Saying NO to diets and YES to a healthy life!

[Bonnie152]

Hi everyone, where to start!

I've been overweight and constantly trying to lose it since I was about 13. I'm now 27 and sick and tired of the cycle. I've forgot what it's like to actually just eat normally, I'm either strictly on a diet or going mad and overrating. I'm the heaviest I've ever been (now a size 20 pushing 22: not sure of my weight, I'm too scared to look!).

I've done so many diets in the past in a bid to lose weight and failed that I've come to the conclusion that a diet is no good for me. I want a long term, healthy lifestyle. I want to drop the weight steadily, eat mainly good things and not deprive myself too much. I know I need to up my activity level too.

I have 2.5yr old DD and 8 month old DS and desperately want to be a healthy mum for them and do not want them growing up in a 'slimming' environment as I did and it's affected my relationship with food in a big way.

I'm starting as I mean to go on, I've done a 20 min workout this morning which actually felt really good.

Does anyone want to join me making small changes towards a new lifestyle?

Hi Octopus

Sorry you are feeling a bit rubbish at the moment. Have some from me in lieu of . Honestly I think it is completely normal to indulge in more comfort eating when you are not feeling so great and I imagine even 'naturally" slim people do it to some degree. So try not to be to hard on yourself.

Have you thought about ditching the scales for a short while? I'm sure I am doing better as a result of having packed them away last weekend. I am feeling slimmer (even if its just less bloated) - I can do up another notch on my belt - so I know I'm moving in the right direction. Weights can go up and down so much and it is so easy to get into the trap of up=disheartened=give up or down=hooray=slack off - for me at least. That is why I'm trying without, anyway.

How is everyone else this bank holiday weekend?

Hi, yes might be tempted to ditch the scales. The problem is that I can feel fat or thin so easily depending on my mood. Think it will get a bit easier when the kids are back in a routine at school etc.

Hi, I'm a bit new to Mumsnet, but glad I saw this thread. After years of disordered eating, binging, overexercising, dieting I have finally come to the same conclusion as you. I actually just started a blog about my own sort of self acceptance/fitness journey, not sure if I'm allowed to post the link though.

I'm 35, 5 ft 6 and 13.2 stone, but a size 8/10 top, 12 bottom (always had big hips ). I'm focusing now on eating healthy, but to be perfectly honest, it's not a huge focus. I'm exercising 5 days a week and doing quite a bit of weight lifting (which I'm loving, its really changed my body shape), and I'm focusing on loving what I see in the mirror instead of just looking at flaws.

I refuse to live on a restrictive diet and follow the same unhealthy mental and physical paths I've been on most of my life. I've read quite a few studies that say its better to be fit and fat then thin and unfit, and I believe it. I'm never sick anymore (I was all the time when I was 9 stone), major issues I had like IBS and low blood pressure are gone and I've tons more energy than I ever did!

Still got issues (need to cut down on the wine ) but all in all I'm a lot happier for giving up diets.

I totally messed up yesterday. Had a good day the day before. Yesterday ate homemade cookie, homemade pizza and homemade caramel cheesecake - please dont slate me anyone, ended up having a baking day with the kids. Hasn't helped that I have't felt great the last couple of days and it has been pouring with rain. Therefore a kilo up this morning, 56 kilos. Have decided that I need to weigh myself just once a week on a Friday. It annoys me that my body wont let me get away with anything anymore, o well.

Octopus37 you need to throw the scale away. Scales are useless. You didn't "mess up" you enjoyed some treats with the kids. The only thing feeling bad about that is going to do is make you stress which will actually cause your body to hold on to weight. You said you haven't felt well its been raining, sorry, but treats are for when you aren't feeling well. Healthy eating and healthy living are long term goals, they aren't stopped or ruined by one day of treats. :)

OP and everyone joining, you are right, diets don't work (except for the likes of WW I terms of making them loads of £££!).

Stop making your hunger wrong - it is there for a reason, same as your need to sleep or pee or breathe - but it's telling you your body needs real food, not processed crap and empty calories. Give it that, without making the crap 'banned'...which immediately makes it exactly what you think you want.

Stop hating your body, punishing it and depriving it in order to change it. Work on accepting it as it is and treating it well with good food and exercise you enjoy, it will then work with you. Think of it in the way you get children to do what you want, encouragement and support and forgiveness for being 'imperfect' and making 'mistakes' (eg eating too much cake-it happens, move on, it's not a massive moral failing ) is so much more effective than criticism, hatred and punishment.

This TED talk on the subject is fantastic.

And yy to ditching the scales!

Hi everyone! Sorry I've been awol over the weekend, had a busy few days and finding it hard to get on without the mn app.

Octopus don't beat yourself up and I agree with the others, ditch the scales! You shouldn't feel guilty about baking with your children and enjoying the fruits of your labour.

Thefitfatty Welcome! Glad to hear shunning diets has been so positive - hope it will for us all too!

sleepwhenidie - definitely some really encouraging words of wisdom!

I was looking into mindful eating and came across these two youtube videos ( and ) which I've found really helpful over the last few days. Definitely makes a lot of sense.

So far I feel much more relaxed around food, although am still having occasional slip-ups but I know that if I keep trying soon it'll become second nature to make better choices.

I'm also taking better care of myself in other ways, doing nails, hair, skincare etc which is helping me feel better. My DS (9months) moved into his own room over the weekend so I feel like I can spend a bit longer on my bedtime routine now rather than creeping about in the dark scared to wake him up!

How's everyone else doing?

Just watched the video sleepwhenidie (love ted talks!) and it's along a similar line of through to the two I posted. Looks like ditching diets is definitely the way to go. I've never heard about the 'set point' before, that's really interesting.

Hello!
Basically I am a juice plus rep.
I am here to help you!!
Here's what happens...

you start on 2 shakes and 1 meal a day, you snack between the shakes.
Before you start your shakes while your waiting for them to be delivered you do a detox either for one week or two weeks.
There are lots of things you can snack on (I will send you a list of information if signed up)

The shakes are £32.50 a month for 4 months to split the cost or a one off payment of £123.75 its all despatched upfront when you order it. They come in vanilla or chocolate flavour or you can have a mixture, they are so yummy this is the only diet I can do because I love my food lol????

I also give you ongoing support, diet plans, tips and recipes and invite you to groups on facebook to keep you motivated and give you ideas on foods etc. As well as losing weight you will have lots of energy, your hair, skin & nails will look fab too as they are full of goodness ?? the clients are losing on average 4-6 pounds a week it's amazing!!

Then there's the capsules;
We have three different price ranges they all last for 4 months in total ???? The premium are our best range for quickest and most dramatic results - we've had amazing results with them helping with skin problems, boosting metabolism for quick weight loss, more energy, great hair, skin and nails ? 27 fruit and veg each day in your body as well ????

???? Premium Capsules - Red, Green and Purple

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• 2 Fruit bottles
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???? Fruit and Veg Capsules - Red and Green:

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If you want any more information Hun I'm here ???? xxx

Reported

PMSL way to totally miss the point of the thread Bella :o

Deserves reporting just for starting post with 'Basically' before we even start with the Hun and the xxx

There is come great common sense being spoken here apart from Bella - DON'T DO IT!!! and I echo what's being said...

Throw the scales away - it is scary not knowing what you weigh. How can you gauge whether you've put on or lost weight?

Well, why does it matter so much, being governed by the numbers?

It matters because it takes away our focus from what is important; putting good, nutritional food into ourselves regularly. Being aware (or mindful) of what we are eating, and making choices that take into account our health: What does this food do for me? And I don't mean 'diet' this that or the other. Diet stuff usually has other not healthy stuff added to it to make it taste 'better'.

When we are focusing on the numbers on the scale and we see they have gone up, what happens? Do we eat less to get the numbers down? Well yes we might, but we'll feel pretty shitty about our failure won't we? We'll stress and obsess about what we eat for the week and on the next weigh-in day will not eat for the whole day before the class that's what I did anyway, then stop at chippy on way home . Is that a healthy way to behave? It's blooming crazy!

What if we have lost weight? That's great isn't it? But there's still the stress of next week's class, and knowing that there is a party to attend and what will you eat? Drink? And maybe, as a reward for losing a few pounds we might 'reward' ourselves...

There is research around to suggest that that is exactly what happens. Apparently, the study showed that one group who were told they'd worked out at a certain rate and used xxx calories, ate more after it than the other group who were told they'd used far less calories. We do reward ourselves, even if we don't realise.

Taking away the stress of the scales helps us focus on our personal health calmly.

It is hard though, because I have dieted for 35 plus years using scales. The freedom from using scales is scary. But the best thing I have ever done. I go by how my clothes feel now.

When did you give up the scales stopfaffing? It's only been a week or so for me this time (have lived without scales in the house in the past but not for a long time) but I agree its a great idea and it makes you focus on the important stuff - your eating habits and how you feel.

I am trying to wean myself obsessing over good foods and bad foods, good days and bad days - instead focussing on developing good habits i.e. eating healthily 80% of the time and as part of that having sensible-sized "treats" (for me these are mainly sweet things.)

Today, after dinner, I had two rather large cookies that my SIL made for a picnic earlier and were left over. But actually I feel quite good about that because I didn't then go on to raid the cupboards for other sweet stuff - though I was tempted! And I feel that on balance today I have avoided other snacking/overeating opportunities and now and again what's wrong with some cookies.

I suspect that if I was weighing myself every day I would be far more worried about the cookies having an impact - but actually that would be ridiculous because weight gain/loss is all about the medium to long term, isn't it - apart from the 7 pounds in 7 days type stuff which we all know is pointless.

Well done everyone who is still here giving this a try. It is really helping me to know I have somewhere to come and talk - so thank you Bonnie for starting this and everyone else for posting

Thats good advice Sleepwendie and Stopfaffing, what you describe is totally what I am like. I know I need to try and ignore the scales and focus on eating healthily with some treats - think it will take me time though. Also struggling to accept that my body might want to be a bit heavier cause I am getting older, my instinct is to really fight that, but it is so hard and so futile.

stopfaffing I go by how my clothes feel and how I look in the mirror. Especially for me scales are useless as I weight lift. According to the scales I weigh as much now as I did when I was 9 months pregnant and a size 18 LOL! Considering I just bought a size 12 bathing suit, I don't think I'm that big anymore. :)

MIL sent delicious cookies from South Africa and they arrived last night. Lets just say the whole box and a couple of glasses of wine disappeared while watching Catfish. Ah well. It's not like yummy cookies arrive every day. :)

Hello again all, back home from hols and ready to get myself organised and into a more healthy routine. I was 68.5kg before the holiday and 69kg this morning, 10 days later, so not too awful. I ate pretty healthily while away but did drink too much wine - and had fish & chips last night at the DC's request.

I've been dithering about the scales. I lost 2 stone about 12 years ago (3 stone back on since ) and during that time I did weigh every day, but as I could see the fluctuations were normal I didn't get hung up about it and just noted down whenever I got to a new low weight. I did have my wedding to motivate me then though! I think I might try to not weigh until, say, half term and take stock then.

So far today I've had a banana, grapes and coffee for breakfast and have made an inventory of what food I have in so I can make a meal plan (my downfall is being disorganised and eating convenience food). DH wanted us to get a Chinese tonight but there are two portions of home made Thai chicken curry in the freezer so I've said we will have those.

Over the holidays I've read "Body by you" by Mark Lauren and plan to start his body weight strength training programme tomorrow. It's half an hour three times a week at home and sounds a bit complicated to get started but should be good when I get going with it. I'll have to keep posting on here to keep me accountable though as I'm terrible for starting fitness plans and giving up after a few weeks.

Hope everyone else is still doing well

Hi everyone,
Sorry for not posting for a while, been manic.

I had a couple of bad days earlier this week and I've decided to completely give up chocolate and sweets for a month. I geniunely feel like I NEED chocolate when I want it and I always want more when I have it...which is every day.

I'm hoping if I give it up for a month I'll then be able to have it occasionally, I just don't feel great having it everyday and some days I have LOADS of it. It's my biggest downfall.

I had a sneaky weigh in this morning and I'm down 3.5 pounds from a couple of weeks ago and it's the lowest number (by .4 haha) that I've seen in ages so I'm pleased and feeling good.

The dogs are loving their longer walks too! Turns out my nerve pain is being caused by a slipped disc so I'm taking it easy beyond the exercise I do in my daily live (dogs, horses and silks). Plus, if I'm honest, I do so much exercise anyway I'd rather learn to eat in a way that means I don't NEED to do extra workouts on top of that.

forever great loss! At least you have an answer for the cause of your pain. Is there any treatment or is it a case of gentle exercise and waiting for it to right itself?

I couldn't keep away from the scales either, and in fact have had a re-think and decided to do daily weighing. I figure the time I lost weight I weighed daily, and the periods during which I didn't I managed to convince myself I wasn't really eating that much but got a fright when I stepped on the scales. I know it's not the right way for everyone but I think it will be better for me. Anyway - I'm back to 68.5kg today, same as before the holiday so I guess I can't have done too much damage with all the

Yesterday wasn't too bad - mostly healthy foods and no snacks. I did my strength exercises and spent 3 hours in the park with the DC. I do more kid-friendly meals at the weekend which are not always the most virtuous of choices - eg pizza last night, steak pie + veg today - so it's a matter of portion control. It's hard when I've done all the cooking to serve up a small portion but I need to listen to my hunger and tell myself I can come back for more later.

I have been really really rubbish lately, it's amazing I haven't put on several pounds. I have maintained, which is something, but I really need to get back to eating positively and not just going for junk food all the damn time!