Thanks Sparkly, and well done you on keeping it off!
We all generally know what we need to do to be healthy/fit/be the right weight etc. The trouble is actually doing it.
I don't re-gain weight because I haven't learnt new habits or I don't know what/how to eat well. I re-gain because I like food, and I like to eat. I eat healthily but I allow myself too many treats and eat large portions - because I enjoy both. And I don't particularly enjoy exercise. I do it, sometimes I like it, and I feel smug afterwards, but generally there are about 156 things I'd rather spend my limited spare time doing. So I have to push myself to go, and sometimes, I just CBA.
But what I am feeling lately is that I'd rather feel like I look ok in the mornings before I leave for work, not cringe as I pass the mirror, not try a thousand outfits on before I find one that actually fits, than satisfy my food desires/cravings. I think I really would (at this age and after this amount of yo-yoing) rather feel a bit dissatisfied after meals/snacks than feel shite ever time I look at myself.
I enjoy healthy food, but I really would like to eat whatever I want! Which I obviously can't do. I'm at the point of accepting it's kind of one or the other (for me anyway). Yeah I can have the odd sugary thing/treat/whatever but I cannot have whatever I want, and be slim. Not possible. Something has to give. And I've accepted it's the food. For all the reasons I wrote earlier. So it's a kind of battle that I'll just have to keep going with, and kind of accept that it may well always feel like a bit of a battle. Ho hum.