Star, I think we are in a bit of a similar place. I lost 6 stone between August 2012 and October 2013. Having hit my goal weight I struggled with maintaining for the first couple of months - gain a couple of pounds one week, lose them the next. And then, at the start of December, it was like someone had flicked a switch and I couldn't stop myself eating, to the point of feeling really quite ill some days. Between the start of December and the first week of January I gained a stone and a half. I know so well that out of control feeling. In my case I think a lot of it is physical addiction and deeply engrained habits.
So two weeks ago I made a determined effort and managed to get back in control, with reasonable eating. Don't ask me how I did it, because I don't know. It just sort of happened with the return to work and the re-establishment of some routines from my year of successful weight loss. But thinking about it, I don't know what was the psychological trick I played if any to get there. All I know is that the switch flicked back off again.
I'm pretty worried now about having lost control so badly, in case it happens again. I've yo-yo dieted since childhood 40 years ago, and I just don't want to go back there. I thought I'd kicked the old habits with a long-term sustainable plan best summed up as eating less and moving more, but losing the plot so completely in December has me thinking I need something more/different. So I decided to have a go at 5:2 and I'm going to see if this will help me establish good eating habits long-term. So far I've lost half a stone (well, as of last Wednesday when I last weighed myself, hopefully more by now). I know that a lot of that will be water as my body de-toxes from its carb overdose, but it's a good start.
And I couldn't agree more. You're not a failure, you are human, and you're going to survive till the end of the day. It's hard, though, isn't it? I don't think anyone who's never been significantly overweight and has never struggled with yo-yo dieting can ever properly get it.