I really really really need to lose two stone. Physically I don't look bad. I'm a 14-16 and look ok. However, mentally I'm a mess courtesy of a bad childhood. We never had much growing up and food was scarce and I'm starting to wonder if that's where my food issues started. Also, because my childhood was hideous what food there was became a comfort. I now find myself either eating well or nothing at all. I'm a woman of extremes. I cook everything from scratch and we hardly ever eat junk or eat out as I don't trust restaurant food. All summer I walk and exercise then every autumn I fall into despair.
Only this time the despair is deeper and darker. I can't talk to anyone in RL as I can't bear to burden those I love, apart from Dh who is amazing. So, tomorrow is a big day for me. It's a step back towards controlling my life and to end the self loathing. Walking has always been my saviour. I've walked my way out of Pnd and depression many times. It would mean a lot if someone could support me on my journey back to good physical and mental health.
In the past I've jumped right in with 3 hours walking a day, this time I want to go slow and steady. I'm hoping once my mental health improves the pounds will drop off too. If you have any positivity to share with someone who has reached the bottom then I would be delighted!