Has anyone lost weight (but more importantly kept it off !) by simply stopping all the diets !?

[ilikebigbutts]

I've just finished reading "Beyond Chocolate" - seen it mentioned a couple of times over the years on MN - and it's really struck a chord with me. In places it is a bit fluffy and not really "me" but so much of what they said had me screaming "yes, yes, that's me".

I'm simply f*cking fed up of counting calories, cutting out carbs/sugar/fat (delete as appropriate), fasting, having green days or red days.....it no longer computes for my wee brain. I want off the diet roundabout....

So my question is this, has anyone maintained a weight loss by giving up all the diets/healthy eating programmes, call them what you will, and simply eating what they actually wanted when they were actually hungry ?

I've been trying it for the last week and it's been a revelation for me. They only thing I'm actively avoiding is the urge to jump on the scales every morning. I'm starting to feel better so don't want to make it all about the weight. Any thoughts ?

I agree with what you are saying Milly about diets being counter productive and making us dysfunctional eaters and also that we should eat when hungry and stop when full and eat whatever we liked. It's very hard to unhook yourself from years of learnt diet approaches - I've got a whole sigh mash of stuff in my head: a bit of weight watchers thinking, and a bit of paul McKenna thinking and some 5:2 fasting stuff Gillian Riley stuff intuitive eating and now I find myself stuck and rebelling against everything and I can't stand to read anymore diet-speak. I'm about a stone heavier than I'd like to be 5ft 7ins and 12st 3/5 lbs
How did a you start doing what you do, Milly and how have you made it a way of life and do you recommend any books etc. Thanks for your help :)

A little gem that I used to spout at my mum when she told me to finish my dinner when I was younger:

It's as wasted in me as it is in the bin.

She could never understand how I could leave food, especially cake or chocolate etc, but I explained that if I ate it just to stop it hanging around that I was treating my body like a dustbin.

If only I had maintained that philosophy instead of getting suckered into the idea of diets I might not be so fat or so messed up about food!

you maintain weighloss by not eating as much as the energy you expend

it is that simple

however the structures we need to enable us to maintain will power are varied - hence all the different ways of doing it

if someone is fat and thinks 'oh i'll diet, only each white food, meal replacements , drink a shake

its hardly rocket science to figure out that that is not a long term strategy that is going to keep you thin -IF you get there in the first place

tbh, if someone is fat and reads a book that says 'just stop all the diets'

they are going to stay fat as its an excuse to stay fat

becuase lets afce it - if you could eat a healthy proportionate diet on a daily basis, you wouldn't need a diet in the first place

No custardo . It's not about calories in calories out etc. People get overweight because they stop instinctive eating . Usually because something or someone has made them feel fat. Then they look for a diet and so begins a lifelong addiction to the thrill of believing that this time it will work. Only when we take back responsibility for our own bodies can we relearn instinctive eating. Ask a natural slim person how they eat. They tell you that they eat when they are hungry and stop when they are full. Why else . To overeat when not hungry is disordered and that is what we need to address. Until the emotional overeating is addressed people will continue to abuse food. Diets are a sticky plaster and do not deal with the real problem.

Millyblods
Sorry but you are kidding yourself.
If you do not have enough to eat you lose weight.
Overweight people can make up all the excuses they like but if they ate a lot less they would no longer be fat.
Not many overweight people in areas with food shortages.

And yes, I am pretty strict with myself about food and exercise.
It would be easy to eat my way back to being an overweight slob
but I have self esteem

my "diet" works a treat, I enjoy wonderful food, sometimes to excess but only put on as much weight as I can easily shift in a couple of weeks of self discipline

I plan to stay this way till I'm 80

I first read about this in Fat Is A Feminist Issue and have tried several times since but think I am so out of touch with my body's needs that I just cannot do it without gaining weight.

I suspect that, if you have dieted on-and-off for years, you will have lost that awareness of what and how much to eat

milly

I did not put on weight due to feeling fat, I have a problem with my metabolism and it seemed to go into overdrive when I had children

I am calorie counting at the moment and it seems to be working but only because I am eating about 800 calories less than a person my size should (ish...not sure how good those TDEE calculators are )

I hope to move into more mindful/instinctive eating if/when I reach my target

Obviously as we all know everyone is different and different things work for different people

if someone is fat and reads a book that says 'just stop all the diets'
they are going to stay fat as its an excuse to stay fat

I doubt there's a book that says don't diet, just keep eating. The point of a non dieting approach is to address and change the unhealthy habits, of which weight gain is a sign.

As for will power - that's one of the big problems with diets. Having to constantly exert will power is unlikely to end successfully and it can result in people thinking about food far too much. If you change your habits around food, you don't need willpower in order to succeed.

Talkingpeace what am I kidding myself about. I am slim. Have maintained my weight for over ten years. I eat whatever I want and stop when satisfied. Love food. I don't ever starve myself or count calories. I do not diet in any shape or form.
So what am I kidding myself about? I have good self esteem too but I would have that no matter what weight I was.

You seem to have a very rude attitude towards overweight people.
Maybe you were actually a nicer person when you were an "overweight slob". Your words not mine.

no, I was a psychotic mare even when I was overweight

milly

That works for you and is great, as I said before I appear to need substantially less calories to lose weight (and I assume though I haven't done it yet to maintain)

For a lot of people it is calories in and out that matter, or reducing carbs or going low fat or thinking carefully about what they put in their mouths

The experiences of people who instinctively eat are welcomed as that will work work for a lot of people as well

Not sure what you are saying here Rufus. I do instinctively eat. That is what I have been doing. I think carefully about what goes in my mouth in that I ask myself if I am hungry and if I am what am I hungry for. Body led calorie control really. I probably don't eat a great deal and sometimes go for long periods without food cause I am just not hungry.

Talkingpeace you made me laught!...

Sorry milly I wasn't referring to what you do yourself

I was referring (in my original post of 18:50) to your comments about why people get fat and struggle on diets

Sorry if I misunderstood, if it works for you it's all good

Anyone interested in eating more mindfully and making sustainable changes to their diet whilst enjoying great food should come and take a look at the Eating Better threads in Food. No diets, 'bad' food or restriction but a mindset of nourishing yourself properly and making conscious choices. Posters on there are at all different points on the spectrum between just starting to make changes and alter their way of thinking about food and body and very healthy eaters. Some great support and recipe ideas. A couple of posters who say they have weight to lose are dropping dress sizes rapidly but it's sort of incidental, rather than the goal of it all.

Hi Sleep...can you possibly link to the thread. Thanks.

Hi Milly, sorry I was on my phone earlier, Eating Better - I'd highly recommend reading through the first one to see where it's all coming from

ilikebigbutts, how is it going?

Hi fascicle - thanks for asking, I could lie seeing as this is all anonymous on here and say it's been going great but it hasn't. I've been feeling a bit up and down since Wednesday of this week (money worries and I am a worrier by nature) so have been turning to food.

I have to be honest and say that for the last part of the week I have not even tried to apply the basic intuitive eating principles. And my God do I feel it ! I went out for power walk on Friday night though and charged along like a woman on a mission for about an hour so I was happy with that. Again I'm trying not to focus on the weight aspect of it but rather think about how my body felt after the exercise - tired (of course) but my muscles were warmed up and stretched, I had colour in my cheeks and I slept really well. When I wake up tomorrow I'm going to think about what I want to actually eat (assuming that I am hungry !) and not go onto autopilot with the porridge or scrambled eggs and toast. I'll sit down and take time with my food and actually try to taste it. The stopping when full part has always been a problem for me so I know I need to try harder with that.

Part of the problem is that everyone seems to be "on a diet" so when you chose to go it alone and eat what you really want, when you really want it, it can be quite a scary concept.

Sorry to hear that you have had things on your mind, ilike.

Your power walk sounds very invigorating and therapeutic - I find exercise to be a great stress buster/head clearer. I always feel better for doing it, even if I might not have wanted to do it in the first place.

It can take a while to break/create habits. Would it help to introduce just one or two changes at first, rather than trying to change too much at once? It was a while ago now that I did something similar to what you're doing, but I remember a couple of things that were useful. One was a delaying tactic to buy me time when I felt the urge to eat when I wasn't hungry. I would tell myself I could have something if I really wanted to, but made myself wait 5-10 mins before doing so, finding a suitable distraction in the meantime. Often the desire to unnecessarily eat would just disappear in that time. But giving myself permission to eat if I still wanted to had the effect of not making me feel that I'd deprived myself, or that I'd had to use any willpower. I had also got into the habit of automatically having two plates of food for dinner. So I stopped after eating the first plate and just considered if I really wanted any more, and if so, how much. By actively giving it some thought, I often found that a spoon/a few spoons was what I really wanted, rather than a whole second plateful.

It is strange at first to get used to the idea that you're using your own system, rather than the rules of a 'known' diet. It can feel like the rules are invisible, and the potential results unquantified. But once you get used to it, you will find that you feel better. And it's a huge achievement, to do your own thing and make sustainable, long term changes.

Thanks for the tips fascicle. Today was much better (considering I started off with a visit to the dentist for a filling and new bridge being fitted !)

But the advantage of this was this I was busy/my mouth was numb and I didn't feel the hunger pangs until around 11am went I sat down to lovely big bowl of porridge and blueberries. Instead of shovelling it in thinking, "it's breakfast time and this is a healthy breakfast so I better eat it" I sat and actually tasted it and enjoyed it. I wasn't hungry again until around 5.30pm when I was feeding everyone else and I had a salmon, tomato and courgette omlette. I feel satisfied, not full or stuffed, which makes a pleasant change. I doubt I will be hungry again this evening so might just have a cuppa later once the kids are down.

The serial dieter in me is thinking that I should be working out the calorie content of what I've eaten today (and I'm sure on paper that it wouldn't look very much) but I know that I literally need to listen to my gut.

Do you weigh yourself at all since you've been eating this way ? It's a habit I need to get out of.

Don't weigh yourself! Get someone to hide, or preferably get rid of the scales altogether, all it does is ruin a good mood and worsen a bad one . You know how you feel in terms of energy, mood, strength, you also know how your clothes feel, you don't need an arbitrary number attached to it

Too true Sleepwhendie - sometimes I think the scales are a bigger temptation to me than bloody chocolate !

I know, its a compulsion, no doubt about it!

The serial dieter in me is thinking that I should be working out the calorie content of what I've eaten today

Trust the process. If you can get into the habit of eating when you're hungry, in moderation without depriving yourself, then the urge to comfort eat/overeat should reduce/disappear, along with additional calorie intake. What you're doing will make a difference.

I do weigh myself from time to time, out of curiosity and because there happen to be some scales in the house (if they weren't already here, I wouldn't bother to buy some). My weight has stayed within a range of a few lbs for the last 7 years, so I'm never surprised by the readings. That said, I agree that scales can be evil things! (I can think of other similar situations, where you feel you're doing really well, and then the stats tell you something that's not in keeping with how you feel - so demoralising and often better not to have looked at the numbers in the first place.)

Glad you had a better day, despite the dentist.

fascicle - all good advice, especially about the delaying your gratification.

I'm on a bit of a weight loss mission without 'going on a diet', too. Like you I'm trying to consciously listen to the signals my body's giving me. I was 12/6 and am now 11/13, in 30 days. I was 13 stone 3 years ago! I completely agree with the 'ban the scales' but I so lacked confidence in my ability to trust my body that I, personally need them as a prop just to make sure I'm on the right track! As stated, I've only been mindfully eating for 30 days so very early days, yet, so god knows I'm no expert!

I also refuse to use the words 'good and bad' either about myself ("I've been good today, I only ate...") and food ("chocolate is a bad food..."). They're just food and I'm just eating it. Some delivers better nutrition that others; some is a lot more fun to eat that others.

So I need to understand what's in various foods, so as to avoid tucking into something that delivers more energy that I need when something less calorific would have satisfied me just as much (more or less- of course I'd rather eat a bar of chocolate than a carrot; however, my new mindset 'allows' me to eat chocolate- but if I eat it really mindfully, 2 squares and I'm satisfied enough).

I eat dessert- but a careful spoonful at a time.

Yes, of course I carry the baggage and mash-ups of advice all women over the age of 20 who've ever had body or weight issues do; sometimes I do have to chant to myself that Kate Moss anthem "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels" and, as I said before, I do use scales!

I'm hoping to ditch the need to weigh regularly once I feel more established in my new woe.

Anyway, best of luck, and- one day at a time!