Fat, sore and struggling with losing weight. How can I succeed?

[TeddyBear5]

I really, really want to lose weight. I'm sick and tired of being big and as every year goes past I'm getting bigger.

I've always been big on my lower half. It's just where I carry my weight and until I had children I was blessed with a flat stomach. Now I don't even have that redeeming feature and big babies (some over 10lb) have left me with stomach overhang. It's recently been rubbing and I got an infection in the crease. Mortifying and devastating.

Anyway this is my lightbulb moment. I have to lose weight. I have to!! I've been trying really hard but all I can think about is food. I'm reducing my portions, cut out bread, calorie counting, drinking more and had no chocolate, puddings, crisps etc but turning to fruit and protein for snacks.

A few months ago I started couch25k and got to week 4 relatively easily but stopped when work got very busy. Will start again when children are back at school. I also have an exercise bike which I have started using. Can only manage 10 minutes at a time on that though.

I'm 5'6" and last Monday weighed in at 16st 5lb.

How can I do this long term? It just feels so pointless but I don't know why I feel this way. I like quick results and get disheartened quickly when I only lose 1-2lb a week. I know this is better for you but I lose motivation. Am I a lost cause?

For long term changes I wouldn't cut out bread for example because are you saying you'll never eat it again and is that realistic? For me personally I lose weight best with the support of a weight loss club but I don't agree with a lot of SW ideas so I always do WW. I know what to do to eat healthily, but I need the focus and support of getting weighed weekly and meeting support.
Can you schedule in regular daily exercise? I think that has really aided my weight loss this time although having small children and a lot of recent illness mine has really dropped off

I certainly don't plan on cutting out bread forever but I have noticed an improvement in my skin (had a particular issue with spots on my chin) so cutting down considerably is something I think I can do and will benefit me. I'm a lazy eater and toast especially was a quick snack/meal that I have indulged on in the past.

Go for 15 minute walks every other day.

Avoid low fat yogurts, biscuits etc - they often have hidden sugars

Meal plan - it helps,to avoid temptation. Batch cook portions of mince and freeze. Then you will always have food ready.

Check,portion sizes.

Don't eat too many potatoes or carbs.

Buy the best fruit you can afford - you are more likely to eat it.

I'm one of those people who find weight loss slow. However, if you loose 1lb per week, you will lose over a stone by Christmas. That doesn't sound so bad.

Don't feel guilty if you have a. Isn't out with friends and eat and drink. Dieting is about enjoying your food, not denying yourself.

A night out...

Have you seen the thread about a mum wanting to reduce the sugar intake of her kids. It has some useful tips on it.

Instead of thinking about what you can't eat, think about what you need to eat more of.
Try to have at least 2 portions of fruit and/or veg with every meal.
You can have mushrooms and tomatoes with eggs for breakfast or a banana and apple with porridge/yoghurt for example.
Fill half of your plate with salad and veg for lunch and dinner.
If you fancy a snack, have a glass of water and a piece if fruit first, then have your snack if you still fancy it.
Don't deny yourself anything.
Just tell yourself you're going to go for the healthy stuff first.
If you do that, you're likely to reduce your calories while still feeling full.

A stone by Christmas seems great in theory but that's 4 months of pain to only be 15st 5. I'm impatient and that doesn't seem enough of an incentive to me. I know that's my own psychology that I have to deal with and I will try hard.

I can definitely fit in exercise every day and when the children are at school it's even easier because we walk the school run, I will have time to run again and I'm generally out and about more on foot.

Thinking about what I can eat instead of what I can't is a great way to view it. I'm very much half glass empty with the whole thing so hopefully that can help change my mindset.

I'm also keeping a food diary at the moment. I need to evaluate in a week or two whether this is helping or hindering me.

Thanks everyone.

Have you gotten any enlightenment on your relationship with food?

what is food to you?

What makes you eat?

Hi, I remember your previous thread. I posted to say I am almost exactly the same weight and height as you.
I am not dieting at the moment as I am pregnant. Was 16,8 before I got pregnant. Lost a lot due to sickness and am 16,4 now with 2 months to go. Hoping to end up where I began so I wont have extra pregnancy weight to lose.
I never want to be this big and heavy again so, once baby is here I plan to get on the wagon and shift the weight. I have lost most of this weight before but had some trying times last year and turned to food for comfort

I do find cutting carbs helps speed my weight loss from 1lb a week to 2-4lb depending on how 'hardcore' I go.
I try to eat less carbs (max one a day) and better carbs when I do eat them. There are some food alternatives so baked sweet pot instead of regular potato. There's loads of info online if you are interested.

Take it a pound at a time. Try to never be disappointed with a loss. It's all in the right direction.

Try moving more. Take children for a walk or put them on bikes so you have to go a bit quicker to keep up. Take things up and down the stairs one at a time. Choose a song and dance to it on the radio everyday. All movement burns calories.

Good luck

What is my relationship with food? Honestly I don't know. I don't even know how you go about finding out.

What makes me eat? Greed. I like food that is 'bad' for you. I like cakes and chocolate and cheese and biscuits. I am a terrible and lazy cook so I pop a pizza in the oven instead of this cooking from scratch business. I don't organise a meal until I'm hungry and then I make toast or order a takeaway.

rosie thank you for your support, I completely agree with your sentiments that you never want to be this big again. I have lovely clothes I want to fit into again. I don't want to be ashamed of having my photograph taken with my children. Congrats on the weight loss already.

' but that's 4 months of pain'

This is the problem really. Its's the framing of it. I'm a stone from target now, having been to SW twice over the last 3 years. Left the first time when I was happy with the fit of my clothes, but staying to target this time. I don't frame it as pain or being miserable now. I frame food as a choice. I can choose to eat foods that make me fat or foods that enable me to be fit and healthy. It's taken a long time to get to this way of thinking, but it's enormously liberating. I'm not short-changing myself with choices that make me miserable, but if I do want to make a choice to eat something less healthy I can. But my appetite is now under control so I know I won't eat that less healthy choice to excess. Mostly

Thanks Katharine I think you've made a good point. I see it as punishment of what I can't eat now instead of switching my mindset to 'look at these great choices I'm now making'. It's so depressing. I'm soooo hungry it's hard not to feel that way!

If you are hungry all the time you are most likely not eating enough. When I eat really healthily I cannot physically get through all the food I need to eat - and I'm a big eater. I mean massive massive salads, decent sized lumps of high quality protein, it feels endless - and washed down with lots of water. If you're eating salads you can have HUGE bowls of raw veg. And some high quality filling carbs to give you energy - brown rice, oats, sweet potato but not too much of it.

I'm not hungry either, but I'm doing SW which allows lovely big portions of lots of things.

If I follow a paleo style diet (low carb , high protein, high veg plus I still eat some diary) I find I'm only hungry for a day or two then my appetite subsides.
I actually find that without all the bread, pasta, potatoes and cereals, I'm a different kind of hungry. It's less of an 'oh my god when is my next meal?' and more 'I could eat now/soon.'

Don't give up Teddy. If what you try isn't working for you then experiment a little. There are so many options that I'm sure you will find what suits you.

Start to keep a mood / food diary
so that you understand what is making you eat and thus control it

but PLANNING is the key
plan what you will eat - meals and drinks - several days at a time
and only buy what fits into those meal plans

Planning is definitely the key. Dh does our food shopping and he'll buy healthy stuff but hates a list. Will work on that.

Good news (ish)- weighed myself this morning and I've lost 4lb.

Excellent news! Well done. Don't you find that seeing a loss makes it all seem a little easier

Thank you. I've set myself some little targets and have based it on losing two pounds a week- is that realistic? I'd like to get to a healthy BMI by my summer holiday next year. Seems a giant struggle though. I need to get in a more positive frame of mind but it seems like such a huge mountain so hopefully the small goals will help and not dishearten me if I don't meet them.

Thanks for all the suggestions.

I think 2lb is realistic if you plan to exercise a bit as well as diet. There will be better and not so good weeks too.
I think next summer is a great target too.

Between 1 and 2 lb a week is perfectly sane.
Some weeks will be nil, some will be 4
but you have to keep track of the journey, not give up if there is one step back.

You need to do a shopping list with your DH as he is clearly buying too much.
THink of the money you will save when you are eating less

Hmm I think this might the downfall in the plan. I'm a childminder and have up to 3 little ones here in the day for lunch and snacks and up to 8 children here for dinner, plus dh and I. Our food bill and quantities are enormous and snack and meals are constantly on my mind why whether it's for me or the children.

Teddy
Ah, OK, you are going to have to have willpower of steel.
But actually if you creep all of the kids towards a micronutrient rich diet - cutting down on sugar and processed carbs, you'll be doing them all a long term good.
And basically you have got to learn to not snack with the kids.

Constantly thinking about food is entirely natural.
Being able to act on that thought is a very modern western phenomena.
Learning how to have 4 hour gaps between eating sessions is something the West needs to get back.

Snacking can lead to diabetes.
If you can get the kids out of the habit it will make your life easier and theirs lives better

Thank you I'll give it a go. I've been a bit better today. I think I'm actually accepting of the hunger feeling. Before, I would have to remedy it but now I don't feel so desperate and scared by the feeling. Can you feel scared of feeling hungry? I don't know but it feels like it.

Yep Teddy I totally get what you mean about the Fear! I go to great lengths to avoid being hungry, my bag is always full of snacks and I panic if there's nothing snacky in the house.

I have only just started to confront this and I am learning to live with hunger and not immediately squash it with junk food. I am hungry at the moment - actually I'm hungrier because I've snacked too much today I think, the little extra sugar has raised my appetite - I will just go to bed though. I can wait until the next meal. In the daytime I am generally getting a bit better at telling myself I'll have it 'later' - and actually sometimes when later comes, I still don't need it. Even going from dinner til bedtime without eating is a massive achievement for me but every day that I manage to do it takes me closer to my goal.

It is hard. But it gets easier. I'm reminding myself also that this weight didn't come on in a few months, so it won't be shed in a few months either. It's a long haul. But it's more likely to stick, by doing it steadily. :)