Thread 10 already for the Paul McKenna's Paulettes, losing lbs with No Pain! No Pain!! and Definitely No Calories, No Syns, No Humiliation. Come and Join In To Lose Weight With Supportive Friends!

[Solo]

Welcome to thread 10 of the Paul McKenna's I Can Make You Thin weight loss system.

The Golden Rules that will aid you on your journey with our like minded support system are:

1. Eat what you WANT
2. Eat when you are HUNGRY
3. Eat CONSCIOUSLY
4. STOP eating when you are satisfied and full

This weight loss system is about re-educating your body; learning to listen to it and in doing so losing weight and inches. So forget diets; they may work for a while, but they aren't permanent solutions. This is a new way of living for your brand new life!!

The Paul McKenna system really works and is easy to maintain.

I've C&P'd our previous threads links as they are helpful.

Here are the book choices on AMAZON which is all you need to get started! they aren't compulsory, but they do help! it's something to refer to and listening to the cd's can really focus you.

This is the tapping technique EXPLAINED - this can be useful to combat cravings.

You don't have to buy the book and CD, but we have found that they do help and somehow they keep you on track, so it would probably be a good investment and will cost you far less than a couple of trips to WW or SW meetings, so do consider having them in your life.

Please feel free to join us, whether it's 10lbs or 10 stones you want to lose.
We are friendly, supportive and successful, but we're not hungry OH NO we're not!!! so come on in and start living your new life today!

HELLO EVERYONE!!! and it's good to be back I've missed you all!! a great big welcome and a YOU'RE IN THE RIGHT PLACE NOW to all the newbies I can't believe I've got 5 more pages of this to read to catch up properly!!!! so i'm marking my place

biscuits x-posts.

I really struggled with feeling that there is no point because I will always be fat. I have been overweight since my teens, so I don't have a 'thin point' to get back to as an adult.
I have always been the same about exercise 'oh I can't do that, that is for strong/fit people'.
Finally, I am making some progress. I'm thinner than I have been since I was 23 (am 35 now), and I am stronger than I have ever been I think. Once you make some headway and break new ground it gets easier to believe in yourself. But it is hard work and a long road.

In terms of fitting this around family - we have ALL struggled to get our heads around that to start with, almost every person who comes onto this thread asks that question and I remember asking it when I started and being really worried about it.
What I found, is that if I genuinely only ate when I was hungry rather than just a bit peckish, my appetite fell naturally into mealtimes. If I am hungry at 12pm, I just have an apple or something small to keep me going until lunchtime (1pm here roughly), and the same later in the day. Make it work for you, learn to regulate your appetite. A lot of it is to do with portion control I have found.

Hello pp!

Hi Biscuit, yes, I struggle with the visualisation. I either can't help making myself 15 yrs younger (when I was last at the real target) which with the best will in the world ain't going to happen. I may one day get thinner. I sadly won't ever get younger. Even then I only see a back view of myself from a distance!

Or, I manage to maintain a realistic visualisation of all of - oh I don't know - 5 seconds. Can you see how well this works for me?

Tbh, I don't try very hard any more. I already have an unrealistic view of what I look like, in that I forget how hefty I am and therefore conveniently forget that it is important to lose weight. I don't really need to be deluding myself any more about how fabulous I look! I do see what it is trying to achieve but I am not sure it is working for me. As with so many things though, I am probably looking at it all wrong!

Kinky - hope the week passes in a flash and the observation goes well. Who is doing it? The head or the LEA or heaven forbid, Ofsted? The big thing at our school (I am a governor) is apparently that the teachers stick to their lesson plans too rigidly. They tell us they have to have a plan but know when not to stick to it. All this differentiation and planning and behaviour management and all the other stuff you have to juggle as teachers leaves me a bit . Rather you than me and a big to teachers in general. Good luck!

Solo, I hope the wardrobe dilemma sorts itself. Can you get the sewing machine out and do a bit of improvising and adapting? Or maybe fashion a shawl or something? Not that I could. I am rubbish at dressmaking. I am very grateful that DS1 isn't in the least bit interested in clothes and DS2 could just about make do with hand me downs. I don't think I would have been a nice mum and given up my brithday vouchers but on the other hand the little darlings can't help growing, can they? With the summer holidays looming, they need more than one set of clothes. Rock and a hard place I would say. Shame they can't go naked really.

Sainsburys were having a massive clear out of the clothes section last time I was in there - half the rakes were empty. I am not sure if it is to make way for the sales stuff or the new season stuff but something was going on. Maybe you could pick up a nice top or a skirt in there very cheaply? I bet you could get something pretty for less than £10 and hopefully that might leave you with something as a stand by for the food. It is worth a look.

Oops x post with Ali and ppeat whilst I was burbling on.

Hello ppeat. Nice to see you

Ali It is one of those bittersweet things, finishing nursery or any stage of schooling. I blub too. Shame this morning's early sun has gone and you can't leave your sunglasses on! Very useful in the summer term (allegedly ) but not so great when you want have a quiet sob over the Christmas nativity play.

BBB I know :( I have got to go and pick him up in an hour, I am welling up already at the thought of it. What a wuss!

I am like BB I tried that visualisation and I cannot help but visualise myself the day I met DH - 12 years ago! I was a size 10 then and the weight has gone on since then (though most of it in the last 7 years since having kids) - I was certainly happy with how I looked then but equally certainly I am never going to look like that again even if I weighed the same! Biscuits I also struggle with "think of a time you were totally calm and in control" - it's not that I am a stress head at all nor do I feel out of control especially (obviously I am with food, but I am not in a constant state of panic or anything) its just that I don't think I've thought "Oh I feel all calm now"... happy yes, but calm is not something I have a concious memory of, I think because feeling calm and in control is an absence thing - absence of anxiety, and you don't notice it? Or is that just me?

Ali good luck with the tears! Your DS must be the same age as mine, if he were in the UK he'd be due to start school in September, but as we are in Germany he still has 2 more years at Kindergarten! DD got "thrown out" of Kindergarten last year (it's a ritual, not being excluded ;) They throw the leavers into the arms of their parents on the last day) and there were loads of crying parents!

What is wrong with me? I've just practically forced myself to eat biscuits until I feel sick?

Why am I so intent on ruining myself? I'm actually getting quite worried about my insistence on derailing myself

Biscuits :( hang in there, it does get easier :)

I managed not to sob too much EnglishWoman - DS1 is not quite 4, his birthday is on Monday, so he will be very young in his year when he starts school!

Blimimi Ali not quite 4! No wonder you felt emotional! My DS1 will be 5 in Sept so would be one of the eldest if he were in the UK. Not quite 4 is too little!! DD was (still is) the youngest child in her school year - she started school 6 days before her 6th birthday! DS1 could start 5 days before his 6th birthday (30th Sept is the euivalent of 31st August as a cut off date here, but there is flexibility for children born between June and Sept to start school or not to) we are keeping DS1 back a year - almost all parents keep their summer born boys back, they are considered too young to start school at not quite or only just 6!! (School is quite different here though!)

Blimimi = blimey

biscuits I have had to stop myself getting the nutella jar down and eating a spoon of it, honestly I think I do it 2 or 3 times every day, for no reason, and more when I'm low level stressed! I realised I was hiding empty jars in the recycling, it was one of the things that made me realise I had to do something. Don't dwell on it, just start again as of now!

Oh I've been in the nutella jar too . I seem to be constantly 'starting again'.

Still, at least I'm conscious that I'm binging - before I wouldn't have even blinked an eye at it.

What would Paul say if he were here?

I suspect he'd say something along the lines of 'draw a line and start over, no point being yourself up'

Although I suspect this is partly my problem - that I can always repent and start again so there's 'always tomorrow'

So how do I get past this? No one else can do it for me. Only I make myself eat it and only I can stop it. So it stops. I will follow the rules. I will.

I still suck from gorging biscuits - must remember this v unpleasant feeling and use it to discourage myself tomorrow. I suppose it's proof that the rules work - I feel sick when I don't follow them!

Sorry for being so mememe . An reading about you all but struggling to find time to post. Will try to use my biscuit binging time to post in the future

Biscuits could it be worth trying to work out what triggers the eating when you aren't hungry? I know my triggers are often related to procrastinating over something I don't want to do (whether its making a phone call in German or just cleaning the kitchen) or "hiding" if the kids are being demanding - the thing about stuffing something in your mouth is it only takes 30 seconds (or however long you can get away with carrying on) and you can do it almost whatever else is going on - you can't go for a bath when you're looking after your young children but can nip in the kitchen and scoff 4 biscuits you aren't even slightly hungry for, and even if you have the house to yourself it feels self indulgent to have a nap or go out for a walk when you should be cleaning, so I put it off by eating instead... I am trying to get my head around this and actively choose the other options, but I am only just starting and it is hard to break the automated response and twisted subconscious logic! I also eat when I am tired even though I know I am hungry not tired - harder to sort out as sleeping isn't always an option!

Just a ramble there, I know I will self sabotage like you - I bet most people do every so often, I guess it is a cycle to be broken and progress to find we are doing it less often, rather than expecting to suddenly be able to stop.

I have the latest Paul book and it has an apparently (according to the forward) new chapter on self sabotage, do you have that edition?

Yes you really will biscuits welcome BTW you seem to be getting on well but you must also think of yr. self image and be positive (there's no room for self hatred on this thread!!)

We're all lovely only we've made some bad food choices and (from reading yr. childhood experiences) have to change ingrained habits instilled by well intentioned but misguided parents which, as P.M. says, are stronger than steel, so will take time and patience to beat.

englishlady welcome to you as well it's nice there's another expat on this thread (well i'm not a proper expat we live between fr. and Blighty). the german ed.system I've heard is not as flexible as ours for the older D.C.s but seems more sensible for the L.O.s.

Yes - I can relate to that entirely. Especially the looking-after-children-sneaking-into-the-kitchen-to-stuff-biscuits-in! And yes, it's all about breaking the habits. In my clear thinking moments I am trying to think that when I get these urges I should do something proactive and go and perhaps start a new activity with one of the DSs. Sounds virtuous and will be a great win win if I can pull it off .

And yes, I'm literally just about to read the self sabotage chapter now while bf DS2

Clever clever!

I love the idea that the self sabotage thing is really just trying to keep me safe! For me the self sabotage is based around 'if I don't try, I can't fail (and thus feel bad)'. It throws a whole different light on it if I think this is just my inner self trying to stop me from feeling sad of it doesn't work out!

I think it will help me to be a bit braver and tell my inner self it's ok because I won't fail . I might mention that I'm gorgeous while I'm chatting with my inner self

We've had several conversations on self sabotage over various the various Pauling threads, Biscuits - it does seem a bit of a revelation for many of us even though that doesn't necessarily make it any easier to deal with.

I know I have been doing it since I was a teenager only with me it was school and exams. I screwed up my A levels the first time round because I just didn't put the work in. I wasn't off misbehaving or anything like that, I just simply messed around at my desk and didn't put in the time. Even back then I remember thinking, well, at least if I fail I know why and of course I did do badly but part of me felt better that it wasn't because I was stupid, it was because I didn't work. In that sense it is self protection. Better to be lazy, which you can sort out, than to be thick, which you can't. Anyway, it messed with my head for a good many years and just when I thought it wasn't an issue, it rears its ugly head when I realise I am probably only fat because I don't actually let myself be thin.

Knowing that doesn't make it alright though does it? Probably the visualisations are way of letting yourself be thin and realising that isn't bad, I don't know. All very confusing if you think about too much.

I agree recognising it is one thing and challenging it is another. Sometimes I find food wise it helps not to have 'my' triggers in the house - like if you have my husband kids they may want biscuits but try not to have your absolute, can't put them down favourites. Might be worth trying the tapping technique biscuits. I'm certainly terrible for 'sneaking' food - probably from a childhood of being on diets. Since the Paul rules have become firmer in my mind the instinct to do that has lessened.

Another 5k walk tonight with my sister - she was jogging and I was trotting along trying to keep up!

Also when you get those urges biscuits the 'tapping technique' when done properly really does work Morning everyone !

I haven't got to the self sabotage chapter yet, that sounds interesting!

I listened to the CD all the way through for the first time today, it is impossible at home but I managed it in the gym quiet room after my workout... I say I listened, but I only remember the warning at the beginning not to listen while driving or operating heavy machinery - I guess I fell asleep right at the start :o I did wake up to the sound of him counting to 3 at the very end though! Good job or I'd never have been home for the end of DD's school day at lunch time! I know it says in the book it will still work if you fall asleep, but I am dubious esp as I must have fallen asleep right at the start - I remember nothing! I am very long term sleep deprived due to my 15 month old who has only ever slept through a handful of nights in his life (I do all the night duties) and if I lie down or even sit back knowing the kids are all being looked after, I fall asleep - can't even remember or imagine what it's like to "not be able to get to sleep" - my body automatically grabs any sleep it can if I lie down! Wonder if I will manage to stay awake next time, as I have still no idea what the CD is about!

They do say that sleep learning is possible .One of the worst things is trying to control your eating when you're sleep deprived and there is a phsiological reason for it; because when tired your body doesn't secrete the 'stop when you're full' hormone so you're trying to P.M. with one hand tied behind yr. back.It CAN be done but it is more difficult

pp I have heard a few times that "you can't lose weight unless you're getting enough sleep" but never heard an actual concrete reason for it, was hoping it was an old wives tale. It is true I can't tell when I am full (though I am not sure I ever could - when I have been slim in my life it has not been due to eating to appetite, but to eating very little). At least if the "fullness" hormone is not secreted when sleep deprived it is more likely that weight loss is possible than if your metabolism slowing right down when very tired or something!

Just a few thoughts on sleeping; have you tried running yr L.O. to sleep? you know getting him to have so much exercise that he literally drops with exhaustion tiredness and then you can do the same and the 2 of you get some sleep. And or giving him a large supper at bedtime I found that used to keep my L.Os asleep all night. But not fruit AFtER the meal 'cos it doesn't digest well and maybe give him tummy ache.

"eating very little" If you do that too much you put ON weight according to P.M. because your body goes into starvation mode and hangs on to every bit of carb and fat you eat when you DO eat! Hence the problems with low calorie diets when they finish and people return to 'normal' eating!!

Grrrrr. MN went off line and I lost a post........again!!!!

Try again!

Englishwoman - it is most likely you weren't asleep at all. Listening to the CD is a bit like being sedated. You can respond to others and cooperate with requests up to a point but you aren't aware of it. I have had sedation when I have had dental work done and the dentists tell me that I can open my mouth when told to etc, and listening to the CD is the same thing. If you were asleep you probably wouldn't have responded to being told to come round. I know if I listen at night sometimes I don't hear it and then I don't wake up until morning. I bet you weren't as woozy as if you were asleep either. It is very weird how it messes with your head but that is hypnotism for you.

As for the research on sleep this sums it up pretty well. There is enough evidence to suggest causation but not enough, yet, to prove it. It is a difficult experiement to construct because of all the variables but I if I were a gambler, I would bet that there is a real link. I also reckon that the reason a lot of women put on weight in pregnancy and after the baby is born is because of lack of sleep, not just eating too much. I also don't think that my sleep has ever recovered from having babies and even now that the boys are 12(tomorrow) and 8 I still hear them if they move about in the night or go to the loo. I don't ever sleep 7 hours solid any more, not that I am even in bed that long but when I am, I wake up all the time. It isn't good.