I feel so ashamed and depressed. Why do I do it?

[UtterlyButterly]

Why can't I stop eating??

I woke up and ate chocolate brownies and millionaires shortbread just because it was there.

I went to MIL and ate a Sunday lunch that would feed 3 people and I ate enough crumble to feed probably 4 people.

I am sat here in pain from being so full and it has made me feel so so ashamed. I know I am doing it and I know how bad it will make me feel but I still do it.

I went to my GP who was no help whatsoever. He just looked at me as if to say 'what do you want me to do?'

My weight is increasing everyday and I don't know how much more I can take of feeling so horrible about myself.

I think I just needed to rant and get it out. It has taken me to the point of despair now and I don't know who to turn to or what to do

Oh Utterly it is so hard isn't it. If you were finding it hard to kick cigarettes, alcohol or drugs when you were surrounded by other people smoking, drinking etc would you be so hard on yourself?

Food is everywhere and we can't just switch off from it, so of course its going to take more than just will-power to kick the bad habits, but where are the patches and sprays to help food addicts?!

First things first, make sure there aren't any brownies/millionaires whatnots in the house, because then you can't eat them "just because they were there", then sit down and plan a shopping list of healthier foods that you DO like (there's no point in buying lettuce and cottage cheese as its just foul and will turn you right off!) Porridge is good to fill you up first thing, and you can throw in banana, dried fruit, nuts etc to make it more interesting.

Or how about trying a low-carb plan, just because the food seems so indulgent and naughty that it doesn't feel like you're being restrictive - bacon and eggs for brekky is even better than brownies!

Start going for a walk everyday too, for the fresh air, the sunshine (if we ever get any!) and the physical exercise.

I'm not some skinny exercise freak btw, I'm a fairly 'curvaceous' lady who has also been steadily putting on weight until recently, and only a huge amount of stress has finally switched off my attitude (I don't recommend that part!) but now that I'm eating again, I can see where I was going wrong and I'm trying not to get back into the habit of eating when I'm not hungry. Evenings are my worst time, so I will try really hard not to go down that route again.

Sending you lots of love and please don't be hard on yourself - you know you need to do somehing and that's half the battle. x

Attitude?! I meant appetite!!

Hi UtterlyButterly. Wishing you best of luck. I know how hard it is when we see all these foods around us. I think it's not possible to remove every single temptation as we visit people, we go to parties, we arrange parties, etc. The best think to do, I think is to try to divert your attention to fruit if it agrees with you/veg or whatever you feel would be a good alternative. When I look at ice-cream/cakes/biscuits/chocolates I try to think what it will do to my body. It really is 5 minutes of pleasure and hours of regrets so I prefer not to feel unhappy and that's why I would try to avoid sugary snacks. I know how hard it is, it's every day work. Wishing you good luck and happiness!

Have you considered overeaters anonymous? There is usually a psychologically based reason for us - I.e., swallowing our feelings.

Millionaires shortened is like crack to me. I cannot keep it in the house. :(

I will admit I made the brownies and millionaires myself last night knowing I'd eat it

It's like part of me doesn't care and I'm rebelling against the part of me that knows I should stop does that even make any sense?!

Yes total sense. Any other addiction the advice is just stop but um you can't stop eating. I only buy treats for the kids I know I won't eat. If I bake I give it away to all and sundry so I don't eat the lot.
Do you have times or triggers that cause you to eat? I eat in the evening so I've started going out and walking or doing other exercise. (Also makes me feel better.)
I'd be tempted to find a new GP. Remember just because you ate like that today you don't have to eat like that forever.
Oh and YY to millionaire's shortbread as crack!

Another thought.
You deserve to feel good. What other than food would do that?
PS. Not a size 8 here (never will be) but lot smaller than I was at the start of the year and it feels good. Take care.

I'm finding watching "the men who made us fat" on tv combined with the Harcombe Diet is working for me. Weaning off the processed foods. I don't think it's you I think it's the inadequate nutrition

I don't have any advice but there are lots of us out there who feel exactly the same and do exactly the same. Don't ever feel you're the worst person in the world for doing this because you aren't. x

Just wanted to say that I totally understand what you are saying. But I don't have many words of wisdom sorry. It is hard and millionaire's shortbread is like crack to me too. I've had days where I have just stuffed myself silly and after I feel so bad about it. It is a horrible affliction and so complicated to work out.

I would think a different GP might be more helpful though.

See, now homemade millionaires shortbread is sooo tempting Perhaps what you need to do is half the mixture and only make it when you have people coming round for a cuppa, so you get the treat, but you only have one square and you get the joy of sharing the experience!

Once you say 'never again' and a food becomes banned you will only crave it more (the only downside of low carbing, although as I recall, you do get to eat dark chocolate and cream so you can make choccy mousses etc)

Agree with finding other treats than food as well, good old clay face mask, soak in a foot spa, soppy film, buying a new lipstick or a bunch of flowers for yourself. You could set yourself some weightloss goals with those things as rewards too. Start to convince yourself that you deserve to feel good and that although the food you're eating does that momentarily, the longer lasting effect is what you're experiencing now, feeling out of control and self-loathing.

Do you think your GP was expecting you to ask for gastric band surgery or weight loss pills? Maybe that's why he was a bit dismissive. If you'd really like some more support or advice there are probably better places to get it (I've never been to a weight loss club but have 2 friends who have both done it and lost lots - one of whom has got into walking and is just buying a dog to keep her active - another idea maybe for further down the line?!)

Try increasing your protein intake. I've had problems with sugar cravings for years, but the problem is, the more you eat, the more you want! I have eaten a few treats over the last week, as I don't think I'll stick to it if I make sugar a forbidden food altogether. But by increasing my protein intake, I find I feel fuller for longer, and I simply don't crave stuff as much. I wouldn't have believed it if you'd told me this a month ago!

Also helps to write down everything you eat - I am using my fitness pal on my phone. By eating more healthily and getting a bit more exercise (mainly walking), I have lost half a stone in the last two weeks and it hasn't really been that hard!

Makes me realise how unhealthily I was eating before. Funny thing is, I'm enjoying my food much more now, because I'm actively choosing what to eat, and not just shoving things down my throat because they're there. I bet you didn't even enjoy those millionaire's shortbread, did you OP? I know I never did...

You do not have to stop eating, that is not th right way to think.

Everbody has to eat. To have Not Eating as an ideal, is setting yourself up for failure!

Keep healthier stuff in the house. There is no reason at all to have brownies or hortbread n the house, at all.

Just be realistic and make small decisions, ie, decide to have porridge for breakfast. Well done. Next decsion, decide to have water or tea when you are thrsty, not coke or juice. Next decision, have a nice sanwich or noodle soup for lunch and a piece of fruit. Don't try to eat just a stupid salad, it is not sustainablle.

Being slim is about LOTS of small decisions. There is always a choice to be made. Be proud whn you make a good choice, and do not despair as one bad choice does not a diet break!

Very wise advice Chandon - take it meal by meal, day by day.

My GP referred me to the mental health team, but I work in the NHS, and was scared I would see someone I knew at the appointment, so I didn't go. You could ask your GP for a referral though. See a different GP.