My weight and my job

[crikeyomikey]

Evening all.

I am a secondary school teacher. I've taught forever, so it's not like I'm new to the job, I'm good at what I do and I generally enjoy it and have good relationships with the kids. The thing is, I'm so incredibly fat now, after having gained a million stone (more or less!) during my three pregnancies, that I have genuinely worked myself up into a panic about going back next week. My weight affects my confidence, and I have to fight to stop this affecting my work. I keep thinking that I want a job where people don't laugh or comment on your weight so readily, even if they think it! And I want to feel confident to do my job despite my weight, because I think half the job is bluff and acting! I suppose I am asking for reassurance / advice on how to ignore any negative comments etc. Please don't tell me to just lose weight - I am trying my best!

I don't have any useful advice but I really sympathise with this - I have put on 3 stone due to a combination of menopause and thyroid problems and it has really sapped my confidence. When you teach you are on show and teenagers can be critical. I am trying to boost my confidence with good hair, nails and make up and by making sure my clothes fit properly.

I don't know about other jobs but in IT where I work it doesn't matter at all how you look. I am sure some office based jobs are less forgiving but people who are around technology ale very forgiving.

My experience is such that when I feel confident in myself my weight doesn't bother me. I worry that I should lose it for health reasons but not for how I look.

I remember being taught by a couple of members of staff who were objectively very overweight. I absolutely do not remember commenting on their weight to my friends - it is not the enduring impression those teachers made on me. One was so scary we wouldn't have dreamed of saying anything, the other was such a fabulous and funny teacher and we loved him. I really think you shouldn't worry what the pupils may or may not be thinking or saying. You say you're good at it and enjoy it - that's fantastic, please can you just focus on this and leave your weight out of it as it does not make you, you.

I don't care what weight someone is and I certainly wouldn't have cared what size any of my teachers were. After your first day back you'll feel so much better and people never notice it as much as yourself.

It doesn't matter - you're a teacher, so you're so uncool that they don't care about how you look...they'll comment on anything that might get a bit of a reaction.

That's a bit of a harsh way of putting it, but you know really that it doesn't matter whether you're overweight or underweight, have an amazing style or dress in something resembling a bin bag...concentrate on your confidence in your ability and I bet they say nothing, but make it obvious that you're not feeling so confident and they'll pick up on it.

Thank you for all your comments; it has helped.

tabulahrasa, that's a good point - there's always something. And I know that once I've survived day one back, I will indeed feel better. BUT (and it's a big but), I really reeaaallly want to be thinner next year!

crikey, if you are following your plans to lose weight and seeing success from week to week, that in itself could boost your confidence.
Just the knowing that you are taking the steps that you want to take, and feeling fitter because you are eating healthier food.
Wish you good luck.
But I also echo what PPs have said, about you being about more than just your weight.