When dieting do you allow yourself a "treat"

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Am about 3 stone heavier than I should be and miserable. Dc2 born on November and I have decided that now is time to get back into exercise and healthy eating. However - and I know this sounds awful - because we don't get to go out much I really look forward to a weekend takeout and wine. DH is adamant that if I am "doing it properly" then no treats are allowed - so I am putting it to mumsnet jury do you allow yourself a treat or is it classed as falling off wagon?

If I didn't have regular treats then I would have fallen off the dieting wagon months ago. They make me feel human and happy and more importantly they keep me on the straight and narrow overall. I use MyFitnessPal to log everything I eat so I can see that if I've overdone a meal or a day's eating I can readjust at the next meal or day. It's worked for me (47lbs down). I've also just started the 5:2 fasting way of eating and this is re-educating my palette and appetite. I find myself craving less healthy food less now. But I still have treats. Life is hard without them.

With WW I get 26 points every day and then an extra 49 for the whole week. I only use 26 Mon - Fri then blow all 49 on Fri/sat. I started at 15.7. I am now 10.12.
Your OH is wrong. If you don't have any treats you'll just put the weight back on when you start eating normally again.

And you'll give up more easily! I also have a creme egg every week- 5 points!

I subscribe to the 80/20 theory.

Be mindful/careful/religious about your calorie counting- whatever- for 80% of the time, be less careful but always 'aware' for the other 20%.

But it's really important that you are careful for 80% and don't have a 'proper' eating disorder to derail the 20% by which I mean- if you're the type who cannot eat one or 2 biscuits but absolutely has to finish the packet, the box of chocolate, the 2 litre tub of ice cream then no, you cannot 'not worry' for 20% of the time or you'll undo all the good the 80% did!

If you planned to be a bit less careful on say Saturday night but then you 'accidentally' had a blow out on Friday night instead, you cannot then expect to be able to 'go easy' on Saturday night! It seems obvious but there are a number of people who do seem to believe they can somehow cheat their diet 'when it's not looking' .

A thing I tend to do is not to restrict anything- but I do restrict quantity. If I want cake, I'll have cake, thanks, but I will have a 1/4 of a slice. Take out? No problem but maybe don't choose the most calorific option on the menu, but still choose something nice that you want, order enough but no more 'just in case'. In that way you keep the Deprivation Genie firmly in its bottle but don't undo all the rest of the good work you've achieved.

As an aside... it has been my experience that blokes don't actually know anything like as much as women about dieting and food. We forget that every one of us women, in this culture, have spent our entire lives being told what's 'fattening', what's 'slimming' etc etc, unlike the blokes who were building model railways and looking at boobs during their formative years. I found this when DH decided to join me on weight loss. He likes doing the grocery shopping on Saturday morning, alone, but I had to smile when he came back with sacks of dried fruit and nuts, avocados, loaf after loaf of whole grain bread, ready made Caesar salads, chorizo (?!), full fat yogurts, bags of pasta and spuds, announcing this was his 'diet food'.

Shocked him with the calorie and carb run down of all of them! He had no idea!

A little treat everyday is what I do, it keeps you on the straight and narrow!
Why is your husband adamant that doing this is not "doing it properly". Is he actually well informed about dieting? If you factor the calories/points into your daily allowance I dont see the problem, unless of course you cant stop once you start! lol. Exercise is a must too. Good luck!

I regard a treat as a reward and whe dieting I just reward myself the same just less frequently, usually monthly rather than weekly.

Some diets/WOE do 'warn' against using food as a form of 'reward', though, as it can give food attributes it shouldn't have, like 'good' food and 'bad' food, 'a reward' you treat yourself to to balance the 'punishment' of the rest of the 'diet', rather than just regarding it as 'food'. It could be argued that tackling your weight problem is 'treating' your body all the time! So many suggest an item of clothing or whatever is better as a reward for a target reached.

Maybe you can see your takeaway as being 'just easing off a bit tonight' rather than as a 'reward' for 'being good'?

Thanks for replies - he is an all or nothing type of guy so when he decides to diet or cut something out he is completely rigid - however I am not I need to be able to think oh it's sat I can have a treat tonight. I am using fitness pal (or just starting) and am shocked at amount of empty calories I have been putting away. I think ww might also be worth a go. I do all cooking all week so really look forward to getting a takeout as a "night off" if you know what I mean. OH is useless in kitchen so it's not something he could take over

Good luck!

I 'do' PMcK myself (and it can only be a personal choice!) as I see it as a change in the way I eat, rather than a diet. PMcK allows you anything and everything- BUT you have to work quite hard on becoming conscious of your hunger and satiety.

I am not yet fully 'free' of calorie counting in that, if I get hunger gripes mid afternoon, I have an apple or a Ryvita, not a piece of chocolate cake though I know which, in the short-term, I'd enjoy most !

I'm an all or nothing type too so for me, it has to be as your husband says.
I don't do "treats" because I know that once I start, I'd never stop - a bit like an alcoholic and just one drink.
The other thing, for me, with regard to alcohol, be it Gin, Wine whatever, it is a real de-motivator. A couple of glasses of wine and I start to think who needs a diet anyway, live life and be happy, have a bag of crisps if you feel like one, a bar of chocolate won't hurt etc etc.
But, we're all different and what works for one won't necessarily be right for someone else - but the one thing that is needed by all, is determination.
Good luck.

I do treats, mainly to show my dd that everything is ok in moderation. I might have a few of her chocolate buttons, or a small cookie in front if her.

However, wine is my treat. I know it stops my weight loss, so I am holding off for the next few weeks.

Treats are ok providing you know what treatsize is-unfortunately many ppl will down a large mcdonalds meals being around 3000 calories and think it is moderation as it is just 1 meal....they will down glasses of shop bought smoothies thinking they are healthy....eat unlimited amts of brown bread as because it is brown it is not fattening....in other words ppl have huge misconceptions about food and diet and do not know the meaning of moderation.... fatloss is hard work.

We go out for dinner once a week and that is my chance to “eat what I like”. This doesn’t mean I chuck 5000 calories down my throat, though. I basically have what I want but still with one eye on portion size and another eye on not eating too many carbs. But other than that I’ll eat what I feel like and if I want pudding I’ll have one, then I’m happy to not have another until the following week.

I eat some kind of chocolate everyday. I'm losing weight by calorie counting and factor it into my allowance (1400 a day.).

I am of the 80/20 mind set now having years of failed dieting . Realised I had an all or nothing mind set and I would let one meal sabotage all the rest I had done that were good and it set up a pattern that encouraged bingeing.

This time round I have what I want in moderation and build it in as I’m focusing on this being the last time I lose the weight and creating habits that can be kept up long term to maintain my weight. We’re all different but all or nothing was a disaster for me. My personal view is that learning to maintain is the important thing. We can all lose weight but the fact we’re posting here shows we can’t maintain.

''We go out for dinner once a week and that is my chance to “eat what I like”. This doesn’t mean I chuck 5000 calories down my throat, though. I basically have what I want but still with one eye on portion size''

Sounds like you nailed it so, as i said the amount of ppl who think they can diet then have 1 big cheat meal and how 'how much' they want rather than 'whatever' they want is where it all goes wrong, they do not seem to understand that all it takes is 1 big binge to undo a weeks work-I can easily down 5000k in just 1 mega binge...Many people generally have no idea of how many calories certain foods have, in order to get anywhere in dieting or even begin one needs to do much research and educate themselves.

Gosh yes. To be fair I don’t have a huge amount to lose but I’m down 5 kilos in around 6 weeks and still eat chocolate, crisps and burgers. The first two in small amounts and the burgers only if I know how many calories they have and never with chips at the same time. More a lifestyle change really and my approach is ‘mindful eating’ which I know sounds a bit wanky but works for me.

Oh and I’m mostly managing to keep to approximately 1200 calories a day. I’m not much over 5 foot so the reality is I can’t really eat that much even when not trying to lose weight

Agree with all of that. For example last week’s dinner out was at a steakhouse for a family birthday. So I had a fillet steak with a red wine sauce, onion rings, big wedge of lettuce with blue cheese dressing and a side of broccoli BUT no starter, and no chips and I shared a dessert with my mum. Then the next day I just had soup for dinner.

Felt really indulgent but not out of control.