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Weight loss chat

A space to talk openly about weight loss journeys and challenges. Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. You may wish to speak to a medical professional before starting any diet.

Mil constantly commenting on my weight

19 replies

Pandorassoxx00 · 02/06/2014 13:18

I am currently dieting and have so far managed to shift 18lbs, I am still rather big at 5ft 4 and 14 stone but am pleased with my efforts and results so far. Mil knows I am losing weight but every time I see her she loudly comments something like "wow you've gained a few pounds haven't you" then laughs while I stand there mortified...she did this outside the bank this morning when I bumped in to her in the town centre and a lot of people heard.
She's bigger than me but I would never dream of commenting on her weight or anyone else's. Dh knows it upsets me and has said he will have a word with her but I'm not sure I want her to know it bothers me.
I just feel so down about my weight loss today and it makes me want to give in and go back to my old eating habits and little exercise.
It makes me wonder if my weight loss is showing or if she is just being a malicious cow.

OP posts:
Joules68 · 02/06/2014 13:19

I'm guessing your weight loss is starting to show and she's jealous! Smile

Well done on your loss so far!

spottydolphin · 02/06/2014 13:19

say something back!

if she says "you've gained a few pounds" then say "no, i've lost 18lb so far actually"

sounds like she is jealous of how well you are doing

Cocolepew · 02/06/2014 13:20

Tell her to shut her face/go look in a mirror/fuck off/stop with the jealousy
Don't take shit from people, nobody needs to be so rude.

Cocolepew · 02/06/2014 13:20

Well done btw, I'd live to lose 18lbs!

CoteDAzur · 02/06/2014 13:20

A simple "I don't appreciate your comments on my weight" might suffice. Especially if delivered with a hard stare.

OhTheRelief · 02/06/2014 13:21

18lbs is brilliant, well done!
Your mil sounds jealous, or just plain nasty.

If she says anything again, could you reply saying that actually she knows you've lost, and why does she feel the need to be nasty?

ThePowerOfMe · 02/06/2014 13:23

She's being a malicious cow who is probably jealous that you're losing weight and she's not and wants you to feel low.
Next time reply with 'oh so have you! what are we like?' and laugh and walk off leaving her stumped.

Don't let her make you give up! You're doing brilliantly. Keep going :)

theowlwhowasafraidofthedark · 02/06/2014 13:25

She's jealous (as well as nasty). I bet if you make a comment about her weight she'll shut up for good.
Well done on the 18lbs, that's great

throckenholt · 02/06/2014 13:28

Ignore - or say something. Your weight is nothing to do with her.

You should be pleased with what you have achieved - you can probably feel the benefits in how you feel. Don't let anyone put you off.

picnicbasketcase · 02/06/2014 13:32

She is lashing out because if you show that you can lose weight, she will feel pressure to do it too, and she'd rather you stayed the same size in order to reinforce that she doesn't need to lose any.

ExcuseTypos · 02/06/2014 13:41

I'd say "I'd rather you didn't comment on my weight thank you, but as you have, I've lost 18lbs so far, I think I'm doing rather wellSmile"

OnlyLovers · 02/06/2014 13:45

I agree with "I don't appreciate your comments on my weight".

And a hard stare. Grin

BrunoBrookesDinedAlone · 02/06/2014 13:59

She's jealous!!! Grin

There's a really good technique to deal with this kind of thing without looking sensitive/snappy/paranoid etc. You just reply with a sentence which responds to what she's REALLY saying. It's very effective...

MIL: 'Ooh look at you! You've put some weight on!'

You: 'You could easily start this diet too MIL, no need to be daunted by the thought! I'm really enjoying it and I feel so much healthier. I've lost 18lbs and am finding it a real boost. Let me know if you want to join me. I'm sure you'd be really successful!'

RaptorInaPorkPieHat · 02/06/2014 14:06

It makes me wonder if my weight loss is showing or if she is just being a malicious cow

Both Grin

Next time she says "oh you've gained a few pounds" I'd be tempted to say "Mmm...... shame you haven't gained any manners"

Well done on 18lbs Thanks

prawnypoos · 03/06/2014 14:14

Just say to her, 'I'll have you know, I've lost 18lb and there's going to be much more to follow!' She's jealous because you're losing weight and she isn't, so to try and sabotage your good work and put you on the same low ebb as herself she's making shitty little comments.

My MIL is pretty similar. The other week she bought us fish and chips and made me sit there until I had eaten them, funnily enough that was a few days after I had mentioned to her that I was trying to lose some weight. She never buys us dinner!

I would tell you to ignore her but then for me to say that I would need to practise what I preach. Definitely tell her about your achievement so far though! She has no right to publicly humiliate you like that. No right at all.

Next time she says 'blimey, you've put a few pounds in,' just say 'yes and I'm in good company by the looks of things.' Its the least she deserves. She obviously knows she can get away with talking to you like that so give her a shock!

prawnypoos · 03/06/2014 14:17

Also, absolutely loving some of the comebacks on here!! Hahahaha. Hope OP takes heed and uses some

scouseontheinside · 09/06/2014 12:14

Ah Raptor has a good one. Subtle, but makes the point very clear!

I was going to suggest...

MIL: "Ooh you've gained a few pounds!"
OP: "And it looks like you've found them!"

Grin

Well done OP. You are doing a cracking job - keep up the good work!

Cookiepants · 09/06/2014 12:32

It's jealousy. Pure and simple.

18 pounds Shock I would love to lose that much (hopefully I will). Well done OP Thanks

siblingrevelryagain · 10/06/2014 11:20

As amusing as some of the comebacks are, if the OP is anything like me she won't feel able to stoop to her level and be rude back (especially with family members where it might cause tension).

I would imagine your weight loss is showing and so she's deflecting attention away from your success and also away from her need to lose weight (or maybe your DH is proudly telling her when you're losing and she doesn't like it?!). Be confident and strong in knowing that, regardless of what anybody else thinks, says or does, you will just doggedly keep your head down and keep up with the weight loss. Keep chipping away, a pound or so a week (and time off for good behaviour-birthday/holiday etc), and this time next year you'll be near or where you want to be and she'll be wishing she'd started to as she'll still have her mountain to climb.

As a former Weightwatchers leader, and ex long term smoker, I've found that when you publicise losing weight/giving up smoking it makes people with issues themselves uncomfortable and sometimes they lash out-everytime I announced it at work in the past I'd suddenly have people offering me food/fags ("you've done really well/reward yourself, you've got to have little treats/one a day won't hurt.."). When I turned it around another time and said I didn't want to have cake as the doctor told me to reduce my cholesterol, I got lots of support and no attempts to sabotage!

18lbs off will have already had significant impact on your heart, lungs and joints. Even if you or others can't necessarily see a difference yet, inside you're already prolonging your life. And what is often the case is that people lose a stone or two and others don't necessarily notice, then an extra pound or two off suddenly becomes the tipping point and everybody notices.

Keep at it, and don't let the b&£#^%*s get you down x

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