I need help please

[MissStrawberry]

Just the thought of starting this thread has made me have an anxiety attack.

I have lost 1 of the 3 stone I need to lose. I am now over weight instead of obese. I am losing nothing at the moment and have become food obsessed while not feeling hungry but eating because I know I have too. On the other hand if I decide I want something to eat and don't think I am going to get it I panic.

I tried fat metaboliser tablets from H&B as I felt my weight loss had stopped and I needed something to kick start it again. I had a tough week and lost 2lbs but have put 4lbs back on since then.

Did 54 minutes of exercise with the Wii yesterday but nothing today as I have been busy all day plus the back of my legs are killing.

I must lose this weight as it will only get worse as I get older and my female family were all obese so it wouldn't take much for me to get out of control.

I have never felt like I can't tell if I am hungry or not before so that is freaking me out a bit.

I am shattered, low and fat and I really don't want to be.

I don't know what to do. I lost a stone in about 3 months and then just the same few pounds have gone off and on for about 6 months.

I don't want to be fat any more.

I really think the point here is that you're obsessing about food all the time, and that it's taken over your life. Food should be something you eat to keep your body healthy and working, not something that you think about all the time and that has all these emotional attachments (good / bad foods, being 'naughty' etc).

MissS I think a sensible starting point would be for you to get some help getting to grips with the problem, whatever it is, that food is becoming a symptom of. Is it self-worth / low self-esteem at the bottom of it all? (I only say this as I recognise so much of what you say and remember how it felt so clearly). If so, finding help with that is the key here - hypnotherapy, psychotherapy, counselling etc will help you deal with that and then you'll quickly see that food is just the symptom, not the problem.

In the meantime I would focus on eating as much fresh fruit and veg as you can, reduce the amount of processed / baked goods etc you eat and try to eat foods as close as possible to their natural state. When you remove the fear / emotional stuff from the equation you realise that food is just food, and the weight will fall off you when you're happy and not thinking about food all the time. You need to fill your days with other more positive things - hobbies, exercise, interests, positive people. Live your life, and let food just be a small part of it, not the central hub of it all.

Food is one of the hardest 'addictions' to beat. I remember saying when I was bulimic that it would be easier to give up alcohol or heroin or cigarettes because you can just avoid them, but with food you have to have it, and can't just remove it from your life. It's like telling a heroin addict they have to just have 3 hits a day. But the point is that it's an addiction that you're using (I mean 'one' is using) to self-medicate and try to fill a hole inside. It doesn't work. Nothing can fill that hole other than learning to like and love yourself.

When I was bulimic I thought about food all the time. ALL the time. I thought about what I could eat, would eat, wouldn't eat, might cook, would cook for others.... It was always on my mind. It sounds very familiar, reading your posts. I am not a doctor or a specialist at all but I think you might want to chat to someone about eating disorders rather than thinking about this in terms of diets / weight loss. I don't mean to sound dramatic but as someone who's been there it sounds very much to me like that is what you need to address.

I hope this helps x

Sounds like some good advice from Pyro! Nothing wrong with getting educated about food (if that is what you are currently doing), but it is just one part of a bigger picture.

Wow, that is all very huge and also very true.

I have always said I had food issues. I never had any control over eating as a child and had to wait until offered to the point of feeling really hungry and not feeling able to ask for something, but I have been shopping for myself for the last 20 years now so should be over that. I had self control when getting married as I didn't want the shame of not fitting into my dress. I ate well when expecting my first baby and was able to lose the weight after him and then my daughter. Obviously I am older now and have another two stone to lose. I love to cook and want my children to have a good variety of foods.

I have food coming tomorrow and have ordered soup ingredients, prawns, cottage cheese and porridge.

Today I had rice crispies for breakfast and lunch was salad leaves, tomatoes, chicken, 1cm piece of cheese and 6 olives. Oh and a home made olive muffin.

If I can get the energy I will make soup for dinner and if not I will have salad and chicken again.

Had a little battle with myself before tea but just had salad, chicken and balsamic vinegar in a wrap and it was delicious. Yum. This is early for me to eat dinner but will see how I go. The panicky feelings about not being able to eat/shouldn't eat aren't getting any better but I will try and find a way to deal with them. I really appreciate all of your advice and ideas. Thank you.

BTW- don't think you need to exist off salads. I mention them as I find them v easy, but also have stuff like steak with whole load of veg, or a massive bowlful of mussels (really low cal, although I realise not everyone's cup of tea!) Shellfish great for making you feeling like you having a big plateful if you serve with shells on. I do eat roast dinners etc, just don't eat potatoes. And I have cake/couple of biscuits every other day or so- I find I can maintain my weight fine by eating healthily the majority of the time, and doing some sort of exercise 5/6 days a week. Enough to burn off 3/400 calls as a minimum, which seems to keep me steady.

I ended up having 2 wraps with salad, chicken and balsamic vinegar but haven't eaten for about 2 hours and atm I feel okay. Don't feel I need to eat. Bored with just drinking water but I know coke is bad and I have nothing else in at the moment. I'm not a tea/coffee drinker and used to just drink water, lemonade, coke and occasionally milk but lately I have just had water with one can of coke a day. I stopped the coke about a week ago now.

I have ordered new potatoes as I love those with salad and also some prawns and cottage cheese. Will need to get some fruit as completely forgot that except for bananas.

I like mussels but haven't eaten them since I bought some from Sainsbury's and DH, DS and I were all ill from them.

I will be making soup tomorrow and have ingredients for at least 2 types and usually I get about 4 portions each time I make it.

Thanks again for your help.

Still eating healthily. Not thinking obsessively about food any more. Don't feel cheated. No interest in eating crisps, chocolate, toast. Lost 1.2lbs .

Yey!

Thanks to you giving me the food help I needed.