FFS ! I have put a stone on since I last weighed myself . Have just got round to changing the battery in the scales I have a problem - I eat too much, I yo yo diet I think about food all the time it makes me unhappy I just want to be free of it all - I have zero willpower when it comes to food - I know I associate it with happiness and providing love for people but I sit here all the time feeling rubbish and guilt about what I have eaten in secret , putting on weight that i've lost feeling lazy etc etc.
I thought I may finally feel a bit free I started the 5:2 diet on Thursday managed to stick to 600 cals in a day felt blissful ever since because I felt that even if I effed up one day i could so easily get on track by doing an extra fast in the week and it felt good to be thinking in my head about food less IYSWIM but now I just feel rubbish. I was 34 yesterday another fat birthday - I have probably had about 3 birthdays since the age of 22 when I have not been classified obese or overweight I am sick of it all . I am so ashamed that half teh time I don't even tell my DH if I am dieting as I don't want anyone else to know. Sometimes it so easy toeat well and properly other times its so bloody hard . I just dont know where to turn or what to do. How can this be happening to me AGAIN another christmas searching for an outfit that I just don't feel rubbish in.
I am full of self loathing I just feel sick of myself. 