that when you think you've only got two options you're probably wrong. And I think she was right, I only think I've got two options when I'm at a low ebb and out of energy and hope.

One thought that occurred to me for you getting started is that you continue just as you are, only you eat half of what you'd normally eat.

I think you basically have to make the changes YOU can make as mentioned above halving your portion and possible saving it for next days lunch, you could even point out it will save on meal prep for your husband. In addition are you eating snacks biscuits whatever in between your meals as that is within your control?

Good luck though, hope there is a tip that can work.

We're doing small portions and I often don't eat lunch or skip breakfast and I rarely snack.

But OP after the 12 weeks free you still have all the books etc so you can carry on with the eating plan. The only difference is you won't have a weekly weigh in at the meeting.