Fat and miserable...

[ReallyFatCat]

I don't really know why I'm here but I was just wondering if someone would be kind enough to offer me some advice.

I am fat and utterly miserable. I hate how I look and am disgusted with myself too. I know I'm an emotional eater and I feel like it is ruining my life. I've been single for years and although I meet men occasionally, I know they don't find me attractive because of my size.

I've tried every diet going...but just can't stick to anything. I do well for a week or two then I binge and feel miserable again. I exercise regularly but just can't control the binges.

Does anyone have any suggestions? I appreciate you taking the time to read this.

I think you need to work on building your self esteem first.
Have you ever tried counselling or cbt to get to the root of your emotional eating?
I think once you've started tackling the physiological issues you'll be easier on yourself and more motivated to stick to a diet.

*psychological not physiological

Thank you for your reply. I haven't ever tried cbt or similar...would my GP refer me for that?

I often wonder if I eat like I do to stay fat so no one will want me and I won't ever have to go through the horrendous times I went through when I was married. I dunno...I just know that I feel hideous and I hate what I see when I look in the mirror. My body disgusts me.

Thanks again for the reply...it feels good to have verbalised how I feel. I'm very good at the 'I'm fine' line.

Yes I think your gp should be able to refer you.
I wish you every success in your journey to happiness.

Really, what you say about your reasons is certainly perfectly possible. I realised when I started the VLCD I'm currently doing that if I followed it, in several months, I would no longer be fat, and I found the idea frightening. (As well as exhilarating, obviously, but I realised being fat had let me off certain hooks, and if I was thin I would have no excuse...) There is certainly a set of reasons I 'chose' to be fat - not in my case to do with relationships, but just as complicated.

I think verbalising it and analysing what's going on in your head - and perhaps talking through your marriage if that helps - is the key to understanding what's at stake, and learning what makes you binge. Head to your GP, and best wishes.