17stone, how did I let this happen?!!

[Letmegetanamechange]

Just decided to weigh myself after avoiding the scales like the plague and I'm 17st3lbs. I was down from 16st6 to 15st10 after my last diet attempt and since then I've been gorging on sugar and carbs like you wouldn't believe.

2 breakfasts, bread and chocolate for lunch, pizza for tea and then huge sugary snacks every day because I needed a treat. Yesterday it was a huge bar of whole nut chocolate and strawberry laces. Then half a family sized bag of Doritos in the evening. I don't know why I'm doing this to myself, but I feel like I'm on such a self destructive path right now. Before Christmas I was 15st after dieting but when I stop I put on more than I started with.

I'm so confused about what to do. Calorie count with MFP? I lost 4+ stone on MFP because DD came along so I know it works, but the last 2 diet attempts have been on MFP and I felt like I was starving most of the time.
Slimming world again? Going back to the group I left over 2 stone heavier fills me with dread. I know it works, but I wasn't truly commited last time!

Nothing fits anymore, I had to go out and buy size 20 clothes because I could no longer fit in the 2 pairs of jeans I owned.

I'm sorry this has just ended up being a horrible rant while I'm teary and snotty nosed I feel like I just need someone to tell me what to do! I KNOW what to do, but I just don't have the motivation to do it!

Don't beat yourself up! I know exactly what you mean. I can't just eat one slice of cake, I need three! The fact that you have posted on here is a start. I didn't want to read and run but someone more useful than me will post some help for you.

Ditto. I feel desperate with it at the moment. I'm 17 stone, 15 stone two years ago, 10 stone 5 years ago, 15 stone 10 years ago. One of the main things on my mind is that my husband hates it &snags/teases me about my weight/issues all the time which makes it much harder to diet because I'm miserable! Anyway didn't mean to hijack, I'm doing c25k at the mo which IS making me feel better. Have you considered the MN lc bootcamp? I read the threads & keep thinking about it, even did a lc shop but the thought of all the meat & eggs makes me feel sick. Your diet sounds like mine

I would keep going on MFP but spend a week or two (or three) not expecting to stay at calorie goal, but just logging your food. It will help you think about it, and make different choices. Then gradually try and cut down more and more.
If you were addicted to a drug or drink, you would cut down slowly, because thats a sustainable way. In a few weeks of practicing and retraining your appetite, youll be able to find a diet regime that you can stick to and enjoy and is better for your health.
It may seem an insurmountable task right now, but it isnt. It will just take time, and time passes anyway

5:2? that way you dont have to try hard all the time because that can seem like a burden. For me too it makes me more accepting of feeling hungry, which makes me eat less the rest of the time. I find I do need to log on MFP all the time though to make sure I am not binging when I am not fasting.

Thank you so much for the replies, you have no idea how much I needed to hear some kind words! And it makes it all seem a little brighter knowing I'm not the only one going through similar weight issues! I blow dried my hair and put on my new dress and I feel a lot better now

Wrinkled I'm the same, it's everything in excess for me. I can't go and buy a small bar of chocolate, it's a huge bar. Food is a treat to me, if I'm bored or lonely I buy something nice to treat myself with and the day feels better because of it. How sad is that?!

Fresher I'm really sorry your husband is making you feel that way, you need him to support you and love you no matter what you weigh! I did c25k before DD and it truly is amazing stupidly when I got pregnant my 3 weekly 45 minute runs went out the window along with my sensible diet I feel like now I have so many more obstacles facing me-lack of time to exercise/no babysitter/no where I would feel ok to run. Less money to spend on healthy food, less time to organise meals. And it's all EXCUSES! Junk food may be cheaper than healthy food but I eat and spend a hell of a lot more on it than I would if I bought healthy snacks. And DD (who's nearly 2) would gladly hoover up any fruit and veg you give her but isn't a massive fan of chocolate or crisps. I really have no excuse.

Branleuse I like that idea, I think I need to see the damage that my diet is doing at the moment. I knew with every bad thing I'd eaten that it was only going to make it worse but I chose to ignore that little voice that said "stop eating".

Elysian I have been curious about the 5:2 plan, but I worry about the fast days and being absolutely ravenous. I've gotten in to the habit of 2 breakfasts because I get nervous about the burning hungry feeling I may get at work. I'd have breakfast at around 8, start work at 12, have my lunch break at around 2 so worry if I don't eat enough I'll be starving by lunch time! God I've realised how stupid that sounds how many calories should you eat on non-fast days? Is it 2000?

Wow this has turned into an essay, I'm sorry! I have a habit of really long rambling posts.

Couch to 5k and mfp, add in a bit of hillwalking if you can (burns loads of calories!) I went from 16st 12 to 10st 7 doing this.

I know how you feel about your weight. I am 14 stone 9 (although I haven't WI this week, too afraid too) and I've just had to buy myself size 18s as nothing fits anymore.

I too have been crying. I can't seem to get motivated and hate exercise.

I have a personal trainer but the weight is going UP not DOWN as I am not eating what I should - so I cancel on my PT a lot as I'm so embarrassed.

I've signed up to nutracheck - I quite like the pictures you can click on for the right food/brand. I just need to select the right foods now and cut out the chocolate

Hi frankie, it's an awful feeling isn't it? I finally gave in last week and put all my size 14 clothes in a vacuum bag under the bed last week to clear some space in the wardrobe. I don't have the heart to get rid of them because it feels like the final nail in the coffin.

Even though I was in tears this morning I'm still thinking about the icecream we have in the freezer part of my problem is never being organised with food shopping! We shop at aldi but don't drive so rely on lifts or getting a taxi. The days me and DP are off together we never seem to get round to doing a food shop because I'd rather we do something fun together, so I end up buying whatever is cheap and convenient. Like pizza! We seem to live on pizza

I know that fear of being hungry feeling. I wonder what's behind that? I do it with the kids too, if they ask for food I give it to them because I think being hungry is a terrible feeling. Dh says there's nothing wrong in feeling hungry which is logical it just doesn't compute!! I'm FresherThanYou77 on mfp

lots of people rave about 5:2 but I could never stick to 500 cals, and you wouldnt be able to eat your current diet the rest of the time. You still have to eat something like 1500 cals on the other days

You need to eat as close to the plant or animal as possible which means goodbye to all processed rubbish and hello to from scratch cooking.

It might help to think of eating healthily than losing weight.

No baked goods . No artificial sweetened drinks. They just make you crave sugar more and keep your body acidic.

Nothing loaded with sugar. A couple of pieces of fruit a day. If you do want to eat bread then get a good quality bread and limit yourself to one or two slices a day providing you don't have issues with gluten.

Have a look at some whole food recipes. You need to make vegetables your friend.

Join the I quit sugar thread.

It's about lifestyle changes.

My friend who is an alternative health practionerbelievs that people who are carrying a lot of excess weight are actually starving.

Their bodies are crying out for some good nutrition and by eating more than is usual is the body's desperate attempt to get something useful they can utilise. Well it's one theory that's worth thinking about.

I had a failure at lunchtime. Was out and about, very busy, thought I'd get some soup from Greggs although they didn't have the soup I usually get (I'm fussy) but there was a Subway next door...:(

letmegetanamechange you could order shopping via mysupermarket and get it delivered?

Why not just quietly scale back here and there to start with? Swap white carbs for wholemeal, slightly smaller portion sizes, popcorn not crisps - that sort of thing. I'm doing this at the moment - have no idea of weight loss as am avoiding the scales but after three weeks my trousers are looser (although still a size 20!).

Armi I think that's what I need to do. I go in 100% and am so good for a few weeks but I feel deprived and miserable. Then I stop and go back to crazy eating.

My average daily calorie consumption at the minute is probably horrific, way WAY more than I'd like to admit. I know if I ate the same type of meals but cut down on the huge sugary snacks in favour of a much smaller snack of the same thing I'd probably lose weight. My TDEE is apparently 2600 calories so to lose a lb a week I'd have to eat around 2100. That's no small amount! I would have said I thought I ate less than that but the truth is I probably eat double that

Plus I think I need to just hide the scales instead of weighing every few days and obsessing over the numbers.

Frankie don't beat yourself up about the subway, it happens to us all
I looked on the mysupermarket website and aldi don't deliver, unfortunately my sample shop was so much cheaper than all the other supermarkets but thank you for the tip I did walk into town to pick up a few things for the next couple of days. I made a slimming world recipe for one pot chicken which was quite nice and I have half of that frozen for a quick dinner on the days I've been at work and don't have the energy to cook!

I'm already feeling so much more positive reading these responses and other threads

On the sugar thread a lady has lost a stone by quitting sugar for 5 weeks after a lifetime of bingeing it.

I'm 3 weeks in. A total ban stops the cravings dead in their tracks.

Like an addict it might not be forever its just for right now.

I quit pain killers for two years this month. Antacids for over three years now. Bread is over three years. Chicken must be nearly a year

I'm pretty good at giving up things. Sugar has been no harder.

How are you doing Letmegetanamechange?