Very Depressing

[NettleTea]

Its sad to be talking about weight. Until my mid 30s I never had to think about it. I had a little tummy, but Id always had that, but was a steady size 10.

I had my daughter and again, dropped back down to a size 10. I had a high stress time then - going on 6 years in a horribly mentally abusive relationship - so possibly lived alot on coffee and cigarettes.

When my daughter was 2 I split with her father. Within 3 months I had gone up to a size 14/16 - I had less anxiety, probably eating more, but not enough more to warrant the increase so rapidly.

I levelled out at that size for another 3 years and then fell pregnant with my son, and I went up to around 13 1/2 stone. Whilst pregant something happened and I developed primary lymphodema in one leg - I had suffered very slightly in my ankles a couple of years previously, but it had gone away. This time it stayed and then moved into the other leg too.

In 2011 I decided I had had enough and started weightwatchers in the January - by June I was down to 9 1/2 stone, fitted into size 8, fit and healthy. I didnt really follow the plan as I was very busy, but after Christmas / new year 2012 I was back up 1/2 stone but not too concerned as I thought I would just do WW again and all was good - I had found it easy before.

March 2012 I went to EuroDisney. The day I came back I quit smoking. I didnt smoke much - maybe 6 a day roll ups, and I stopped easily, but my body went into shock. I literally could barely go to the loo for weeks. My periods stopped for 9 months and I put on 2 1/2 stone in 2 months - I felt as if I had been expanded, my skin felt stretched, my lymphodema spread to both legs.

Nov 2012 I went back to WW with a friend. I followed the diet religiously for a year. I lost 1/2 lb.

Im truly not even eating much. Often I dont eat all day and just have tea. I dont snack. I dont eat crisps or biscuits. I have had lots and lots of stress, I dont sleep - waking often 4 times a night. I have had 1 night full sleep since my son was born in 2006. I weigh over 13 stone and dont know what to do. I have tried tons of stuff to help me sleep - thinking if that was sorted maybe other stuff will fall into place - new pillows, mattress, black out blinds, hyponism tapes. I dont want sleeping pills as they have rebound insomnia.

When I tried a no dairy, no gluten, no sugar diet I got chronic IBS for weeks and ended up dehydrated due to the terrible diarhoea.

Any advice?

oh, and both WW and the doctors just said 'thats interesting' when Ive asked them about it.

I would suggest stopping the faddy stuff of no gluten, dairy etc. Not eating and just drinking tea will not help here and you need to get back to eating and taking care of yourself. So that means 3 healthy meals a day for a few weeks/months. Lots of water, fish, lean meats, veg, fruit, healthy fats like olive oil, coconut oil for cooking etc. Take some exercise, walking and yoga to help with the stress and get you moving. Lack of sleep is a major cause of weight gain, so you need to get a bedtime routine going so you can nod off and get 7-9 hrs EVERY night. So relax, bath, bed at a decent time. Valerian tea is good for a few wks to help. Then once you have regained your basic level of health maybe try some intermittent fasting/5:2 or low carb to help with further weight loss. But you must get the basics in order first IMO. Im doing it myself and already losing weight...after a very long period of high stress and not looking after myself. You can do it, but it will take a real commitment to eat properly, exercise and look after YOU.

What AfroPuffs said.

And I wouldn't use WW again. They changed from points to pro points around 2012 and I found it difficult to lose anything on it. I lost a lot of weight in 2010 but it was scored differently then. I cannot lose on the new regime.

I would use MFP as a simple calorie tracker - it has way more foods and is easier to work. Work out your basal metabolic rate (there are calculators around if you google for it) and adjust your MFP targets accordingly. MFP is free and you can add friends on it. Peer support is important - do you have anyone who wants to lose weight too?

You do sound very stressed - is there some way you can build some time into your day for winding down? I mean an hour or so before bed meditating or practising mindfulness techniques or even just painting your nails in front of the X Factor - just something to switch off the endless task list churning around your brain and concentrate on something smaller for a while. I hear colouring is great for that too, there are some lovely colouring books for grownups.

What AfroPuffs said.

And I wouldn't use WW again. They changed from points to pro points around 2012 and I found it difficult to lose anything on it. I lost a lot of weight in 2010 but it was scored differently then. I cannot lose on the new regime.

I would use MFP as a simple calorie tracker - it has way more foods and is easier to work. Work out your basal metabolic rate (there are calculators around if you google for it) and adjust your MFP targets accordingly. MFP is free and you can add friends on it. Peer support is important - do you have anyone who wants to lose weight too?

You do sound very stressed - is there some way you can build some time into your day for winding down? I mean an hour or so before bed meditating or practising mindfulness techniques or even just painting your nails in front of the X Factor - just something to switch off the endless task list churning around your brain and concentrate on something smaller for a while. I hear colouring is great for that too, there are some lovely colouring books for grownups.

Thank you - I will look up MFP and the basal metabolic rate. Im 48, so have the added fun of perimenopausal stuff going on too.

I too lost lots of weight on WW pre-pregnancy but since having kids, frankly it's too much hassle to plan so much.
I've recently started 5:2 and feel much better in myself. It has cured me (almost) of my occasional binge eating habits, I have gone off crap foods like crisps which have always been my downfall and I'm losing weight slowly and steadily.
Also, exercising is vital to my weight loss: they say that weight loss is 80% what you ear and 20% exercise but in my case it's more like 60:40.
But I agree with PP: first you get the basics of healthy eating right. Don't worry about weight loss until that is in place. Then try something like 5:2.
Good luck

well I had a bowl of porridge for breakfast! My MFP came back as around 1450 calories, I understand you multiply it by a fraction depending upon exercise level. so will have a look at that too.

Good start! Your basal metabolic rate is the amount of calories it costs your body just to keep you alive and breathing each day. So anything you do activity wise is extra. This means you can eat 1450 calories per day and lose weight because you are eating at a deficit. I find I can eat about 1800 and still lose weight reasonably quickly, but keeping track of it is key, and making good choices - soup instead of a sandwich, etc.

Yes, I don't go well with wheat, and I've been lazy and resorted to toast and sandwiches because I've been working all day and that's all I've been able to find.
I think cutting out wheat a fair amount would Los help