Lisalisa, I can empathise, I don't really know why but I don't have a very good relationship with food myself. With the help and support of all at MN Mamas I have been able to lose almost two stone and can now get into some size 12s (probably more generous ones though). After I had my first son my weight climbed to 13st 9lbs (I think), lost around 2 stone, then after my second 13st 4lbs. This wouldn't be so bad but I found b/feeding really kept my weight under control so we are talking mostly weight put on after finishing b/feeding. I can remember days of eating mountains of buttered toast and sugary tea reading threads on Mumsnet, my regular evening snack had become 200g bars of dairy milk and/or Pringles, if it was a Friday night this would be washed down with a half to a whole bottle of red wine. Don't really know what to say to encourage you but I came to snaping point, decided that I had got myself into that state, it was my duty to get myself out and in five months I am back within my healthy weight range and people are telling me how well I look etc.
What I really want to say is you can do it and if we can help at MN Mamas mail me on mn.bigmamas(at)virgin(dot)net with your starting weight, target (if any) and we can chart your weight on the spreadsheet and announce your loss every Friday night. As a group we aim to encourage and motivate. If you think this could help please get in touch.