Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Weight loss chat

A space to talk openly about weight loss journeys and challenges. Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. You may wish to speak to a medical professional before starting any diet.

DH needs to lose 8 stone - advice.

15 replies

carries · 19/06/2014 22:30

My DH is 6ft & I reckon he is 21 stone. He has never been skinny but was slim when I met him (17 years old). Rugby player slim, but still 13/14 stone. He's now 35. He teaches IT but also does education consultancy work. We have 3dd. He doesn't have a lot of spare time to exercise. But also recognises that he has got into bad habits of avoiding exercise ie not been to the gym since DD1 was born 10 yrs ago. He obviously eats too many calories but not like you see folk eat on weight loss TV shows. I cook healthily most nights but I also enjoy baking. He binges on crisps, cheese etc if leftover from special events, smothers toast in butter, drinks a lot of diet coke & coffee but is tee-total.

We had a big discussion this evening cos our eldest DD has his "genes" & is a big girl despite eating the same as our very slim 7 year old. But 7 year old is naturally active, 10 year old is not. He wants to lose weight but 8 stone seems daunting. He says that he feels he would need to do hours at the gym to offset even 500kcal. And he finds it hard to stay on health track as folks constantly offer him second helpings & almost expect him to eat loads. He often refuses seconds, we don't do takeaways except on holiday, I cook from scratch, make his packed lunches. But portions big, lack of activity, too many white carbs etc..

So, where does he start with exercise, how does change his snacking and any other advice?
Thank you.

OP posts:
AggressiveBunting · 22/06/2014 07:48

Unfortunately he is somewhat right about the exercise. Whilst I think it's a great tool for maintaining weight (your 10 yr old and 7 yr old being a case in point), it doesn't do much for weight loss, because most very overweight people who are not accustomed to exercise will find it hard to do enough to make a difference (so at his weight he'd have to run 3+ miles to burn 500 calls), so 20+ miles to lose a lb.

So that leaves diet, and frankly the best thing is to pick the one he'll find easiest to stick to. A lot of men seem to find low carbing easier than calorie counting but you do have to be strict to make a difference because it works by preventing you eating too much by eliminating highly palatable moreish foods from your diet- far easier to eat a lb of brie with crackers and onion marmalade than just brie by itself. Low carbing also requires no diet coke and no coffee, although I know a lot of people who have "low carbed + coffee" and it's still worked so long as no sugar in the coffee.

As these boards will show, all methods work for some people, but you need to stick to it and not start mixing up your methods.

Also, quit baking and just don't have processed snack foods like crisps in the house. Whilst "cooking from scratch" is great in itself, it doesn't make food any more likely to promote weight loss than the same thing out of the chiller at Tesco. I could cook fettucine carbonara from scratch (well, I couldn't actually Grin, but one could) but it still wouldn't be ideal for someone trying to lose weight.

Softlysoftlycatchymonkey · 22/06/2014 08:02

My dh is in the same position.

He has oiled the weight on over the years due to an old sports injury. His weight was bearing in his hips, causing pain. I was worried about all the weight related illnesses too.

He had to get to grips with how over weight he was and realise for himself how fat he was.

He has just joined a fancy gym, it's not cheap. It's got a sauna and a steam room and a pool. Since last Friday , he has been going straight after work every other day.

He started doing small amount n the cardio machines, a few lengths then steam and sauna (he sees this as his treat)

Every time he has been he has managed to do more and more.

We have loosely been following SW at home and this week he has lost 4.5lbs!!

Try not to look at it in 8 stone but aim to lose a few pounds a week. And getting general fitness back.

Dh is aiming to get his fitness back so he can get back in to his sport, which he really misses.

Good luck

glenthebattleostrich · 22/06/2014 08:09

DH is doing low carb boot camp with me and has lost 1.5 stone (from 10 he wants to loose) in 6 weeks.

Most importantly, he is enjoying this way of eating. I think the big loss he got initially has really motivated him, 10lb in 1.5 weeks.

Softlysoftlycatchymonkey · 22/06/2014 08:11

I don't agree with the pp about not bothering with exercise.

It gives off great endorphins which help you feel good and it's encouraging to stay on healthy eating. Dh esteem has shot up this week.

Slimming world Is great for big eaters unless he really wants to shift it he won't.

Took dh a long time to get to this place in his head. Maybe your dh isn't there as it sounds like he is looking for excuses.

There is a tv program about people who are massively over weight and an American trainer gets then exercising and healthy eating and they do fab. We've been watching that and I think it hit home.

Mumraathenoisylion · 22/06/2014 08:12

My dh is roughly the same too, he has terrible old injuries and the weight has made them worse to the point where he can't exercise the way he would like to.

Swimming is a good way of exercising, dh is having a swimming instructor (even though he knows how to swim) for extra motivation. He's also started SW which I think is fantastic, not a faddy diet just a way to eat healthily and control portion size but still eat really enjoyable food and cook from scratch. They do suggest things like muller light and marshmallows are acceptable but he knows how bad sugar is and ignores the advice that the sugar heavy 'foods' are ok to eat.

It's tough, dh was the same weight as yours when we met and got to the same weight as your dh. He has already lost a stone but it was quite emotional seeing him face the realisation of what he's done to himself. One of my parents passed away when I was young and he has already had some of the same issues as them due to his weight gain, I have been terrified of me and our dc losing him.

Softlysoftlycatchymonkey · 22/06/2014 08:13

Wow good on him glen

Mumraathenoisylion · 22/06/2014 08:15

Fast weight loss is not good btw, it's not sustainable.

MelanieCheeks · 22/06/2014 08:16

Exercise is great for all sorts of things - but your DH is being realistic about how long it takes to burn off 500 cals. HIIT is the best bang for the buck with limited time available.

There's loads of different eating regimes - males anecdotally seem to do well on the 5:2 plan, where they eat 600 cals 2 days per week, and "normally" the other 5 days.

milkjetmum · 22/06/2014 08:17

myfitnesspal is a good app if he's into apps. helps put you in touch with content of foods and says well done when you make good choices, my dh uses it and really likes it. it gives you a projected weight too (if everyday wad like today you will weigh xxx in xxx weeks). you can enter exercise done too.

also agree set targets along the way, eg 5% bodyweight lost, then 10% etc. but ultimately he has to want to do it, a bit like giving up smoking.

HemlockStarglimmer · 22/06/2014 08:24

My similarly sized husband is following a low GI diet after being diagnosed with diabetes very recently. Along with making sure he walks a minimum of 6,000 steps a day. Any shortfall on the steps is made up on the Wii fit at the end of the day.

It's working.

glowstick · 22/06/2014 08:27

I read somewhere losing weight is 80% eating less 20% excersise. In the short term it might be easier to focus on the eating less and then introduce exercise in a month or so.

My Dh lost 2 stone easily following a low carb during the day and no carbs after 5 diet - it was a sort of made up diet but worked for him as he made it up!

Shockers · 22/06/2014 08:30

Swap anything white for whole grain, ditch the diet coke and get a personal trainer to kick start the exercise.

Good luck OP's DH. If you can do it, you'll not only feel fantastic, but you'll be helping your DD.

Shosha1 · 22/06/2014 08:30

I lost 7 stone last year using myfitnesspal, and gentle exercise ( I have Lupus so it had to be gentle)

I stuck to 1200 calories a day and lost it over 8 months.

The first 3 stone came off very quickly and have me the push to lose the rest.

There are some photos on my profile

Shockers · 22/06/2014 09:02

Snacking... almonds are good for staving off hunger pangs. Only a few at a time though, not by the bag!

DeputyPecksBentBeak · 22/06/2014 09:12

He's right about the exercise but wrong in his approach to it--it is worth doing because even 500cal is better than nothing.

What is working for me this time is having a goal. Not just an end weihht goal but an incentive to get there. Obviously being healthy and looking good aren't incentives for me otherwise I wouldn't have got to this stage.

So dp and I have set ourselves a target (a small one at first). If we can lose 1.5st each by the beginning of September we can book a holiday. 1.5st in that time, especially given our starting weight, is easy--if we stick to it. And every time I think about eating something it's very easy to remind myself that I want to go on holiday more than I want that chocolate bar/snack etc. I feel.like I've turned it from being about food vs me (where I always lose because I don't have very high self esteem and convince myself I can't do it) to food vs holiday (and holiday always wins!)
When I hit that 1.5st goal, and I'm going to, I'll be setting a higher goal for the same time frame. When it gets to the end of August I'm going to set a goal for my friends wedding in October. When that's done it'll be a Christmas goal and when Christmas is done it will be just over a month before our holiday so they'll be a goal for that too! After the holiday I'm hoping that all.my previous weight loss will motivate me, but if it doesn't then I might finally plan to get married to dp and make that a goal.

So for me there's two factors, and it might help your dh too. Firstly, break the weight loss down. 8 stone seems insurmountable (it's 7 for me), and it will take a long time to shift, so setting targets will really help. Easy ones at first to help motivate and give him a boost when he hits them. And secondly, a motivating factor. As I mentioned, being healthy and looking good clearly aren't enough otherwise he wouldn't be like this, and it's very hard when you're jn the situation to see how much it's effecting everyone else. So a holiday, or something else he might really want to get him to have a clear goal. And stick to it. If we don't lose the weight and reach our goal then we are not booking our holiday. It'll break my heart but we won't.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page