Fat and fed up

[missroma]

I am so fed up and frustrated with myself because I just can not get motivated to shift thirty odd pounds. Every day I start "my diet" and everyday by lunchtime I have failed miserably. This makes me feel even more of a failure and then just eat more! It's almost laughable really. I don't want to be like this. Does this sound familiar to anybody?

This is me. I'm just coming off anti-depressants so think they have affected my weight, and also means I'm not in the right head space to commit to anything atm. Well I have to blame something!! Normally I am good at applying myself to healthy eating and exercise, but lately I only make it so far each day, like you. I've got a fitbit that I wear everyday and log on to MFP everyday, but can't stick at it. My head is all over the place and I really HATE myself for being this fat cow. I'm looking at hypnotherapy now, weightloss programme is £240 for four sessions. I need to try this cos there's obviously something massively psychological going on. Just need to figure out how to get my hands on the cash!!!

By the way, I want to lose 30lbs too!

Funny I'm thinking of going on anti depressants in the hope that they will put me in the right head space to lose weight. I've just lost all motivation and I know that if I could just stick to a diet for a week I will then be on a roll. I'm having problems getting past day one. Crazy really because I'm a positive person that just gets things done but this weight thing just seems too massive.

Yes, I feel utterly defeated, and the trouble is that being overweight affects every part of my life e.g. lack of self confidence, low energy... Somebody send help!!!

If you are failing by lunchtime what do you eat for breakfast?

I have one slice of toast at 6am with the kids, then after the school run I have porridge with skimmed milk. I have to put food in my mouth to feel better, I'm not hungry. I don't think.

I've just started a diet this week but from past experience I know that I need to be properly ready to do it for it to actually work.
I've been spending a lot of time thinking about why I eat and my relationship with hunger. Those are my issues which I need to sort out before any diet has a chance of succeeding. I don't eat (simply) when I'm hungry, I eat for many different reasons and in trying to understand that, I hope it'll help me.
In your situation, I'd be tempted to just forget about diets for a while. Constantly starting and 'failing' is not going to help you. Think about why you eat and what you eat. Take some time to try and figure out why you don't have a healthy relationship with food first. (Mine is based in childhood)

To be honest I don't have issues with food, I have a fierce chocolate addiction. I'm really not bothered about junk food or any food that is savoury for me it's chocolate cake and biscuits. I know there is a lot if emotional eating going on which is what I need to deal with.

Have you tried eating breakfast as late as possible? And even missing it and going straight to a planned lunch?

Breakfast sometimes kick starts the appetite for over eaters and not having it, or eating it as late as possible reduces the appetite.

It's the only thing that works for me. Of course, you need to find the thing that works for you.

I never eat breakfast, I rarely eat before 11 o'clock but once I have lunch I then start on the chocolate and it's all down hill from there.

Maybe you need a little breakfast instead then? You might need less at lunch then.

I kind of panic if I can't have food. It really is a drug for me. I need the Speakmans!!

I think it's my head I need to sort out, then hopefully that will improve my binge eating chocolate habit.

What do you have for breakfast?

Are you bored?

You probably need to go cold turkey and banish the sugar or limit it to a small treat to look forward to at the end of the day.

I wouldn't recommend antidepressants for weight loss, they often have the opposite effect!

I really think sugar is very physically addictive, you need to find a way of breaking the cycle, like with smoking.

could you do one day with no sugar? you will feel groggy without sugar to pick you up, but if you can psych yourself up to get through the day it will give you a confidence boost, and start to challenge negative feelings. theres no point setting unattainable goals like saying 'i will never eat any chocolate again!', you need to see it as a gradual process, and realise that you can pick yourself up after pitfalls.

Stop trying to diet then. Get off the treadmill of diet/gain/diet/gain. Just try eating when your a properly hungry and eat what it is you are really hungry for. End the emotional eating. Re learn how to eat normally. Plenty of books with hypnosis cds out there that will help you with your emotional eating/binging. You many think you will overeat everything and never stop but that doesn't happen. Once you stock your kitchen with the foods you truly love and allow yourself to eat them when truly hungry and stop when satisfied (not full) then food stops ruling you. This is something you can do for life and the weight comes off slowly but stays off.

I have to say I've always struggled with this (and will continue to im sure) but going without sugar for a week has done wonders for me (fingers crossed but my 20 years of acne seems to have cleared up in a week!)

Maybe one week without sugar might get you in the right place. Or, if you can cook, try sliming world - I've often heard it referred to as "weightwatchers for people who constantly eat"

I'd really recommend that you read a copy of Potatoes not Prozac - it's a book about the link between sugar addiction and depression. It explains all the science behind sugar addiction and then outlines a gentle step-by-step approach to combat it. I'd also recommend that you eat more protein with your meals as I find that once I'm feeling full the desire to skip a meal and just eat a Double Decker instead lessens.

I'm just in the throes of cutting out sugar.

I'm gluten free and dairy free so have already said goodbye to cakes, biscuits, ice cream etc.

It's hard because I could live on them.

So, chocolate was my next big thing. The first day is the hardest. The second probably a bit better but by the third day I was on a roll.

I think sugar is the worst thing invented.

It's amazing how sweet things like apples, dates etc are when you've given up sugar.

If you must have something sweet eat a nakd choc orange bar. There's no added sugar. I make my own.

A couple of suggestions occur to me.

Firstly, recording what you eat and the calories you consume. Don't try to change or reduce, just spend a week recording every single bite. MyFitnessPal is good for this.

Or, aim to diet until 2pm every day (and then don't worry about afterwards). So, until 2pm you eat sensibly and make good choices. Then next week, push it back a little, and so on.