Why do I insist on stuffing my face ,day in day out when being huge makes me so depressed and uncomfortable???

[soweary]

I really am at the end of my tether. I'm 8 stone overweight with a really painful hip, knees and feet. I can barely walk up a flight of stairs without becoming breathless and don't sleep properly because I snore so I'm constantly tired.

Now, wouldn't you think that I would be doing my utmost to get some of this weight off and start living my life rather than just going from day to day pigging out and feeling progressively worse and worse both physically and mentally?

Well, no I'm not and I hate myself for it. My first thought in the morning is "must weigh myself", I do and am horrified so decided that today is THE day I'll start doing something about it.

I eat a sensible breakfast and lunch (if it's a weekday) and then I come home and it starts with crisps, toast, chocolate, biscuits etc. A fairly healthy dinner with the family follows (with me picking all the time I'm cooking it) and then I'm in and out of the kitchen all evening.

I've been to the Dr who advised I try Lighterlife and has prescribed appetite depressants but I've tried them before and they didn't help as I eat when I'm not hungry. I was hoping there was some type of counselling she could refer me for but apparently not on the NHS.

Has anyone got any advice as I am stuck in this vicious circle of hating myself, overeating and then on it goes again?

TIA

have you tried lighterlife? or dismissed it striaght away. they do counselling as well.

btw, i am an overeater, more of a comfort boredom thing. wish there was more to do to get help and break the cycle.

i found i got worse when i gave up smoking.

i dont buy unhealthy for me snacks anymore, but i do like my dd3's yoghhurt covered raisins . so tonight, if i am bored i will eat an apple. or a banana.

i also need to shift the weight as its making my aches and pains worse.

oh my poor darling! I understand the defeated feeling of "why bother to try when it's probably hopeless" & "it will take ages to lose this weight & I'll never be able to diet that long anyway". You can lose it, though. One pound at a time & once you get on a roll, as it were, you're so thrilled with yourself that it just keeps coming off. You'll feel so much better physically & mentally. CAT me if you want!

On a purely practical note, why not stop buying crisps, chocolate, biscuits etc? If they aren't there, you can't eat them. I feel sad for you that you can't get counselling on the NHS - I think there are voluntary over-eaters anonymous type groups in some parts of the country, or could you afford a short period of cognitive behavioural therapy?

I am 2 stone overweight after having ds 4 months ago - i joined slimming world a few weeks ago but am really struggling atm. The evenings are my weakness, when children are in bed i start to pick and open the wine!

Like Misdee, i eat out of boredom and comfort but i really do hate myself because of it. People keep saying to me that i dont look overweight (i am 11 stone, was 9 stone but am quite all) but i dread to think what its doing to me health wise!

Sorry, have rambled on about me.

My advice would be to not buy the junk food in the first place and to try and seek out some counselling. I know someone who tries to change people's relationship with food (dont know techincal name for it!) so that they see food as purely an energy source rather than a "friend" iyswim. Maybe someone like that in your area?

HTH XX

I recently lost my "baby fat" (last child is now 3... ahem!) with a combination of weight watchers & a high-protein, low-fat diet. I started on Feb 4 this year & have lost about 2 stone. It's wonderful to have lost it but I will never forget how i felt before I began. I almost hated myself.

I started the cambridge diet over a week ago lost 9lb i felt great then today pigged out on crisps and chocolate feel really with myself now i know what you mean about viscious circle!

i want to do the cambridge diet, but am too overweight to do sole source without a gp letter. (i cant afford lighterlife atm and CD is so much cheaper)

soweary, that post could have been written by me, I feel EXACTLY the same, only I have 10 stone to lost not 8.

If you want to CAT me, maybe we can help each other.

I think the big thing is addressing the comfort issue of eating. There are so many reasons to eat besides hunger! Boredom, depression and anxiety for starters. I think diet and counselling to get to the root of the problem of why you eat is the key to success.

Yes, we rarely eat simply because we're hungry & stop when we're full, obviously.

it's very difficult isn't it? I'm seeing a dietician in a few weeks but Idon't really know what that will achieve. A good friend has lost 5 stone (yes, 5) in about 7 months on the lighterlife diet but it's way too expensive for me.

Misdee, do you have to be referred by GP to do CD? - if your DD's yoghurt coated raisins are from Asda, read the ingredients - enough to put you off scoffing them! My DD used to love them until I read that

Many people are in your position.

Sometimes people are addicted to sugar and need to move to regular meals and no snacks - all easier said than done of course. Have a look at the 7 steps on www.radiantrecovery.com to giving up sugar slowly which I found helpful.

Thanks for your replies everyone

Misdee - no, I haven't dismissed LL completely but has been lurking on a few of the LL threads and I'm not sure if it's something I could do, especially as I tried the Cambridge diet years ago and couldn't stick to it . The counselling side of it does sound really good though as I'm a comfort eater as well and think I need to explore why I use food to self medicate (can you tell I watch Dr Phil?!)

Sansousci - thanks so much for your kind words. I have managed to lose considerable amounts of weight in the past (think I've lost the same 4 or 5 stones at least 3 times and then put it back on again). As you say, the thought of losing so much again is a nightmare and I'm so angry with myself for putting the weight back on. I may well CAT you if that's ok.

Sorrell - I know this sounds like excuses excuses but I buy the crisps, sweets etc for my 2 DSs (who are slim and sporty). Must admit after seeing that advert with the girl drinking the bottle of cooking oil I did consider not buying crisps again. I think I might try this though as the junk does none of us any good - I may have a bit of a mutiny on my hands though! Re the CBT, I was hoping that the Dr could refer me for this as my brother has been referred on the NHS for CBT to combat his OCD (what a family eh?!). We're so skint ATM that a private course will have to wait but that's a definite possibilty.

Mandymoo - no need to apologise and you certainly weren't "rambling on"! I wasn't too keen on Slimming World either. From all the lurking I've been doing, apparently the new Weightwatchers No Count (I think that's what it's called) is v good and people who don't get on with SW tend to like WW - perhaps it's worth a try. I like the sound of this changing your relationship with food thing - is it similar to Paul McKenna's I Can Make You Thin TV series? I've seen the book in the library so will put that on my list for next time I'm in there.

There are so many things that I can't / won't do because of my size and think "oh, I'll do that when I've lost this weight". Trouble is, I'm nearly 42 now and for some things especially, time is running out. For example, I work somewhere where they have stables and as an employee you can get riding lessons really cheaply, trouble is there aren't any shire horses!! Seriously, I would love to learn to ride and maybe mid forties is a bit late. Another thing is a parachute jump but same problem.

Reading this back I sound really pathetic! I can just hear DH saying "it's simple,eat less, exercise more". If only it was that simple.

mama they are the fruit flakes one.

oh good misdee

If your kids want crisps, chocolate etc, buy them sometimes when you are out - one packet or bar at a time. They don't need to have this stuff at home, they really don't. Have you tried going back to your Gp to talk about your feelings of depression and the health risks associated with your weight to have another try for getting CBT? Weight loss sounds so simple, but in a world full of temptations it is hard.

Stopping eating when I'm full is something I can never remember doing. I can't count the number of times I've been at the dinner table and have ploughed on through my food til the plate is clean because it tastes too good to leave. Last night DS2 was eating a bag of Minstrels and left the last 2 because he'd had enough - why aren't I like that?!

MGP - I'm seeing a dietician on Mon but, same as you, am not sure what it will achieve as I know what I should and shouldn't be eating but will give anything a go.

Xenia - thanks for the website, will have a look at that.

Jabberwocky - you're right, comfort eating is definitely the big issue with me. I get cross with myself because it's all rooted in my childhood and I'm now an adult and should be able to take control of myself and my feelings.

Radley - just realised I'm not signed up for CATs (tightarse that I am!) so will do that. As you say, perhaps we can help each other.

Well, DH has just come home and is (lightheartedly) moaning that I'm on that damn PC again. will check back in later. thanks so much for all your advice and support. I feel much more positive already.

lots of sympathy and empathy Soweary - it's unbelievably hard when all you want to do is eat, whether you're hungry or not. I'm trying my best to break this habit and doing OK so far, but after 9 weeks at WW I can't say it's really easy yet - I still crave food, especially in the evenings, even if I'm not hungry. for me it's defnitely a boredom thing - I've taken up knitting to try to help!

Good luck with the dietician and if you start to embark on any kind of healthy eating plan remember we're here to help - I found the first couple of weeks incredibly hard - my poor old body was having to de-tox from sugar and chocolate...

soweary, I have to really guard against the "clean your plate" thing, too. What helps me is putting smaller portions on and really asking myself if I seriously need a second helping. Of course, the answer is always no, I don't need it, I just want it! The other thing is to try to ban all snacks from the house. If the others want them, have them eat them away from the house or store them in their room and eat them away from you.

I think it's great that you have already identified some of the issues that create your comfort food cravings. Dealing with them takes a bit longer, but you can do it!!

i could have written your post, im 4 stone overweight but gained weight due to the medication im on, however i feel tra;ped in the never ending cycle of disgust-eat-feel depressed etc, my weakness is chocolate, i tend to comfort eat chocolsate.

Dottydot - I've seen some of your posts while lurking on WW threads...you've done so well with WW haven't you? That sugar withdrawal thing is something that hits me really hard when I start a diet what with the shakes, headaches etc. Doesn't it go to show how incredibly bad sugar etc must be for the body?

Spacey - I remember seeing your pic when you were asking whether MNetters would speak to you at the school gates (I'm a a regular but a saddo name changer!)and you are lovely - nothing to feel disgust about at all! The medication and your actual illness can't help plus you've been through the mill over the last year or so haven't you so give yourself a break!

Hi, I'm a new person on here - first post! Just read all of your comments, and feel relieved but weird too. I have two DD's (2 n 3) - never really managed to shift the weight, and since then have put on more and more. Was 9, am now 12. Was on holiday last week and have just seen the photos......need I say more.
But what am I doing right now? No, not eating a small salad and green tea, but cheese on toast.
Why do we do it to ourselves?
Can't believe that there are others out there like me - hi!

soweary

You sound so much like me. Have you thought of OA (overeaters anonymous)?

BTW - I did lighter life and lost 4 stone in 4 months but I am now really struggling with the maintenance.

tbh LL helped a bit as it gave me a space where food was no longer an issue. I didn't have to make decisions about food every day - but obviously that is not real life. Sooner or later we have to go back to eating food.

Soweary - identify with what you're saying so so much. I've been chatting on the BigMoFos threads, and they've really helped me. Not just a diet thread (we're all doing different diets/eating plans/whatever) but a place to talk about why we overeat. It's been really helpful. Dottydot's on there too.

i could have written your post aswell, i have lost 3.5 stone but only because my ex left me, and the weight fell off because i didnt eat at all, but now i am feelimg slightly better about things i am struggling to lose the last 2.5 stone, and even stuggling to maintain where i am now,

like you i can eat well till about 3ish then i could eat non stop especially when dd's are in bed, if i didnt start on the srispa etc i wouldnt want more and more and i often wonder why one packet isnt enough? i could eat and eat and eat... and it really gets me down,

everyday is a new day when i say i will start and every 1st of the month is another start day but it never last's, and before i know it it is a new year!!