Sick of being fat

[GreatJoanUmber]

That's it really.

I'm very overweight at the moment and I hate it with a passion, yet apparently not enough to do something about it!

I weighed 136lbs when I fell pregnant with DC3, stepped on the scales this morning and it said 206lbs
DC3 is 11 months now, yet I'm heavier than I was when pregnant with a 10lb baby. I'm breastfeeding him, which seems to be my curse - I always pile on the pounds when BFing. Sleep deprivation makes me crave sugar, and BFing makes me starving hungry, not a good combination. I have had this with all of my children, gaining lots after they were born; but somehow this time I'm fatter than ever before, and I can't find the motivation to put a stop to it.
I hate the way I look, the way my face looks. I hate that none of my clothes fit me, and I had to buy special 'fat clothes' that I'm sick of wearing over and over again.i hate feeling wobbly when I walk. Yet I can't stop stuffing my face with chocolate and biscuits at every opportunity (I suppose Christmas doesn't help matters).

How can I stop myself? How can I find the motivation? What did/do you guys do?

Sorry this is long and rambling, and to clarify I know what I need to do to lose weight, I just don't know how to get into that state of mind and find the willpower to do it

Hi great, your post isnt long and rambling. I just wanted to let you know you are not alone.

I have tried every diet going. Ive lost lots of weight evry time but usually put it and more back on. I am the heaviest i have ever been. I also know what needs to be done but just cant get my head in the zone.

I hope someone will be along in a minute with some good advice

I'd go cold turkey on the sugar, it's addictive. If you eat proper meals with protein and no refined carbs then you'll break the cycle of wild swings in blood sugar that make you crave more sugar. It's horribly easy to eat 1000 extra calories a day in sugary snacks - that's enough to gain 2 lb a week. Breastfeeding an older baby that is also on solids really can't account for much in the way of calorie requirement, it's only 500 cals for an exBF baby.

No advice but sympathy OP - I could have written your post. I keep reading BFing is supposed to help lose weight as you use extra calories, but clearly not as many as the extra calories I eat while doing so. Watching with interest.

Time to turn it around.
What do you like about yourself - even its a dimple at the side of your mouth
What does your DH like about you - even if its the way you make him laugh

Focus on those intangibles
and use them to give you strength

Now
decide what you think is your "happy weight"
and work out your TDEE for that weight
thefastdiet.co.uk/how-many-calories-on-a-non-fast-day/

now start to menu plan within that limit - not strictly, just as a guideline

then you can start to evaluate which foods MATTER and which are just giving you stress

IME there's too much sitting on your bum whilst feeding with snacks beside you, too many mum and baby events revolving around cake, for BF to be any good for weight loss, certainly if you think it means you have no need to be mindful of what you eat. Are you sure you don't mistake thirst for hunger? bF makes me massively thirsty - try drinking more water as part of the solution?

I was you 9 months ago I don't think one particular thing changed to make me lose the weight more likely a culmination of things: sick of the way I looked, felt frumpy, never liked the way I looked in clothes, lack of energy & self-esteem etc etc & one day just decided it was time to address the problem. I researched different weight loss programmes & choose slimming world (it seemed the best fit with my lifestyle & cooking/eating style) & I've lost nearly 50lbs. Ultimately only you can find the willpower & motivation to start but once you get going & the weight starts dropping off & people start to notice that gives you the motivation to continue. I've since (re)discovered exercise & that has really helped boost my weight loss & is changing my shape slowly but surely which again is a massive boost. Set a goal, start & keep focused and you do it.

I would also suggest upping water intake, dropping all sugar, and eating more protein so you feel full longer

Try and drink a full glass of water every time you feed.

Also can you increase excercise? I have found I excercise far more with children as take them outdoors everyday, so no lazy indoor weekends. A lazy weekend now is a 2hr min walk/ them climbing trees along way/ baby in pram.

I've come across the website weight lose recourses. You get a days free trial. Then about £9 a month. You put in all your stats and say how much you want to lose. They then calculate how many calories you can eat per day. You log your food intake. And exercise. You get extra calories if you exercise which is very motivating. It's working for me so far.
Start today. You will feel better even by Christmas Day. Don't wait go for it. Good luck.

fidelma
MyFitnessPal does that for free

and counting back exercise calories is a recipe for disaster - best avoided

Why is counting back exercise calories bad TiP ?

Weegie
Because of reporting bias.
We always under report the calories we eat ; by anything between 10 and 30%

We always over report the amount of effort that has gone into our exercise ; by anything up to 50%

For example I swim a lot.
A lady I swim with regularly reports "swimming for 30 minutes"
I'll agree that she's in the pool for 30 minutes but she never EVER swims hard enough to get out of breath and is more often at the end of the pool gassing that lifting her feet!

I swim a mile (1604 metres) head up breast stroke in 40 minutes - which comes in at just under 400 calories
which is less than a single slice of bread sandwich!

On the other hand if you exercise lots and just account for it in your TDEE, you'll lose weight a lot faster, down to lean mean weight.

5:2 has changed my life. I was in your situation. Hated the way I felt and looked....now I have a normal BMI. I lost 2.5st in 7 months, and have now maintained (easily) for a year. No more stress about my weight, no more fad diets. The 'fast diet' is a lifestyle choice. You eat 500 cals for 2 days a week, and eat normally for the other 5 days. When I was losing I ate 2000 cals on my eating days, now I eat what I want.

The only thing you have to commit to is to 'fast' twice a week. I always do 2 days, no matter what....even over Xmas.

It really is surprisingly addictive, and makes you feel so good and in control. Search it, and it could be the one that turns your life around too x

This might sound ridiculous, but I lost weight by imagining I was single!

This for me was one of the biggest motivators, even though I'm married I knew when I was 3 stones over weight that I would not have let myself get into that state if I had been single and wanting to meet fellas.

DS is nearly one and I am the lowest weight I have ever been, due to the fact that I move so much more - not actual formal exercise, just moving more due to baby, more housework, etc.

Also, be honest about what you eat, reduce your portions sizes. Try and reduce sugar, it's uber addicitve. Eat more protein, more veg and less bread and pasta. They are the worst for me! Don't drink your calories - i.e. instead of a latté, just have a black coffee and a spash of milk.

Try and change the way your live, not be 'on a diet'. For example, a plate of cut up veggies and hummus should be a normal snack, not a box of Jaffa cakes.

Losing weight only leads to good things - more confidence, self-esteem, nicer clothes, a healthier bosy and mind. Also, it's better or your kid's health too.

Good luck, you can do it!

Body, not bosy!

Thank you all for your messages, it makes me feel less alone.

As I stated in the OP, I do know how to lose weight, I just can't get into the mindset for it at the moment...

I lost 3 stone after DC1, and around 4 stone after DC2 (I seem to get fatter with every child!), maintained it until I fell pregnant again. I know what works for me and I know I ought to exercise more. I'm just too shattered at the moment to do anything in the evenings (used to go running before DC3) and don't have any child free time in the day. We do go for lots of walks, but they are child-paced (they're 3 and 5) so I don't feel they really count as exercise.

I managed to break my diet coke habit which I'm sure made me crave chocolate even more; and to be honest just writing the post here was somewhat cathartic and helped me at least be a bit more aware of what I eat, and I'm hoping this will get things going.

Happy Christmas everyone!