Need help to understand why I seem set on self destruct.

[ineedsomeinspiration]

I could really do with losing 2-3 stone. I have success in the past but since having my ds 2.5 years ago I am stuck. I'm not huge but am unhealthily overweight.
Previously my will power was strong and I lost weight and kept it off. Now I am truly and utterly rubbish. I feel awful about how I look and really miss feeling good about myself. Me and dh hardly ever dtd now. My sex drive seem so have dropped right down. I'm not sure if I'm putting my weight there as a barrier, or if it's creating the barrier. I miss wearing nice clothes (I have a wardrobe full of them).
Everyday I decide to improve my habits and eat sensibly and everyday I fail. At work I'll pack a sensible lunch, eat that before 11 then go to the shop in my lunch break and buy unhealthy treats. At home I snack even when I know I'm not hungry. It's like I can't help myself. I'll be making something knowing I don't need or really want it but do it anyway.
I also have a real tendency to reward/cheer myself up with food.
I think i need to understand what's going on inside my head to enable myself to lose weight but I just don't know where to start. I don't know what's wrong. Please help.

I wish I could help, but just want to say I could have written that almost word for word, so you are not on your own.

I can't begin to tell you what I've stuffed down my neck today, never mind over the last month. I am getting bigger by the day.

Every day I tell myself I'll 'be good' and I've usually ruined that by 10 am.

I am mostly like this but I do have good periods too.
I've noticed that when I can stick to the healthy eating, I've

had enough sleep
had lots of water
haven't had much breakfast (eating breakfast seems to make me want to pick at food all day long. When I skip breakfast or have just a yoghurt, I seem to have more control)
done some exercise
have been out a lot as I don't tend to eat that much when I'm out and about

I also try to think about nutrition and how I need healthy stuff and not sugary crap. Sometimes it work, sometimes it doesn't.

I've also started rewarding myself with Netflix time rather than food.

I've read so many articles on overeating. Some people say its to numb or block feelings of unhappiness but I don't think that applies to me. What about you?

Why do you eat lunch before 11? Are you bored or hungry?

Pack an 11am snack in your lunch box. Something that you'll enjoy as well as being nutritious but not low cal or low fat (fruit, nuts, yoghurt, ryvita/oatcakes with cheese/peanut butter/hummus)

Pack a 'treat' as part of your lunch or an afternoon snack. A homemade cake or a couple of small biscuits or small choc bar. This is so you won't feel deprived. Don't deny yourself anything but don't eat anything in excess.

I don't know why I find it so hard too. I sometimes think I'm just really weak-willed.

I struggle with this too. Have put on a lot of weight over the last few years but as I was v thin to start I haven't yet hit that omg I NEED to do something point, so am just getting bigger and bigger. Agree with ThePowerofMe, and would also add that I am now trying to do my big food shop a day or so before I actually run out of food. As if I don't have the making a of a meal in I justify getting a takeaway or going to the corner shop and buying rubbish. Then that seems to break my healthy cycle and things just spiral for a few days.

I used to be like you - but I've now found a fitness class I love which is affordable. Because I'm exercising a couple of times a week I'm so much more aware of what I'm eating and 8 be got so much more energy and will power. I work really hard at the class and never feel like ruining my hard work with eating crap.

Oh I also do a weekly shop and plan every meal and snack for the whole week and if it's not on the list I don't eat it.