<waves apprehensively> hello, I need to lose weight- can you help me?

[sleepychunky]

I just got on the scales and completely shocked myself - I weigh 16st 5. That gives me a BMI of 35.6. I don't look as though I weigh that much (if that makes sense) but I had no idea.
Now I'm completely horrified and need to lose 4 stone at least to be anywhere near what I should weigh. When I got married 10 years ago I was about 11.7 and I really don't think I can go any lower than that, but 12st 5 will be my target for now.
So, I need your help. I work full-time and have 2 DSs (5 and 2). DH does shift work so very often I am on my own with the kids in the evening so can't get out to exercise classes. I would not be able to give up carbs completely (that would be like giving up breathing) so what tips do you have for me? I am going on holiday at the beginning of April next year and would love to be at my weight by then - do you think it's feasible?
Please help - I am too ashamed to talk to anybody in RL for motivation, so need your support!

I had a similar shock on the BBC "global fat scale" thread. I hopped on the scale and it said 87kg, which given my stature means a BMI of 38 .
I will happily join you in your quest to shed some weight.
I find drinking water when I fancy a snack often works, as most of the time I'm thirsty but my body mistakes it for hungry.
I don't drive, so walk pretty much everywhere. It takes a bit longer, and can be a bit miserable in the rain, but it's good for me and the planet.
I will cycle instead of walk some of my longer journeys for a cardiovascular workout.

Hiya! No need for shame. Focus on what you can do. I have had to give up snacking and work on portion control.
Where are all those pesky calories? Is it ready meals? Chips? Chocolate? Too much butter on toast? (I could go on but those are my problems/guilty secrets!)
Can you exercise at a different time? Go for a walk when DH home? Get a DVD?
I started the year at over 17 stone. (Now that's mortifying!) now lost 3 and a half. Good luck.

I am going to start by reducing portion sizes, not eating puddings (I don't very much anyway) and drinking a lot more water. I think if I went completely crazy straight away I would be setting myself up to fail as I would be so miserable.
I can't walk to work as I commute an hour each way on the train to London.
It would be great to have your support InMySpareTime and hope that some others will help to motivate!

Hello! I'm in a similar situation. I'm 3 stone over where I want to be, and also have no time to exercise outside the house. My DH works every evening and I work during the day. I was doing well on Paul McKenna for a bit- I lost a stone. It's all about changing your attitude to food. But I put half a stone back on- it all went to pot when I had a family bereavement as I comfort eat.
But I'm ready to get back on it now.
We could all support each other on this thread?!

Could you get off a stop early and walk a bit of the commute?
Walk on your lunch break?
I have a Pilates DVD and every so often I do the tummy toning exercises wherever I am (should do that more regularly though).
Crazy dancing with the DCs burns a surprising number of calories, as does gardening.
Substituting some simple carbs for whole wheat etc. cuts out calories without leaving a hunger gap, as does replacing potatoes with sweet potato or cauliflower.
My main problem is every time I set out to lose fat I end up gaining muscle, so I just weigh the same but look more "beefy".

Hello! I posted a similar thread last week, I've ballooned and really can't afford to - supposed to be losing weight for an operation, but because of the weight-gain side effects of medication that I'm on and my chocolate-loving gob it's not going well.

Have you tried myfitnesspal.com? It's helping me sooooo much. You can download the app for your phone, or just use it on the website. You fill in your details/height/weight, whether your lifestyle is energetic or sedentary, and how much you'd like to lose per week, and it gives you a calorie allocation for each day. You log the food and drinks you, how much exercise you do, and it keeps tabs on everything and says how much you'd gain or lose if you ate like this for 5 weeks (if that makes sense). I've found it really helpful at making me consider whether I reeeeeally want to eat something "naughty", and it's making me WANT to exercise more (unheard of normally).

If you need a buddy or just someone to moan to, gimme a shout! I need all the help I can get tbh, six weeks until I see my surgeon again and I'm worried he'll be annoyed at my massive gut.

Thanks - I will look at myfitnesspal.com. I can't get off the train earlier as it's too far between stops, and I only get half an hour lunch break which I work through every day as it's so busy. I do have a Davina DVD (3 in 1) which I bought after DS1 and I used it a fair bit before I got pregnant again, so I will dig that out and do it in the evenings when DH isn't at home.
I would love to check in with people every day (though it would be at quite random times depending on the kids!) just so that I can feel a bit better. Tonight I have eaten a chicken portion with carrots and passed on all the crispy cremes I brought back from the office (unused from a meeting) for DH and the children.
I have been drinking a fair bit of in the evenings after the children are in bed (not excessively, just a glass or a glass and a half every night) but have decided that will only be at weekends or if I go out as I know there are a lot more calories in that than you realise.
I'm feeling better about this already - thank you! My sister is very slim and so is everybody at work apart from me, so I really appreciate you all replying.

My DP just found a photo of me from five years - and by the looks of it, five stone - ago that makes me want to cry. I was so much thinner than I am now. Yes, I was still overweight but NOTHING like now. I know tomorrow it'll make me feel more determined, but right now it just makes me want to cry, I feel so angry with myself.

I'm in a similar situation but have been using my fitness pal for the last three weeks and I've lost ten pounds. And I haven't starved either! :) In fact, I don't feel as if I've denied myself at all, I've just been watching my portion sizes, choosing more wisely and exercising daily (extra if I have indulged on the food side).

I also work FT, and I know it can be hard to fit in, but find a way as it really is worth it. I don't feel like I'm dieting, I'm just making long-term changes to the way I eat, so no foods are off limits - it's all about moderation. Using MFP has really helped me to understand how small daily choices have impacted on my weight over time. Shocking, but those small daily choices are going to be my ticket to losing weight now. I've tried to diet before, and have always given up. This time, I know I'll stick with it.

I'm focusing on healthy choices too, not just calories. After 3 weeks, I'm looking and feeling better already - not just my weight but also my skin, my hair, my nails. I'm slowly realising how unhealthy I was before, and how much junk I've been putting into my body. I'm not going to beat myself up about it, but I'm not going to do that any more.

i've joined MFP and, according to them, need 1200 calories per day to lose 2lb per week. I've done my food diary for today and was 47 calories over (but we had lots of cakes in the office today because of important guests so I did indulge in a plain krispy kreme earlier). It's amazing how things stack up and like you Jinsei it really shows how things add up.
CatPower it's the photos which have done it for me today as well - I was in some pictures for work and when I looked at them and saw how awful I looked compared with everybody else I wanted to cry.
DH is v.overweight too so I'm hoping that if I don't go crazy but just make subtle changes then some of it will rub off on him too as I do worry that he is v unhealthy.

There will be days when you indulge OP - if you're too rigid, you probably won't stick to it. I ate cake today, but I'm feeling ok about it as I did extra exercise to compensate. And there was a time when I was eating cake every day. I've come a long way since then. The thing I like about MFP is that you can "earn" the extra calories sometimes through exercise, so you don't feel that restricted.

I have also set my weight loss goal at only a pound per week, so my calorie allowance is quite high. I nearly always come in well under the target, but psychologically that feels good, and I don't feel too guilty about the days I have eaten more, as I'm still roughly on target! Obviously, it would be nice to lose the weight as quickly as possible, but more importantly, I just want to lose it. If I try to do too much too quickly, I think I'd just be setting myself up to fail. So now I'm not bothered by how long it takes. As long as it's going in the right direction, that's all I'm worried about.

No crying! Don't be saddened by pictures in the past. Just focus on how fab you'll look in the future! (This has taken me a while to learn and wasn't helped by "D"S asking who that slimmer,fitter,tanned lady was with daddy. In MY wedding photos. Oh dear!)
Today I feel fat and bloated but tomorrow is up to me!

BBC Breakfast have an "inactivity" story today, the man they got in had some tips on getting active around full time work.
I had cake last night, less than I would normally eat, but I did say no to a beer, so at least that's something.

Hi all, just checking in during a brief lull at work. I am feeling positive today - I think partly because I am so busy at work I won't have time for the biscuit tin (we always have loads of cakes and biscuits here, which is a real problem!). Am going out tonight though for a school mums' get together, which I'm really looking forward to as we've never done this before (DS1 is finishing Reception tomorrow) but there will be lots of wine and unhealthy food, so I am being extra good during the day in the hope that I can be a little bit naughty later. Am also drinking lots of water. Was very tempted to get on the scales this morning just to make sure I wan't just accidentally standing on the scales with an elephant last night, but am going to wait until the weekend. I don't know if I'll have the control to wait a week between weigh-ins as I want to know if all my efforts are working, but we will see.
How are you all today?

I'm finding the drinking water surprisingly effective (but I keep needing a wee which is not so easy when in sole charge of the 2-3yo room).
I am steering clear of picking at all the "spare" food at nursery, and not really missing it.
I'm enjoying MFP, it's good to see how even 5 mins running up and down stairs or carrying children/boxes around adds up, and to see where the sneaky extra calories creep in.

I feel good today, went to the gym and did 40 mins circuit training, lots of weights and cross trainer. I was pouring with sweat by the end of it, but I feel so good now. Need to bottle this feeling and remind myself of it when I'm dragging my feet about going again on Friday!

I've bought The Idiot-Proof Diet after hearing lots of positive reviews from friends. I think it's mainly low-carbing, going to give it a read today anyway. I have PCOS so really ought to have been low-carbing since diagnosis (12 years ago), but I was sixteen then and not the lardy mess I am now!

Now, more water! Does tea count...?

Black tea counts, but sugary milky tea is calorie-tastic.
I often find I mistake thirst for hunger, and have replaced snacks with glasses of water.

Morning everyone, I had a great time last night out with some school mum friends and really enjoyed myself. I was really good during the day so I let myself indulge a bit, and felt good for that. Now to be strong and avoid the cakes at work today!

I had "date night" last night (me & DH eat separately from DCs, but stay in to save babysitter costs)
I cycled to work and back, and did a brisk walk to Brownies and back, and despite half a bottle of wine and a homemade carbonara, I was still 280 calories in the black.
Just thinking how good today will be, I have blood donors a 40-minute walk away today, so I will definitely lose at least the weight of a pint of blood, and burn hundreds of calories walking for 80 minutes. I just need to avoid cake.

I started with my fitness pal 10 days ago. I had got into the habit of eating cake everyday. I have now realised that coffee shop hot chocolate and cake comes to about 600 calories which is the difference between loosing weight and piling on the weight. For the last week I have been to the coffee shop but just had a cup of tea- 50 calories instead.
I am also doing the 30 day shred DVD which I hope will help me too.

OP I have lost 4 stone in the last year, going from 16s6 to 12s6.
I used foodfocus and myfitnesspal to count calories mostly, and have had lots of days off. Please stick to it for just a week and then weigh yourself - the weigt dropped off me to begin with. I am now a slightly tight s14 or s16 dropping off. YOU CAN DO IT.

Just read this thread in detail, well done :) Have you seent he support thread a couple of us are on - size 16 to size 10 and I'll do anything to get there. Sympathy, understanding and virtual talking-tos avaiable.

Thanks stealth, I will probably join the other thread as well. You are my idol - I was lurking a bit before starting the thread and saw your great success, which spurred me on to start doing this seriously.