Can I help my dh (sorry, bit of a rant)?

[hillyhilly]

I think maybe this should be in relationships actually but I'm really not sure.
My dh is obese (almost morbidly I suspect), he's always been fat, put on loads of weight at uni (through excess drinking and junk food) and has only lost a little of it. He was fat when I met him (in 1987, we were both 20). I've been overweight in the past though not to the same extent but since having children (I'm a sahm) 7 years ago have got it under control.he has lots of redeeming qualities and is also very tall so carries it better than some.
However, he's had type2 diabetes since 2000, is on blood pressure medication and has called this morning to say he's had a mother rollicking from the nurse as his last bloods weren't great.
I am a doer, if I see something that needs doing I'll get on and do it, but I don't seem to be able to change how he is.
He drinks too much and has a job that involves eating out and drinking several times a week - obviously this makes losing weight difficult but I feel he uses it as an excuse. He does no exercise whatsoever bar a short walk with the kids at the weekend and the occasional round of golf.
I've tried everything, tears, serious threats about what'll happen, using the kids (I hate to talk about kids weddings cos I can't see he'll make it to ours), ignoring it, being ultra supportive, Mfp (he used it properly for about two weeks last year and instantly his bp and blood sugar were fantastic but as soon as he has to guess when out, he loses interest), weight watchers points.
It makes me so sad, no actually it makes me bloody furious that he won't help himself, he is the only one who has any control over what goes in his mouth, if he didn't know better his diet would consist of meat, chips, more red meat, lots and lots of bread, the odd apple and lots of alcohol everyday. He doesn't eat or drink like that but it would be his idea of heaven.
He says he can't cut back on the entertaining, so I only have limited input, all our meals at home are healthy low fat and cooked from scratch but until that switch in his head flips is there anything I can do?
Since he spoke to me this morning I know what I will have spent all day worrying and thinking about it and formulating plans on what he could do within the confines of his job and home life but I know that he will have said, "yes I know I need to lose weight" and then carried on without giving it a second thought arghh!
Sorry, I think this might be more of a rant than anything else but if anybody has anything insightful to say or a dh who has managed to change I'd be really grateful to hear it!

If he has type 2 diabetes then he should be on a low carb diet which should suit him perfectly since he likes meat a lot. This time last year I was borderline prediabetic with a fasting blood sugar of 5.6, three months later I started a low carb diet and three months after that my fasting blood sugar was 4.0 which is about as perfect as you can get really.

What QueenStromba said. My Uncle manages his type 2 diabetes through dietary control and restricting carbohydrate. It had the added benefit of bringing his cholesterol levels into normal range as well.

It's up to him what goes in his mouth but if you had a look at the information on www.diabetes.co.uk/diet/low-carb-diabetes-diet.html you may be able to tell if it would be workable for him

Absolutely agree. Low carb is the way to go for diabetics. And it means that he can still eat his red meat, have fry-ups etc (just no beer!)

Low fat isn't going to help him much, tbh. It won't do anything for his blood glucose and it'll leave him feeling hungry and more likely to eat crap. Get him to look into low carb - it will stabilise his glucose levels brilliantly.

The link to that diabetes site is great - they have a massive low-carb forum with loads of info. I would imagine he's been given the bog-standard diet advice about eating plenty of carbs and keeping things low-fat - they'll soon put him right there!

Best of luck.

Damn, just made a huge post and the site blipped and it's gone.

Basically my husband was exactly the same and he's now low carbing with great effect. His diabetes is completely controlled by diet, his IBS has gone and he's lost 2 1/2 stone since the end of February.

I've got to go out now but I'll be back later if you want any more info.

Ditto the others above. If all your meals at home are 'healthy' low fat then it will take you some time to absorb the concept of a low carb, high fat diet. It does go against conventional thinking but it is the way forward for controlling diabetes and weight.

My DH and I have been eating this way for the last few weeks and the weight is just melting away, DH lost half a stone in the first 4 days. We feel so much healthier and energised too.

The change really has to come from him though, you can lead a horse to water, etc. Maybe if he reads up on the theory and our experiences it might help.

It is not a calorie counting way of eating, you can eat as much as you like (of the right foods of course) and you should never be hungry. Which makes it relatively easy to stick to. And eating out should be straightforward enough by sticking to meat and veg/salads. High carb drinks such as beer can be swapped for wine or vodka/soda.

My boss doing low carb with business lunches. Massive steaks and salad and a diet coke or fizzy water. Low fat not a good idea as low fat = lots of carbs.

However he has to want to do it himself.

Totally agree with other posters about low fat being useless. Would he eat something like lamb chops, cauli and greens with butter? Or Pork chops sautéed in butter then slow cooked in the oven with cream and mushrooms? If yes, then check out low carbing. Come and join BIWI's thread in the weightless forum. Honestly it is life changing.