I have got to do something about my weight

[onetwothreewhat]

I've struggled since my early twenties. Actually I always thought I was fat, even as a child, and especially as a teenager I was made to feel like I was grotesque (parental stuff) but I wasn't. It really started when I was in my early twenties. Ten years I've been battling this.

Every time I've lost a few stone I've put it all back on and more. Tried SW, WW, RC, Atkins, cabbage soup, not eating at all and a couple of years ago lost a huge amount on LighterLife. Unfortunately I was severely ill for a few months and as a result fell wildly off the wagon and put it all back on. Tried to go back on it this year and failed. Last time it felt like freedom, this time it felt like a punishment.

My problem isn't knowing what to do. I know what to do. I know fewer calories in and more calories out = weight loss. My problem is I have a horribly unhealthy relationship with food and am diagnosed with coe and binge-eating disorder. I've had loads of therapy and help from GP and it hasn't helped. There's a lot of childhood stuff. Food being hidden around the house that I had to search for, for example. As a 'game'. I've dealt with the trauma and everything but not the lasting effect on my relationship with food.

I want to find a way of eating that doesn't cause me anxiety and self-loathing. I really am at crisis point - I'm starting to not fit easily in the seats at cinemas and theatres and I really want to TTC but I know my weight will make it difficult and could cause problems in pregnancy. Plus I just don't feel strong and fit enough to look after a child! Everything hurts and I am exhausted all the time.

This is really starting to impact my life in a horrible way. It needs sorting. I'm frightened of exercise (I know that sounds ridiculous but it's true, due to some more nasty childhood stuff) but have ordered a Zumba DVD to try and committed to walking to and from the station (just 20 min each way) but I'm at a loss with food. I feel like I've tried everything and don't know what to do now!

This all sounds very dramatic reading it back. Just wondered if anyone out there has any advice.

Hi Onetwothreewhat,

When it comes to fat loss and getting your cardiovascular system into check, there are literally 2 things that you need to take on board and keep on your mind..

Clean Eating

Exercise

The joy of clean eating is that there is such a variety of quality and nutritious food to choose from, it's just knowing what those foods are. My husband is a personal trainer and opened my eyes into a whole new world of food!

The ones to watch out for are sugars and saturates. Fats are still very important but they have to be the good fats such as nuts, seeds, red meats etc!

There are a few great articles on a number of fitness sites that talk you through the different carbohydrates, proteins and fats that are well worth taking a look at!

Water is important too!

I 100% believe you have the ability to achieve your goals!

Hope this helps,
Elle

I recommend the Paul McKenna Freedom From Emotional Eating book and CD. Most of us have extra fat because we eat too fast and therefore too much and we eat when we aren't genuinely hungry to feed emotions. It sounds like you already understand that but PM offers some practice tips to change your relationship with food.

Thank you both for your replies :) JDD I have looked at the Emotional Eating book/CD before and will order it now. I hope it can work for me - yes, practical tips are what I need!

Life I have never known anyone else who had the hidden food thing! It is quite a relief to me to know it at least happened to someone else - not that I would wish it on anyone!

That sounds just like me. I learned from the LL counselling that I had been cast in a 'thief' role around food, which is why eating in secret still appeals to me now - and is definitely my biggest trigger! If DH goes away I think, 'oh great, I can eat myself into a coma' which is not a healthy response!

Life, I am just so pleased to have found someone who actually knows what I'm talking about! Often weight loss talk seems to be geared towards people who just want to lose a stone because they like cake too much...I feel like a freak and that I am the only one with these problems around food! I am glad that I could say something to help you, that makes me feel better too :)

Come and have a read through the Eating Better thread and see what you think. We believe that diets don't work, we are taking a different approach (I believe more or less in line with Paul McK) which involves mindful eating, nourishing ourselves well (body and soul), plenty of great quality, healthy food and learning what works well for our individual bodies and what doesn't...but nothing is banned except guilt. Some posters want to lose weight and are doing so without any sense of deprivation. I am an a Eating Psychology Coach and trying to help where I can (also participating, we all need to practice!), but there are loads of helpful, supportive and sympathetic posters there with me.

One I am very similar to you too. I have spent the last 4 years "trying" to start a VLCD after having lost 5 stone on LL then putting it back on. In my head I think that this is the only way I can lose weight but I can't stick to it and end up just having a binge.

One of my earliest childhood memories is being put on a diet, having a meal replacement at primary school and the dinner ladies being horrified, having "treat" food with my mum to "cheer me up". When DH goes out for his hobby I get a real rush thinking I can eat anything I want and I do (I could do anyway as he is totally not judgemental), it's the secret thing that Life talks about. My attitude to food is completely fucked up.

I've really had enough, I don't want to diet, I don't want my DDs to be like this. I just want to be normal.

I've been reading the Harcombe diet and this makes sense. Tomorrow, I plan on starting phase 1- non processed meat, vegetables, yoghurt. I've also dipped into Paul McK and plan on really thinking about what I'm eating and enjoying it.

There's lots on google about Harcombe if you fancy trying it with me?

I feel healthier when I drink about 6 to 8 glasses of water, have 3 or 4 small to medium meals a day, including at least 5+ fruit / veg a day. I try to have just one treat a day and ideally exercise once too, normally as naturally as possible (e.g., gardening). I like to keep things simple, and this works for me. I hope things sort out for you.

Beat have successfully secured a Department of Health grant to develop our work in the area of overeating and obesity.

This funding is being utilised to establish a network of Emotional Overeating Support Groups in East and West midlands and East Anglia.

The groups, facilitated by trained Beat volunteers, will provide an open and non-judgemental space for peer support between adults who:

• Binge eat
• Compulsively overeat
• Feel they have emotional eating issues
• Are overweight, obese or struggling with their weight

The groups will enable individuals to:

• Meet other people in similar situations and gain peer support
• Discuss their experiences in a safe, confidential and stigma-free environment
• Gain information about resources and services

The groups will not provide therapy, counselling or advice and are open to anyone over the age of 18. No fees, medical referral or weigh-in will be required and individuals can attend groups as often or as seldom as they need. Please go to www.b-eat.co.uk or email [email protected] for more information.