DP piling on weight working away, its doing my head in.

[Piffle]

Dp works away 5 days per week, that is not going to change for at least 8 weeksHe boards with a lady from work who eats out, has tiny fridge and a plug in griddle pan.
No oven but a microwave
DP loves takeaways, he eats a LOT
He is 5ft 8 and weighs now 90kgs
He has put on 5kgs in 4 weeks of being away full time.
At home I/we eat very healthily, he never complains loves what I cook.
When I saw him naked last week, his chest area has big man boobs, his whole frontage is really dimpled and flabby looking.
I know if I were to say something to this end it would hurt him, I also think it would make him change.
Add to that he drinks beer most nights...
I have encouraged him to buy bagged salad, fresh pasta and sauce, covent garden soups, cereal etc from supermarket for dinner. He also eats cooked lunch at work.
He has no self control around food - his mother always makes him eat what is leftover when we eat there, FFS he is 36 and then in the other breath she says how fat he is.
Don't get me wrong, I still fancy and love him
But the lack of self control and the not caring about his health and physique is really pising me off.
Should I mainline with the hurtful truth or try harder at the nice encouragement way
Sorry this post is way too long, partly a vent, no way can I talk to any friends or family about this.

Difficult one to deal with. My DH is also putting on weight he is 6ft 4 and weighs in at 17stone. I tell him blunt that he is putting on weight as he is quick to condem me for not losing the baby weight yet. DH lives for fried food which is someting i dont like. More difficult when away form home. If you think the shock treatment woul work then go for it. Could you make some food to store in the fridge for him?

He rides a motorcycle to his job 250 miles away so no way can he take food. Otherwise I would do it.
I've offered to do him a Sainsburys to You order to his boarders house.
I lost a 1.5 stone since having dd 3.8 yrs ago, using weightwatchers and GI and have chaged the way we eat a lot. We did it together dp when with us, lost 2 stone went from 15 to 13 stone (we now have kg scales) he is just back over 14 stone now.
He just seems not to care

another tack could be that he is depressed re living away from home, his job, comfort eating. I like that idea of shopping ot the door as you can get the ready made weightwatchers meals etc. Is it definate that he will be back in 8 weeks.

Yes, he will still be away but only for a day or two at a time - so eaier to keep a hold off.
I have urged him to get the steam micro meals from saisnburys etc.
He does not like being away from home I know that, he's not depressed, he said the other night he was good having steak and salad but then had 6 pints...
d'oh

we could be muti millionaires if we developed fat free beer

I know!
Thing is I am on the wagon except weekends, but now I feel like I should not drink weekends now to try to prevent him from drinking too.
I think I might be quite blunt with on second thoughts.
I could tell him no sex til he is 13 stone again I guess

lol mine dh smokes cigars and there is a sex embargo on in this house till he gives up. certainlt appears to less cigar butts ib his shed

Piffle, don't suppose with DH being away during the week you get chance to get out and do some excercise at the weekend?

I have the same problem with DH - he's really piled on the weight but I don't want to upset him by being blunt. He really wouldn't speak to me again. Like you Piffle, we eat quite healthily but he really does drink too much. He occasionally works away from home and from what i can gather sits in his hotel room with room service burger smoking (he doesn't smoke at home) and drinking. Recently I have tried saying things about his parents and brother (who are really massive) about how it wouldn't be fair to inflict that on our children, worrying them about our health. He agrees but then goes and drinks more beer and wine. Really love him to bits but his health is worrying me. Am wondering if it's a depression thing.
Anyway, Piffle, hopefully once your DP isn't working away anymore he'll settle back into a routine of healthy eating.

He is always too tired from the week away working to head out for much exercise
I have asked him about joining a gym that has branches near us up here and near where he works
He used to be rugby player at quite high level, so he is big framed, but it all turns to flab pretty quickly.
He lacks the desire and if he tried at least I would feel better
But he laughs about his "transgressions" as if a 12 yr old boy trying to outwit his mother
So I know it goes deeper than hjust being greedy, its like part of him, ooh she is not watching I'll get what I want...

...or may be he's just bored when he's away? I'm sure he doesn't do it to annoy you. Is the woman he stays with big? May be her favourite pass time is eating and she's leading him astray? Even with the best intentions it's hard to say "no" when temptation is put infront of you. Either way, your DP'll start to eat sensibly again when he's back under your watchful eye!
We have the same problem with excercise - shattered from working all week and never seem to find the time.

no she is 60 and eats out a lot or at her daughters house, she cannot cook and has no oven! Just microwave and plug in fry/grill plate.
Dp is staying in the pub this week and next - as ladys house is having new bathrooms installed.
I know he does not do it deliberately but why does he not see the same thing in the mirror that I see, he cannot be happy, he is always saying how fat he is, yet shows no discipline at all
It frustrates me, I mean I'm his wife to be not his bloody mother, I have two kids already!

I know it's difficult when you make an effort to lose weight and he doesn't seem bothered.You'll just have to see how it goes once he's back at home for good. It's difficult being away from home - food may be the only familiar thing. (Not trying to make excuses for him)