I just calculated my BMI and I think I might cry.

[HappyGoLuckyGirl]

My BMI is 35.2. I'm severely obese. But I didn't think I was.

I have been struggling to get the weight back off for about 18 months. Christmas 2014 I was only 6kg from my target weight.

The calculator on the Atkins website has told me I need to lose 58lbs. 58, over 4 stone! I'm only 25. How did I let this happen?

I don't know what to do. Lately, thinking about food has become all consuming. I know I need to do something but I'm afraid of failing and becoming a horrible, fat mess and then being alone forever.

I have tried all sorts. VLC diets, 5:2, slimming world, just eating 'less', low carb. I fail everytime. The longest I've stuck to a diet is about 3 weeks, a few weeks ago. I've put the 10lb I lost back on.

I think the only reason I lost the weight in 2014 was because I broke up with my partner.

I feel like a horrible, greedy, ugly, failure. I don't see how I could ever climb the mountain in front of me.

I don't even know why I am posting here. Because I am too ashamed to talk to anyone in RL?

I just want to curl up in bed and cry. I don't know what to do.

How is it going today OP? Have you decided how you're planning on losing the weight?

I'm finding this virtual gastric band app really rather good so far. I'm eating mindfully and stopping when I'm full which is a massive shift for me. Since I started on Monday I've not eaten any chocolate (I would normally have eaten at least a bar a day). We've had takeaway pizza for dinner last night and where I would normally have eaten a full pizza to myself I are less than half then stopped, had some more for lunch today but there are still 3 slices left! We had chicken curry tonight and I put a smaller portion than normal on my plate and still didn't finish it, unheard of for me, even when doing SW I would have eaten the whole lot(it's actually a SW recipe because it's my favourite and is free on SW).

I'm on holiday from work atm though, so I don't know how I'll do when I go back in September. I'm an emotional eater and reach for chocolate when I'm stressed, and the car on my commute is a real problem time where I eat far too much chocolate.