To ask for help. I'm so overweight and I don't want to die

[Piratepete1]

I am massively overweight. BMI is about 42. I have been overweight for most of my life but have got much bigger after 2 babies, trouble conceiving, depressions etc.

Once again I have failed to make changes. This week I managed 1 gym visit and 3 days of healthy eating. Binged tonight on take away and huge amounts of chocolate as DH was working late.

I thought I would be able to do it for my children as I don't want to die and leave them. I want to run in the parents race instead of sitting there like a blob and letting my little ones down.

But I just can't do it. I am addicted to sugar and sweet things. I am an emotional eater. I eat when happy and when sad. Binge eating is now so ingrained I don't think I can ever change. I tried the Why Weight programme during and after pregnancy but failed and gave up. Tried all the slimming groups. Think it's surgery next but again I'm scared of dying from it.

What on earth shall I do sad

One gym visit and three days of healthy eating are better than nothing. Look at it the other way. You've been to the gym and eaten well for three days.????What about joining Slimming World? You'd be accountable then. And you'd get support from other people.????It's a habit you are trying to break. If it was easy then nobody would be overweight. Look at how hard people find it to stop smoking.????Get rid of all the junk food in your house. Then it will be harder to eat it as you will gave to go out.

You've identified why you overeat and you just need to find a way to deal with this and replace eating with something else. Do you think counselling might help?

Remember that with weight loss, once the weight starts to come off, that will give you much more satisfaction than a takeaway and chocolate ever will.

There are lots of similar threads on here. You are certainly not alone.

Good luck

Hey pirate just wanted to say you're not alone, I understand how hard it is even when you have motivation it's not enough on a moment-to-moment basis. It's frightening to feel so out of control. I wish you all the best, right now I can't offer any advice but just a bit of solidarity.

Losing weight, especially when you have an emotional attachment to food, is the hardest freaking thing.

I managed to lose about 2 stone by using My Fitness Pal to record all the food I was eating each day. Once I got into the habit of recording what I ate, I then pulled the calories down to between 1200 and 1500 per day. This was not easy. For the first week or two I felt horribly hungry as I went to bed each night. I was tired and ratty and did not enjoy it one bit. I didn't massively up my exercise - I figure it's enough of a shock to the system when you cut down the food, that suddenly going to the gym 4 nights a week would probably kill me. I made sure I did a gentle walk each day (having a dog really helped) so I was getting active in some way. But for me it was really the food that started it.

You have to have a solid goal - I was working toward hitting a BMI of 30, as that was the upper limit for IVF, and that was my ultimate goal. You should start out aiming to get your BMI down to 40, and remind yourself that you're doing it for your kids, and for your health. When you get to 40 you can then decide where the next target is.

A month or two in you may find that cutting down food alone makes your weight sort of plateau - you'll go from losing a couple of pounds a week to not losing any. This is fine; that's the point in which you get to up the exercise; go to the gym a day or two each week. Don't cut your calories any lower than 1200 per week without doctor's supervision as that's a surefire way to make yourself ill rather than getting healthier.

The hardest thing is sticking to it, especially when you're feeling tired and low and just want to eat something. Give yourself an alternative distraction/someone to answer to. I used to sit in the evenings and make those horrid loom bands; just to keep my hands and mind occupied so I didn't just stroll through to the kitchen. Alternatively - if you feel like you want to snack or binge, try to train yourself to come on here first and to ask for a bit of support. You can do this, you just might need some encouragement every now and then.

Don't berate yourself for any falls from the wagon of low-calorie eating. If possible look into what caused you to need to eat more that day, and think on whether you can prevent that from happening again, or if not, think on what you could push yourself to do that isn't eating. Stock up on those oh so healthy snacks like carrot batons and celery, that might not satisfy in the way that takeaway and chocolate do, but that do fulfill the basic need to eat.

I'm a sugar addict too. I found once I'd done a day giving it up was a whole lot easier.

I managed 3 months of no sugar and got to the point quite quickly where it ceased to bother me.

After 3 months I succumbed and had some dark chocolate. Just two small pieces and that was fine.

I could go a couple of days and have a piece or not as I chose no problem and I got my weight down to 10 st 5 . Not sure what my starting weight was but I'm guessing 11 stones.

Then

We went for a family holiday to a hotel doing half board buffet breakfasts and evening meals. I started off ok but gradually went from one poached pear a night to one plus a baked apple. Then I added some creme caramel and so on. Oh yes, it's highly addictive stuff.

We got back yesterday. Yesterday we were travelling so no sugar then and I'm back sugar free today. I'm not getting weighed yet. A lot with me is stored water so I'll give it a couple of days.

We are going back next month so 10 st 5 or lighter would be good.

I have good motivation so I'm hoping it won't be too much trouble. Good luck OP just take one moment at a time . Set a goal for Christmas. One pound a week . That's nearly a stone.

On one of the 5:2 threads someone mentioned that cutting out sugar for two weeks resets your addiction and you no longer crave the stuff.
Even if you just cut it out for two weeks that's going to make a dent in your calorie intake and you will see a loss.

Do you think you could commit to that if its for two weeks only?

That one small change might make a huge difference.

Good luck