How do I know what size I should aim for

[Rockingthestocking]

Hello everyone! I have been lurking for a while now and am loving the support you all give each other and think I need a bit of that!
I really would be interested in knowing how you all decide what weight is right for you? I'm not even sure that weight is the right word to use! Do you go by BMI, or clothes size, or weight/ height ratio, or how you feel in yourself? Some people can be size 10s and feel fat, others can wear a much bigger size but feel happy and healthy and beautiful (and rightly so!). I have weighed between 21 stone and 10 stone over the last decade so my body image is completely screwed. I would love to gain an insight into how you decide on a goal weight and then perhaps I can decide on my goal weight and take the next steps to reach it and stay there.
Thanks very much

I'm 5'8" and weigh 17st-ish. I'd like to weigh 12st. Even though it's officially overweight from a bmi view. But about ten years ago, I got my weight down to 12.5st and I felt fantastic so12 is my goal

So for you it's how you feel that gives you a goal weight. That must be more more motivational than a number on a piece of paper iykwim. It's more personal. But even at my slimmest of 10 stone I never felt fantastic ...just not as fat. I'm 5 ft 7 and about 13 stone now and just don't know if that's acceptable or not. I wear size 16 or 18 clothes. I cycle 6 miles a day to work and back so feel quite fit. But should I be aiming for 9,10,11 or 12 stone or just be content now?

I think weight is the wrong measure - maybe body fat would be better as weight varies so much as recent threads would show - someone can be size 12 and 5'8" and weigh 9 stones or 12..

I think your comment about never feeling fantastic at 10 stone is quite telling - why did you not - what was "wrong" as it would sound quite good to me!

Maybe take mind of the final goal and start the jouney to getting slimmer and see how you feel each month or so?

There is no 'one size fits all answer' (no pun intended ).

If you are asking the question then you probably don't feel you are at the right weight.

I am the same height as you and weigh about 14 stone - don't know for sure as I am too nervous to weigh myself. I feel best at around 11 stone, which makes me a size 12/14.

I did get down to just over 10 stone once but there was no way I could maintain that weight.

This might be more to do with your own self esteem, if you got to 10 stone that would have been a fantastic achievement and you should be very proud of yourself. I am proud of myself if I get to 11 stone. Of course that doesn't mean I look like a model but I am very happy with my image, to be honest I am not that worried about being overweight, it is for health reasons that I need to lose some of the weight.

I go by BMI as it's easy to calculate (cf with body fat) but as far as "healthy" is concerned I've read that you should be going by body fat % and waist circumferance. My BMI target is 21 (just 1 point to go!).

I think you're right ragwort...there is no one size fits all. I think because I have always gone up & down in size I am just fed up with not knowing where I should be and I guess I shouldn't be looking for an answer in stones or kg as it doesn't necessarily work like that. I seem to have plateaued at my current weight and I wonder if I should strive to lose more and deprive myself or just be content. I think my bmi is around. 28/29 so that would suggest I do need to lose weight. That and the massive wobbly stomach I have of course! Ha! How do you find out body fat %? Not sure I've got the nerve to find that out though!

I had a lot of goal weights in the year and a bit it took me to reach what I eventually decided was my ultimate goal. I started at 15 stone 2 with a vague aspiration that I'd like to get somewhere near to 11 stone which is where all my previous weight loss attempts had plateaued, and lower if I could manage it. My real target was to be able to go for long hill walks, and the numbers on the scales were a tangible and quantifiable way of measuring progress towards that. I set weight loss targets each month, and because I'm motivated by exceeding targets, I made them well within what I could do. (I know others are motivated by setting really challenging targets even if they can't reach them, but I'm not.) As the monthly targets came and went, I gradually settled on my eventual one, 9 stone 2, because a) it was a nice round 6-stone loss, b) it seemed achievable, c) as I got nearer to it I realised that my levels of fitness and energy were what I wanted them to be, and d) it means there is clear blue water between me and 9 and a half stone which is the marker I want to keep an eye on - my long-term aim is to keep tabs on my weight, and take action if I go above that. I did consider keeping going on a weight-loss rather than maintenance plan for the thrill of being 8-stone-something, but something about being the weight I am now just 'feels' right. I can't explain it, but I know I'm happy and healthy with my current weight and can't see the point of trying to lose any more just for the sake of a number on the scales. I haven't measured body fat % (like Rocking I don't even know how to) - but I can walk for miles on the hills without getting tired which was what I wanted to be able to do. I was definitely chuffed when my BMI went first from obese to overweight, and then to normal, but it was pretty much a side-show and not the main event.

Rocking the most accurate way of measuring BF is via a body pod thing which very few of us have £s for or access to. Other people use the less accurate BF scales or an online calculator eg US Navy one. But if you have a "massive wobbly stomach" then that's what I'd be focussing on to be honest. Fat around the belly is apparently the most dangerous and a key predictor of future ill health - it points to dangerous viseral fat that cushions the internal organs. My fat tummy has been the last thing to reduce unfortunately but I'm going to continue to try and lose weight until it gets to a healthy 31 inches.

*visceral

please forget labels in knickers - no standards and random. No indicator at all.

BMI is a range, not one number, so somewhere near that is a good idea.

and please get some help - this level of yo-yoing is incredibly damaging. Good luck.

The scales in Boots give you your height and weight, calculate your BMI and tell you your body fat percentage, all for 50p! They're quite good fun to stand on, there are flashing lights and buttons to press, and they give you a print out of your results. I put them into here and it came up with some alarming figures and then the BMI range which is much more forgiving! I'm 5' 7" as well. I've just slimmed down to 11 13lb. The last time I felt slim I was 11 8lb, my max BMI is 11 5lb. I'm going to aim for nearer 11stone just to give myself some leeway. I might go lower, I'll see how it goes. As long as I'm within the healthy weight range I'll be delighted, I think I started at 14 or 15 stone

Clarinet that is such a good idea. Monthly goals seem more achieveable and you sound like you've done so well. Quite inspirational. Thank you for sharing all your tips.
I am forgetting knickers size ( but not the knickers! ) and think I will focus on exercise as if I do have damaging fat then this will be a healthy way to start to address it and feel healthier. I started cycling last year and made it up a mountain ( well very steep hill) in the mendips in the summer which is something I haven't done for years. Not sure where to go for help maybe doctors? But I think concentrating on exercise will help and release those happy chemicals to boost self esteem too.

I think I would have the fear of scales in boots....I can just imagine sirens going off and it shouting out my measurements to all in the shop! Congrats on your weight loss . Maybe if I pluck the guts up I'll get on those boots scales and get to 11 stone too!

I've not weighed myself in 3 and a half years until today due to scale fear! I actually quite enjoyed it. It's a very discrete little slip of paper and it doesn't announce anything out loud. I think you need to take your shoes off for the fat percentage to work but I went for the stealth, speed weigh, boots on and weighed them when I got home . Next time I'll wear slip ons and give the fat percentage another try. Thank you for the congrats. There are some amazing success stories on here, such as Clarinet, they inspired me to face the scales today after 6.5 months of dieting in denial.