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A space to talk openly about weight loss journeys and challenges. Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. You may wish to speak to a medical professional before starting any diet.

Emotional Eaters How to get over it?

22 replies

CrazyChicken · 09/07/2012 09:12

I'm so messed up mentally and emotionally I find it really hard to stick to a diet. I know you can have treats and not to deprive yourself on diets but something just clicks in my head and I don't do it. I over eat and punish myself. I hide what I eat sometimes. I crave the feeling eating gives me.
Anyone else know how I feel?

OP posts:
dotty2 · 09/07/2012 10:05

Me too - emotional eating is my biggest downfall too. I've been low carbing and find that helps as you can still have some treats, just not carby ones - I have a few nuts or some posh cheese etc. It has helped even out my food cravings too and I want chocolate etc less. I do find though, that if I decide to allow myself something carby as a treat, I then find it very hard to stop. And fundamentally I should probably try and get out of the food as treat/reward mentality.

Paul McKenna's book and Susie Orbach On Eating both address emotional eating. To save you the time and money, these are the two 'thoughts' that I've taken away from them that help me a bit.

From PMcK - if you want to eat because you're miserable, you are hungry for something but it's not food. Food will not fill the gap, so there's no point eating because however much you eat, it will not be enough. Do something else to soothe yourself instead (bath, walk, chat - you know the kind of thing)

From Susie Orbach - remind yourself if you're bingeing (or just eating too much of something that you don't need) that you are going to have to stop at some point and whenever you stop it will feel horrible, so you might as well stop now and get it over with.

Don't feel bad, it's very, very common and in my opinion probably one of the main reasons so many of us are bigger than we should be.

CrazyChicken · 09/07/2012 10:40

Thanks Dotty those both are so true. Especially the one by Susie. I will print them out and read them instead of putting something in my mouth x

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Imnotaslimjim · 09/07/2012 10:44

Hope you don't mind me gate-crashing. I'm another comfort eater and I'm currently the biggest I've ever been. Up until today I was spiralling into "I'm sad cos I'm fat, so I eat to make me less sad" I've got a grip of myself today - I can't be thinner if I'm going to eat my body weight in biscuits which is a huge feat believe me!

I do need to find another way of treating myself though. Maybe some new make-up or get my nails done or something, make me feel better about myself, not worse!

dotty2 · 09/07/2012 11:06

It is hard. I find the trouble is that there are just so many reasons to eat - because I'm happy and celebrating, because I'm sad and lonely, because I'm bored, because I'm stressed, because it's Friday night, because I'm on a train, because the kitchen's a mess and I might just have a biscuit before I tackle it. You have to try and break that link between how you feel and how you eat and that's really difficult to do.

I do feel I'm getting better, though not out of the woods yet. I also did the Couch to 5k at the start of the year (the only new year's resolution I have ever followed through on!) and am still running and find exercise fantastic for my general frame of mind. Am also conscious that it would be easier to run if I had a stone or two less to lug around with me, and that works (sometimes) as an incentive to make good food choices. (Have a look on the Couch to 5k thread if you fancy it, and don't think you're too fat - one of the women who did it at the same time as me started off at 19st.)

CrazyChicken · 11/07/2012 16:50

Thanks Dotty will do. I've given up my night job now because I'm so tired so I'm hoping that will help me get on top of things and help my moods and willpower.
I'mnotaslimjim course I don't mind you gate-crashing, its good to know someone knows how you feel. I need to find other treats too, good idea x

OP posts:
friendly7 · 11/07/2012 17:27

Comfort eater here too... Well, I'm working on it. Decided it's no comfort to see me grow so what I now do is find another comfort - having my hair done, getting a new scarf. Something which makes me feel happy without getting to eat ice-cream/cake etc. I also tend to eat more if I'm upset. So this has to stop as I put on too much 2 years ago. Now I'm not always winning the battle but just trying what is possible. Sometimes it feels like every day work has to be done so that I don't go back to the same comfort eating. Good luck to everyone!!!

VikingLady · 11/07/2012 21:29

Another emotional eater here. I don't even know where to start with dealing with it. At least the wine habit is gone (thank you, pg and dd1) but constant snacking all day is getting me down. And it's expensive

What do I replace it with? Am stuck in the house with a velcro baby and a bum that resembles a barrage balloon!

Imnotaslimjim · 12/07/2012 09:21

I'm doing well so far, 2 choc biscuits in 3 days. Other than that its all been fairly healthy. Its so hard though. Its almost like an addiction isn't it? Except with the likes of fags and drink you can give it up completely. Can't really do that with food!!!

Viking, sounds like you have it tough right now. If you're prone to snacking, could you slice up some carrot and cucumber and pick at that? I know it isn't as nice as chocolate or biscuits, but much better for you!

CrazyChicken · 12/07/2012 10:30

:( 2 bags of crisps already today. VikingLady do you like humous? That's nice with carrot sticks etc. DD1 might like it too.
Well done Slimjim on the biscuits. I have so much going on right now I know that's why I'm struggling even more. I'm hoping to become a childminder and have so much paperwork to do and courses to go on that I'm panicking a little.
Right line drawn today, healthy stuff the rest of the day.

OP posts:
VikingLady · 12/07/2012 16:03

Trying carrot. Hummus is OK but I'd eat the whole pot! Will buy cucumber tonight and try that too. The big problem that diets don't can't address, really!

Wow - well done Imnotaslimjim! And it is definitely an addiction. The big breakthrough quitting smoking (I'm told) is avoiding situations where you would usually light up until you've got your new habits well embedded. You can't do that with food, but maybe some snacking opportunities could be reduced.

Imnotaslimjim · 13/07/2012 08:39

Thank you, felling pretty proud of myself!! A friend cracked open a pack of choc bourbons yesterday and I didn't have one!! Went home and had a banana polishes halo

I'll be struggling in a couple of days though when the novelty has worn off again. I never manage more than a couple of weeks before I fold, so I have to be strong. As VL says, its all about embedding new habits, so I'm forcing myself to reach for the fruit bowl or yogurt rather than the biscuit barrell

friendly7 · 13/07/2012 16:27

Sounds fantastic. Keep it up :)

lambinapram · 13/07/2012 16:38

This is very interesting:
www.drbriffa.com/2011/05/03/is-emotional-eating-always-due-to-emotions/

lambinapram · 13/07/2012 16:40

I used to think I was an emotional eater, but since going low carb, I very rarely have cravings or over eat.

aroomofherown · 13/07/2012 19:12

I definitely used to be an emotional eater (and a big spender of money too - generally an overconsumer in every way).

For me: I realised that my childhood was reasonably neglectful and it seems my needs as an infant weren't met very well. As a result I found I couldn't stand being hungry, it panicked me (harkening back to my infant days when I thought my needs wouldn' t be met). So I felt the need to "pamper" myself - I spent loads of money on nice products etc and overate in order to feel cared for. I've only in the last year or so learnt that hunger didn't equate to being neglected or uncared for, just was a part of life and sooner or later I'd get some food.

It may not be the same for you though - if not just ignore everything I said!

Imnotaslimjim · 14/07/2012 11:24

That sounds awful difficult to deal with aroom, I'm glad to hear you're coming through it. I know for me its because my mum didn't deal with emotions, and even when I got PND while my son was in hospital she told me to "pull myself together" and so I reach for chocolate to make life sweeter

I cabed last night. I knew it wouldn't last long. a full pack of jaffa cakes and 2 cream eggs in less than 5 mins. And all it did was make me feel a failure. But AF is due today, so won't even be fighting it!

Fourfingerkitkat · 14/07/2012 19:35

Reading all these posts is like someone reading my mind. I successfully lost all my baby weight after ds and read You can be Thin by Marissa Peer (it's worth a read) however second time round it just wasnt't doing it for me. Had my dd 2yrs ago and at 10st 6lbs (I'm 5ft 6) am not overweight as such but could do with losing a couple of pounds round my middle and bum. I'm one of these people who can binge and then stop and reign things in a bit before they get completely out of hand....and then binge again. I'm convinced I have an eating disorder. I have been reading "Eating Less, Say Goodbye to Overeating" by Jillian Riley. She makes a lot of sense and goes into things a bit more than Marissa Peer.

My basic diet is good... For example, I eat porridge or scrambled eggs for breakfast, home made veggie soup for lunch and homemade chickpea curry for dinner. Have tried to cut out all pasta and bread as it really bloats me. But then after eating well all day I'll have a massive blow out. I regularly hide chocolate and biscuit wrappers. Have ate all the kids chocolate on occassions and then had to run out to the shops before my partner realised because I was so embarassed....That's the first time I've actually admitted that...Feel like a right bitch !

SilveryMoon · 14/07/2012 19:40

I don't know whether I'd say I'm an emotional eater but think I'm a compulsive eater.
I am always thinking about food. I eat whenever I can, not because I'm hungry but because I want to. Actually I don't even want to eat half the time I eat but I keep telling myself just one more binge.
I really need to stop, but don't know how. Sad

aroomofherown · 15/07/2012 17:39

Slimjim - it has been pretty tough! It has delayed all the things like financial security/buying a house etc due to the overspending. I feel like I'm just growing up now - can finally manage my own finances, and can recognise that my binge eating is not a physical necessity, I won't die if I wait another hour to eat, or if I don't have that . It is very empowering Smile

winedog · 16/07/2012 12:35

Agree with Fourfinger, Gillian Rilley's "Overcoming Overeating" really helped me to understand what is happening in your head when you crave food. She talks about overeating as an addiction-in many ways it is a habit that has been reinforced over and over in many situations in your life so that you automatically think about eating when you are in any given situation. With her ideas there is no restriction or banning of foods, you make the desicions and take responsibility for what you eat as long as you are prepared to live with the consequences. Must go now as I can hear my children killing each other Grin

aldoggone · 16/07/2012 13:01
Imnotaslimjim · 17/07/2012 09:13

Thanks for the book suggestions, will get them downloaded and have a look. I would love to break this habit!! Got a friend trying to help me stay on track - she's recently lost 2 & 1/2 stone and is looking fab!! I've got 6 to lose in total, but 2 would do me for now!!

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