Emotional eater needs a buddy

[Flumpwobble]

I've spent years yoyo dieting, lost 5 stone this year in the run up to my wedding which was in Sept, have put almost 2 stone back on since then

It's hard when people just think you're being greedy when in reality all I want to do is hide away and eat until I've numbed myself with food. I really need someone to kick me up the arse when the urge to binge comes over me, or keep me motivated when I've done well. Likewise I will do the same for you!

Thanks and wishing everyone good luck x

Hi,

Well done for reaching out. What I have learned recently, is that there are a lot of us using food to numb emotions. It can feel shameful, secretive, greedy, yet the urge can be overwhelming. I have done it for years without realising that was what I was doing.

Do you have any other interests, anything you enjoy doing (apart from eating)?

xx

Thanks hurried. I like cooking hahah, not the best hobby really! Popped to the shops today to get a few bits then sat in the car park eating two cream cakes so I could keep it secret from DH...not good. I didn't even really enjoy the bloomin things, I was stuffing them down so fast! But tomorrow is another day.

Have you found any good techniques for dealing with emotional eating? x

Well done to you for losing so much weight. It takes lots of self perseverance to come this far. I found it hard even to lose 1 stone. I stay to my self not to use the word diet but just have the occasional treat now and then. It's very easy to use food as a comfort which I always tend to do. I can almost eat a whole cheesecake by myself when i'm feeling down. What I've learnt is portion size so I try and cut down on the amount I eat not the kind of food . I think life is too short to worry about dieting. we all deserve the occasional treat. And then eat more fruits and veg the next time to compensate and feel fitter.

Hi Flumpwobble,

I dob't think cooking is a bad hobby! I really relate to all you say (I am not sure if you saw but I posted on this board on binge eating), and I received some fantastic advice. Actually, one lady actively encouraged me to embrace cooking and that has been helpful. Times when I am in the kitchen any way, it has been helpful to enjoy preparing healthy, hearty food (i.e. if I were making cakes it would be harder, but making something hearty and nutritious, it didn't matter if I picked a bit of pepper or little bit of cheese (to me)).

I know for me, when I have the craving to eat I am very stubborn and food feels like the best thing in the world at the time- which of course it isn't, my family etc are the best things in the world to me, but when I reach a certain state, food becomes the answer.

I think we are all different, from what I have been reading, for me, I use food as a pick me up, to give me a high. I love food, all food, and get a bit of a high off carbs, so I limit them in the house - or only allow myself access to a moderate amount, i.e. not the whole loaf of bread (bread for some reason, is a nemesis for me). However, others advise against this as they say it leads to eating more, but for me, at this point in time, it works - and it may be the other way round for you. Please do read the previous thread as so many kind people offered sound advice and they are much better informed than me.

I think the biggest thing is exploring alternative things to do- that aren't eating. Keeping busy. SO recognising the times a binge eat, btw I always thought I ate due to emotions or over tiredness, but noticed I always binged on the day of the week my LO and I were at home alone together. So recognising that has been helpful. I notice if I'm feeling really happy or excited about something i don't turn to food, I don't even think about it unless I'm gruel hungry!

Another poster recommended I take up doing things for me, this has been so helpful- as I said please read the thread as `i received some really great advise but I don't want to tell you too much what has helped for me as I think it' very personal and I wouldn't want to misadvise you.

Your original post did state you wanted an emotional eating buddy... :-) so I'm always here. You're not alone and it's just working out how you can help yourself.xx

Hi Flump, here is Hurried's thread and here is another similar one. Have a read, see if there is anything useful there. If nothing else they will prove to you that you are far from alone . I'd be happy to chat too and try and help if you want to.

Hurried how are you? I have been thinking about you, how are you getting on?

Can I pop in to say that Sleep gives great advice! You'll see me on those two threads, I would be happy to chat. I got married in September too and have put on a stone since then...

I have started seeing a counsellor and I think it is helping, perhaps it might help you as well.

And, I love cooking too! My therapy chap says there is no link between what I like to cook though (nice, from scratch, lots of veg and a bit of baking) to what I binge on (utter utter crap from the garage). It's not to do with the food but the feeling I think.

Another emotional eater popping out of the closet in solidarity here.

Things I have found helpful:

Go to your GP. This grinding unhappiness and hiding from reality and needing to numb yourself has a name. It's called depression. It is not normal to feel like this for so long and to such an extent. I have found CBT utterly life-changing.

Identify the feeling. Are you hungry? Sometimes - especially if we have a disfunctional relationship with food - we misinterpret our bodily sensations. Have a drink first. Something refreshing, like cold water or a cup of tea, not something very sweet. If you still want to eat, go ahead.

If you eat something and are still hungry, then you were not physically hungry. You were emotionally hungry. What can you give yourself? What would please you? A bubble bath? (This is a big treat for me.) A change of activity? A promise to yourself that you will watch Strictly tonight? A phone call to a friend?

Try to eat mindfully. Really really enjoy that cream cake. Look at it, smell it, taste the different flavours, feel the sensation on your lips, teeth, tongue, throat. Squeeze every drop of enjoyment from it. The result is often that you eat a fraction of what you otherwise would, and feel even better. You don't need to do this with everything you eat. Try doing it once a day, or even every other day. Anything you eat will do, whether its a secret binge or dinner with dh, whether its a large amount or a single olive.

Try drastically cutting down on carbs. If you binge on carbs and have been obese then you are likely to have impaired insulin response. Meaning that you are vulnerable to huge swings as your blood sugar rockets and plummets. The lows make you feel really miserable, which is one reason why the binges make you feel better. If you van reduce the huge fluctuations in your blood sugar and hence insulin, you will reduce the urge to binge.

HTH

ps. I also love cooking.

Another thing:

Eat before you go shopping. If you are not hungry you are far less likely to binge out of habit.

Hi Flump how are you doing? Did you read through the other threads? Anything there that resonated with you?