Yo-yo dieting - how do I stop this cycle?

[CQ]

I woke myself up snoring this morning. Opened my eyes to find DH staring at me in disgust. I have hit rock bottom and am the heaviest I have EVER been.

Today I take back control.

The problem is, I know I can do this. I have done this, more times than I care to mention. I am 48 and I went on my first diet at the tender age of 20 when I really really didn't need to. Over the years I have tried them all, and mostly successfully - Cambridge diet, Scottish Slimmers, Slimming World, Weight Watchers, LCHF. Last year I did lowcarb bootcamp with the fabulous BIWI - it was great - I lost loads. And today I am 7 pounds heaver than when I started that.

I have repeatedly lost weight only to gain it again, and more besides. I am so disgusted with myself that I am now facing this mountain yet again.

For today, my first steps will be to get back on MFP and track what I eat. And to do a menu plan and do a sensible food shop. I have a gym membership, walk the dogs every day and work part time, so I have time to plan and time to work out. Trouble is my weight is now so high that it's giving me back and knee issues.

How do I change my attitude & mindset so that this time it stays off?

I would really appreciate any tips from anyone out there who has successfully beaten the yo-yo.

Like the PP, I think you have to find your forever Way Of Eating. However unlike the PP, low carb could never be that for me. After a month following Intermittent Fasting (5:2 as it's commonly known) I am starting to think that's the way forward for me.
I suspect you will get lots of people advocating their own favourite WOE on this thread. My advice is do your research properly, choose one you feel fits with your lifestyle, and embrace it. Good luck.

Thank you for starting this thread. Too much to do to add anything at present but will be back. Very much a yo yo dieter :-(

I'd start by questioning your definition of 'successful' - if all these diets have led to you being in a worse position than where you started (which is the general way things work out) then how could they be described as that? Consider the possibility that it's not you 'failing' at some point but the whole idea of dieting that doesn't work?

How about getting back to trusting your body, working out what foods suit it and tuning in to your hunger so that you eat according to that - it's a tough process after years of trying to deny your appetite to fit an arbitrary set of rules, whether about calories, fat, or carbs. For most people, as soon as you set these rules and limits then psychologically there's a sense of deprivation that part of you will fight (and usually, at some point win). So giving yourself permission to eat what you want, but with a grown up approach (your understanding of good nutrition and respect for your body) is likely to work better. This won't be a quick fix with weight loss, but you should get to a healthy weight, sustain it, feel better (free of obsessing over food) and be much healthier.

I would recommend reading The Slow Down Diet by Marc David (it's not a diet) and also take a look at the 'Eating Better' threads in Food where many posters want to ditch the diet mentality but improve their health and general way of eating so that it is generally less processed and sugar laden (but not totally!)

How about instead of 'going on a diet', you just say to yourself "I'm only going to eat foods that are nutritious and provide me with something my body needs". That way you can eat as much as you need to and shouldn't feel deprived.

Foods like meat, fish, eggs, cheese, butter, cream, veg, fruit, nuts and seeds. Plenty of fluids. Even just stopping eating loads of processed food like bread, biscuits, cakes, ready meals, takeaways etc will be a positive change. Don't buy any 'diet' product as they usually replace fat with sugar.

Meal planning could also work as you are more likely to stick to it to avoid waste.

Generally I agree with PP that the more you see it as a lifestyle change rather than a diet, the more likely you are to succeed.

I stopped yo-yo dieting when I realised the diets were not successful because I put all the weight back on. That's not success.

I stopped yo-yo dieting when I realised the diets were not successful because I put all the weight back on. That's not success.

Embrace the fact that you've got more to lose now...I think if you are using MFP religiously, having quite a lot to lose can be beneficial. If you log everything, everyday for 6-12 months, it definitely alters your way of thinking. Read the success stories on their forums, I always find them an inspiration if I'm struggling. Use MFP as....well as your pal! I lost a couple of stone with it, but then realising I'd put about a stone back on, I am back there now logging and getting back to good habits.

I don't think it is advisable to adopt any kind of diet rule...fasting, low carb etc. Just log your food and exercise and you'll soon work out what gives you good 'value'.

Try and find an exercise you like too if you can....I want to get better at running despite being a hopeless case exercise-wise for most of my life and to be better, I think I need to shift at least another half stone. More motivation.

Good luck (if you send me a message with your MFP name, I'll send a friend request if you like).

This is good TED talk

Thanks so much to all of you for replying - will check back later. This morning I have been to the gym and for a lovely walk with the dogs. Greek yoghurt with blueberries for a v late breakfast.

All logged on MFP. Excitingly, my new phone measures my steps and automatically downloads them to MFP so I get credited for them! But I don't want to obsessively count calories.

More later after work.

'it has to be a change of lifestyle, of mindset, of attitude, of shopping, of cooking - a total new way of living'
Absolutely

Interesting that low-carbing and IF have both been mooted as winning WOE's - I know that people who have had success on them regard them as a lifestyle and not a diet, but they are both another huge set of rules.

I find that I can follow rules for weeks and months, and have the 'success' of losing loads of weight. But as soon as I stop following the rules I crash spectacularly.

I cannot follow rules for the rest of my life. I have a teenage daughter and I do not want her to think that excluding foods or counting calories is necessary or a good idea. That Ted link was good - but a little depressing!

sleepwhenidie and happycamper your posts definitely struck a chord. I want to eat well but control my binges and overeating. I will definitely have a look at the healthy eating threads.

I am finally starting to learn what works for me and my body but I need to put it all together into some kind of order.

I know that bread and wine are my weaknesses. Today I have put the loaf of bread in the freezer and the butter in the fridge so it's not so easy just to snarf down a piece of bread and butter on the way through the kitchen. I will try not to have a drink unless there's a good reason. DH needs to support me with this.

I know that between 4 pm and 7 are my weakest times so I will plan to eat something filling like some greek yoghurt or a hard boiled egg at that point.

Roadrunner you are so right - when I'm in the right mindset I love exercising - I used to run a lot but I've got really dodgy knees right now. I am hopefully on the path to getting that sorted now - long story involving a chiropractor - who knew back problems could affect your knees?! And I'm sure carrying too much weight doesn't help any of it. Once she gives me the nod I will start very slowly to get back to running again. I'm also planning to get back on a horse for the first time in about 2 years as apparently that is excellent for my leg strength. Really looking forward to that

I have started logging on MFP today but I am a bit worried that I will become obsessive about it. Then once I stop I'll go off the rails again. I found it all a bit of a faff last time, trying to enter foods, so I'm going to try and persevere longer this time so that most of my favourite foods are already there.

So, I'm off to do a menu plan for the week now, and then an Ocado order to bring it all. If I'm not in the supermarket I can't put rubbish in the trolley or smell the bakery.

Would love some support on this journey if anyone out there is in a similar place?

CQ - I know what you mean about the TED talk having a depressing element but could be a great message for your DD?

I know the feeling with getting hungry around 4pm - you are right to work with it rather than fight it. Have something with fat and protein - an apple spread with nut butter, greek yoghurt with berries and a few nuts, houmous and crudites, some cubed feta and beetroot - treat it as a small meal or even your dessert a few hours before dinner instead of after!

I also sympathise with the wine - white wine is a favourite of mine and was becoming a daily habit so I just stopped keeping a bottle in the fridge unless I'm actually planning to drink. Lukewarm white wine is not nearly as inviting! I also find a G&T is a good compromise as an aperitif - less sugar than wine and I'm never tempted to have more than one, unlike an open bottle of sauvignon!

Most people who struggle with binges find they largely disappear once the restrictions are removed, if there's no wagon then you won't fall off it - it might help to work with your appetite rather than trying to "control" it, but as you would for your kids, make responsible decisions?

Come and jump in on Eating Better, lots of people there who know just where you are coming from .

I know exactly how you feel, I have spent my whole adult life on some fad diet or another and I am now currently 2 stone over weight. I know I need to do something about it but am seriously lacking in motivation, probably because I know it's an uphill battle that I will ultimately loose AGAIN!!! I found myself wondering at the beginning of this week which (of the many I have already done) diets I should fall back on this time but I have zero faith in any of them now and I feel lost as to what I should be doing to get my weight down. I know if it doesn't come down quick enough I will loose heart and give up - I'm currently managing about 2 days of "being good" before feeling like I need to give up. It's all so bloody depressing!

Another coming on to say that 5:2 is working for me - I actually prefer to do the daily 16:8 (which I actually do as 21:3 :) ) as that feels quite natural and fits my life better.
With that, it's not a diet as such - yes you need to watch your cals but nothing, in moderation, is banned - you get back what you put in really.
I no longer throw stuff (usually bad) down my neck at the slightest hint of a tummy rumble - I drink more liquids now which is better for my body and I've almost got portion control nailed too. I'm down about a stone since feb - which is fab, especially as I don't really have that much to lose - my BMI was just into overweight before I started and I'd like to lose probably another stone.
Most impressive though is the amount of inches I have lost too.

How does that work then Carbe? Is that where you only eat in an 8 hour window and then nothing for 16? Not sure how that would work in this house, we have supper really late, usually about 8 at night. Not sure I could then make it to 12 before I eat again. As well as watching calories.

I might try it on the odd day, I know it's supposed to be good for your body to fast.

sleepwhenidie - where do I find the Eating Better threads? Had a quick look on weight loss chat board but can't see anything? Love your nn by the way - when we are knackered and can't face going out but have to, DH and I always say 'come on, sleep when you're dead'! That and a stiff g&t usually gets us out the door.

Yes that's how it works - I kind of fell into it really. I lost my appetite and had to force myself to eat - it then felt okay and normal.
I don't really stress about what time I eat - but wouldn't eat really late like 10pm of after. Usually I have dinner between 6 and 8 pm.

You could try the 5:2 where you eat normally while watching the cals and fast for 2 days but are still allowed 500 cals (for a woman) or even just start with one day at first to ease yourself in if you are interested. Visit the 5:2 threads - some lovely people and excellent support.

Find healthy recipes you actually like. Eat well 80-90% of the time and eat what you like (within reason) the rest of the time. The binge/starve cycle does no one any good long term.

I think the problem for some people with 'just healthy eating', myself included, is that their perception of portion size is completely skewed. Nowadays, on the 5:2, I weigh and track the calories of everything I put in my mouth, even on non-fast days. It has totally revised my opinion of how much food I need.
IME the advice to just eat healthily is premature. Sometimes people like the OP and me need time on a regimented way of eating, to re-learn what the body actually needs, as opposed to what it wants.

CQ it's purposely not in weight loss section , here it is in Food!

I have to say I've done 5:2 and really it's just another fad. I did that "successfully" (along with all the other diets) and am heavier than when I started it - I think it might have messed with my metabolism.

That's what helped me too confused I thought I was eating okay portion sizes but once I started tracking and weighing I could see I was over calculating what a normal portion actually was.
I've always had a very emotional attachment and relationship with food but I no longer want to binge.
While your advice could work for some Helen - I know it wouldn't for me. I have to be strict with myself. So calories worked at the TDEE for the weight I want to be and if I want a biscuit/chocolate/ whatever the calories are all taken into consideration. It's taught me that sometimes 'treats' are really not worth eating :)

sweetheart I don't think diets like 5:2, WeightWatchers, Slimming World etc are fads. They are all healthy ways to eat, and one will suit some people, another will suit others. E.g. I did well on WW, and kept it off til I got pregnant, but I hated SW. I'm enjoying 5:2 as well now. They only fail when the human being decides to stop following the rules.
Things like slim fast, Cambridge Diet, Juice Plus etc - now they are fads.