Does anyone have any tips about dieting when your partner or oh is obsessed with food and cooking and is forever buying and serving up delicious food/meals?

[Slowcommotion]

I am preparing for my diet/healthy eating plan (starting properly in Lent) and have a real problem with this issue.

My dh loves food. He loves buying it, loves cooking it and loves preparing delicious things to eat. All wonderful you might say, but not when we are both overweight and not when I have the willpower of a recalcitrant slug.

I know that I am solely responsible for what I put in my own mouth. But dieting is so much harder when someone is continually buying and preparing (sometimes) calorific foods.

We actually eat fairly healthily, but about twice as much as we should. The added complication is that we have a dd who needs to put on weight.

How would you/do you handle it?

(a) tell no one you are dieting. Eat normally but cut down dramatically on portion size.

(b) buy and prepare food for yourself separately from that of your oh

We have tried in the past to work together on a joint dieting venture but we are very different and it hasn't worked. (He is in the right frame of mind to diet, I am not or vice versa. He likes high fat foods and I don't. I like sugary foods, he doesn't etc etc. He finds it difficult to give up alcohol, I don't etc) But when I start my own diet separately, and buy my own foods, he will still bring fattening cakes and biscuits home etc.

Any other ideas/tips/advice? Thank you!

We have a tiny place in the S.E. also relations in London too! DH works in Europe a lot.

Are you in Europe for work? [nosy emoticom] too

Yes, dh runs his own business here.

You were wise to maintain a property in SE!! I mainly stay with family when we go back but would much prefer to have a base of our own.

Yes but it's not much. Do you like it there? We reckon that the food in Bel. is better the here

Have love hate relationship with it. Great for dh and dd - not quite so great for me (particularly job-wise). Also, make great friendships and then people move on!

Also, I am a country- horse- dog-lover and we live in the middle of the city which is getting me down a bit currently.

All important things: education, health provision etc really good though!

And yes, food is fantastic!! (Which links back to being overweight!!!)

Do you like it where you are?

Sorry Ppeat

It's the op in the last post btw!

(Recent name change!!)

Yes, but unlike you we live in the heart of the country , it's beautiful but the adult dcs are in London of course and I miss them and our GD.

I'd love livestock but due to our toing and froing we can't have anything bigger than a cat (and the strays that turn up).

There are the smallest ponies you've ever seen here! There was a mother and foal for sale for 1000 euros in our local monthly market. Soo tiny and sooo sweet we were tempted but stayed hardhearted

Yes, livestock pretty impossible when commuting between two countries but oh about the ponies ... !

Must be hard to be separated from dcs/gd but lovely to live somewhere rural! At least you can grow your own fruit & veg!

And combination of London + rural France must be pretty unbeatable!

Fruit yes but veg. no it needs watering and we're not here enough for that. Also we have wonderful local organic and natural farmer friends who we HAVE to support!!! I have never had such fresh skilfully grown veg. YUM.!

Sounds fab Ppeat and, to return to where we started, great for the diet!

Yes exactly ! Sling I was worried we'd taken over someone else'e thread but it's yours!

What did yr. dh think about PaulMack? because it could also help yr dd put on weight if you give her her favourite foods on it!

OOoh good idea - hadn't thought of using Paul Mck "in reverse" ifyswim for dd. Might try that!

Dh thinks anything vaguely "hippy" (which is how he classifies hypnosis) is basically risible and wouldn't have anything to do with it. To be fair to him, I haven't actually asked him to listen to it, but I can pretty much predict his response!!!

I've started cutting down on portion sizes today (start of month and all that). Nothing dramatic but trying to work my way down to a proper starting point by the 18th (start of Lent). I'm probably eating double what I should right now. Will start listening to the tapes tomorrow to help this process!!! Thanks again!!

Just chewing your food consciously, 15 to 25 times (depending on the food of course)! is one good way of kick starting PaulMack. You really taste it and it fills you up much quicker.

Then you don't need to to worry about portion size. I like it when he says 'don't be a member of the clean plate club!'. Leave it for your next meal or the next day or whatever, it'll still be there! I have to say to myself "I'll have a dessert as my next meal because I can only eat 2 small courses now!!

Thanks for encouragement Ppeat! Yesterday wasn't so good in diet terms after all as it was the Fete de la Chandeleur at dd's school, which involved eating lots of pancakes for charity! Hwr, did try and compensate by having home-made beef broth for supper.

Onwards and upwards! [And hopefully inwards wrt to waist size!!

I think to make a real difference and lose a stone in three months you will have to go your own way and make your own food. You will have to be determined to avoid what your dh is offering and be grateful he can cater for himself and your dc. I was catering for a family of five, including myself,and there were some differences among the others too as my 12 month old wasn't eating everything at that point!!

But to realistically reduce my calorie intake enough to lose weight, and not be hungry, I had to start my food from scratch. Tiny portions of high fat food wouldn't work for me as I would be hungry !

The good news is as I lost weight I have been easily able to maintain by eating the same as my family,smaller portions than before!and some things I cook are much lower far anyway and everyone eats them.. Eg lasagne with lower fat sauces (half veggies in the meat sauce, and low fat ricotta / spinach for the white sauce.

Thank you Mutley - that's a really encouraging post (and a good reminder that I am really going to have to plan/work at this to make it work).

You just start again, it's not a problem (another good thing about Paul m) is you have to love and be kind to yourself.

Thank you all!! This thread has really helped!

Will post progress report in three months time!!