We go on holiday on Friday. I'm the fattest I've ever been. I'm borderline thyroid and my two attempts at dieting this year have achieved nothing. Right now I'm not in the right headspace to really commit.
I want to enjoy the pool and the seaside and the sunshine and have fun with my kids but my body disgusts me. I will really struggle to get into a costume and be outside in it.
At the weekend I was watching much bigger women than me at the beach in their bikinis, or women similar to my shape playing in the sea with their kids. How do I get to be them?
I don't really care what other people think about how I look. I know no one will be paying any attention. The problem is how I feel about myself. How do I get over it so I can enjoy the break and spend time with the kids the way I'd like to? Thinking about it makes me cry.