Please help me with my weight problem - Long post

[carlyb]

I was going to change my nickname for this as I am very embarrased, but have decided I need to be honest!
I am very over weight. I started dieting when I was 18 and I was 11 stone. Gradually over the years as I failed on each diet I have put on more and more weight. I diet - then fall off the wagon big style.

Recently I have realised that I eat for comfort. I am a SAHM and find that I eat all the time - but feel hungry all the time. I am so very happy with my life, I have a lovely son and a wonderful husband - but just seem to feel really miserable.

I have two fronts - the public me, happy, always giving everybody in my life a shoulder to cry on/support, laughing. And then there is the real me. I am very unhappy. I think that I am so fat that maybe soon my heart will just stop. This worries me so much that it keeps me awake at night. I have stopped going out recently. I am really paranoid that I might bump into somebody that I used to know and havent seen since putting on this weight. I wont go to pubs/clubs now and have found I am making less and less effort with my appearence.

How can I shake out of this? I have tried diets - but end up binge eating when I slip up. Does anybody know how I feel and how I can change?
Sorry to go on, but I dont have anybody to tallk to about this. If I talk to my DH I just end up crying and get frustrated. He is really understanding - but has tried helping me - but it doesnt work.
Any help will be appreciated as I think that I am now getting quite depressed.

CD - wanna come to class with me on Wednesday am?

Lots of sympathy from me. I am a terrible binge eater, but I have tried a controlled carb diet (not as strict as Atkins but similar)and had quite a lot of success. If like me you snack in front of TV I have found it helps to keep snacks in which are ok...I snack on olives, chees and low carb choccie. No crisps, white bread, sugar. It's a bummer though, I'm not good at it!!! A list of distractions that you go to when you want to eat is also helpful. Sorry this isn't much good but all I can think of!

I could Willow2 but have joined online which is expensive and I can't really afford the two. Plus am usually working so wouldn't be able to come v often

Are you going to go then?

Carly
Having just joined mumsnet - I would love to know how you are getting on. When I read your post and the answers i realised that I am really not alone in how I am feeling and totally understand where you are coming from. It is very hard to lose this weight. I felt better knowing that others really are in the same boat as me. Perhaps all together we can do it.
Sara