I always sabotage myself, always,

[whimsicalmess]

Self indulgent post.
I've been big since teen years, always hated it and hated the way it made people react to me especially, I've always wanted to wear nice things but I'm just too disgusting

I'm getting married and desperately need to loose weight, but I always sabotage myself, I will exercise discipline for a certain time . hours, days weeks etc and then just binge and feel so guilty afterwards and feel filled with the realisation I will a hideous disgusting animal forever ..but I can change this, but my mind doesn't seem to want to let me.

I mean I completely abstained for fags n drink during pregnancy so I can excercise some self control but thus is different.

I feel destined to be fat forever I really do.

You can do this!

Your wedding is a great incentive. How much time do you have and how much do you need to lose?

loads more than 5 stone. I know that's the issue its like my body doesn't want me too succeed whilst simultaneously knowing its completely my fault.

You can do it! There's lots of women on here that have shed 2-3 stone in relatively short periods of time :) don't worry. Now you have addressed the issue do you think a club might help keep you on track?

Tackle one stone at a time :)

I have ( had) 5 stone to lose. Since nov I've lost 2 1/2

Low carbing
Shred
Walking
C25k
It can be done

I need to address why I do it though I don't honestly I think it must be quite complex. Whats c25k?

Possibly hopefully it will

First of all you are not disgusting, and thinking that you are is not a productive use of your time and energy

Do you keep a food diary? I think it would be worth doing so, noting times and moods too. Clearly you are aware that you are prone to bingeing, either regularly or from time to time, and the best thing you could do would be to work out what your triggers are (tiredness, stress, boredom, getting too hungry, excessively cutting calories for a long time, etc). This can help you put strategies in place for the next time you feel the urge to binge. Turn the negative behaviour into a positive by better understanding why and how you react to situations in this way. There is a book called 'overcoming binge eating' by c. Fairburn, which give extensive details of how best to do this, if you're up for his kind of thing.

Also, why should one binge (or even several) mean all your hard work has gone to waste? It's hard I know, but you can try to acknowledge the fact that you went off-plan in a way you're not happy with, move on and get back on the wagon without beating yourself up so muh.

I know this is all easier said than done, and when your inner gollum gets the better of your smeagol it's very very hard to behave in the way you know is more healthy, but you can do it, I promise

I'm going to try the food diary that's a good idea,

I'll have a look for that book,

thanks for all the replies

Have a look at MFP ( my fitness pal) it's a very good resource.

C25k is a running programme building up from running one minute to thirty.... In 9 weeks! It's fab, and has kept me motivated

I agree, my fitness pal has helped me lose 12.6 pounds since 03rd march, it really makes you think about what you are eating

Whim in exactly the same

I have 5-6 stone to lose and I just can't do it. I can't even lose one stone! I'm useless

You aren't useless at all! Losing weight is very hard if like me food is an integral part of your life.

It's very difficult to change habits we have spent so long nursing