I just can't do it - anyone else?

[FartBlossom]

Bit of a moan here, I can't lose weight. Well I can, I lose a bit then give up. How on earth do people lose weight? I know I know its all in the food, with a bit of exercise to help a bit more, but its mainly eating the right things.

Im 12st 5, size 14-16, 5'5. I have a big belly which makes me look pregnant. Ive always looked pregnant even before children.

Ive started running, Ive been doing it for the last 6 weeks, but I know I need to work on my diet. Its just not happening though. Im slowly putting on the pounds. Im happy to be a size 14, but I can feel myself getting bigger. I just can't stop eating junk. What really works? Ive tried SW, but without going to meetings I can't seem to follow it very easy and I can't go to meetings as I can't afford it. Ive tried calorie counting, but a lot of things I seem to eat I haven't the foggiest how much is in them (like the cottage pie we had for tea tonight).

Sorry I dont really know what the point in my post is apart from to just have a moan about my weight. DH doesn't understand (he's not exactly thin himself, but doesnt care) and thinks I don't need to watch my food intake, but if I dont watch it Im just putting on weight. I dont have many close friends I can talk to about this and just want to moan about how I long to be slimmer, but its just not happening. Is it this hard for everybody? Will I be battling with this for the rest of my life? Am I just having a hard couple of days now the scales have just tipped over the 12st 5 mark?

I'm afraid I'm going against the grain here with other posters now....I just eat a normal diet (no specifics about 'low carb' this, don't eat that etc.). I eat what I want, but I focus on portion control alone. It has worked well for me, and I do not feel the need to eat any more than I put on my plate (adequate portion). If I fancy bread, toast etc, I just eat it. But instead of having two slices, I would have one and then some fruit. That kind of idea.

I don't follow all these silly faddy diet plans. It doesn't achieve anything. You have to be able to adapt to losing weight on your own. Have the courage to achieve results yourself. I've watched my own mother join several slimming clubs, losing weight and then piling it all back on over a 40 year period. Not for me, no thanks. Think of all that money that's been wasted. Could have been on a couple of world cruises!

Thats what Im thinking lovechoc maybe cutting down how much goes in. I can totally see the argument for the low carb plan, but I know I really can't cut it down. DH is so unsupportive I can't not have the portions on my plate. I suppose I could always just fill up on other things though and just say Im full. When we were in the supermarket the other day we were down the chocolate isle and he was looking for something. He asked if I was getting anything and when I said no he just rolled his eyes and said something along the lines of "are we doing that again" in a fed up kind of way. In regards to my eating only I just wish he wasn't here.

Im not hugely overweight or anything, I can just see my weight getting heavier. Im not sure I see the point in doing anything right at the moment. Feeling really fed up with myself right now :( Im actually quite good at going to the supermarket and walking down the chocolate isle and not buying anything, but Im just rubbish at losing weight.

Anyway going to have a look at MFP to see if its any better than food focus.

FartBlossom the thing about cutting down is great in principle but for me it's not disciplined enough and I find myself slipping an extra bit here and there..I think I need more structure.

However, something I did try once which is very helpful if someone else is doing the cooking/food prep is this. In your imagination, divide your plate into 3 sections. Then you divide your food between the 3 sections you've visualised.
There's a diagram here :
www.labrada.com/blog/labrada-news/howto-choose-lean-body-foods/
please note I haven't read the page at all so Im not recommending anything in there, just the diagram so you can visualise it.

I used that method on a long trip abroad a few years ago, when normally I'd have gained a lot of weight because I had no control over what I was being offered to eat and it worked quite well.
If only I had the self discipline to practice what I preach!

It is easy, actually. You have to be in the mindset to cut your portion size. Why should you not eat potato if that's what you like to eat??? Why should you not eat bread if you fancy that one day??? Life is for living. Not for calorie counting, or cutting out specific foods from your daily lives. You have to wonder how people did during the War. Oh that's right, they had Food Ration cards. They had to just cut back on what they ate. You didn't have a choice about stopping eating one type of food, and increasing the other. Plenty women looked slim in those years! Back to basics, folks, back to basics.

DH is so unsupportive I can't not have the portions on my plate

Eh? What will he do/say? You're an adult, surely you get to choose what you have on your plate and, ultimately, eat? He doesn't need to cook anything different for you, you just need to cut out the carbs.

Tonight you say you are having fish and mash. Can't you just have the fish and the veg? Or just an ice cream scoops worth of mash?

You say you could try filling up on other things and saying you're full but what would you fill up on before a meal? See, if I'd tried that then I'd have gone for biscuits or bread lol, it would've been pretty counter productive!

The trouble I've found with potatoes/pasta/rice etc is that very few people realise exactly how much a small portion is. When I first weighed out a small portion of pasta I could literally count how many pieces were in the bowl - I would've probably had 4 times that amount and not thought twice about it. And I don't even have a big appetite! If you want to start by just cutting down your portion sizes then you'll need to learn what sizes they should be firstly.

I don't wish to be rude but you do seem to have a lot of excuses. I've been there and it's hard but you have to bite the bullet. If you're unhappy with your weight (or don't want it to increase) then the only way to address that is to eat less in general I'm afraid.

it's that hard for me too, honest. i can put on 2lbs if i eat a portion of bloody chips.

It's a mindset, i have for the first time in my life stuck to it for 4 months, and have lost, purely from my diet.

myfitnesspal. i eat a cornetto everyday, i have toast, i have peanut butter, i just couldn't deprive myself, and i would be well depressed if it was a rule that i couldn't have a certain food ever again.

have you tried it?

fart, (sorry!)

my right frame of mind came when i thought, no no way am i getting bigger than this, because the weight has been creeping up and up over the last few yrs.

i just could see how sad i would feel to have to get the next size up jeans, which would have been an 18!!

i just thought, no way, i am so short and what next, keep going like this and i will be buying a 20??.

i had no idea how carb heavy my diet was till i started logging in to myfitnesspal.

It's rather worrying that you feel you can't cut down on these foods, or ask your dh not to include them on your plate. I don't want to come over all 'Relationships Topic' on you, but it sounds a bit controlling of him. Why does he care if you don't want to eat chocolate?

My dp sometimes gets a bit eye-rolly about low-carb but he's basically supportive and understands that what I eat is my business. It's no skin off his nose if I choose to eat salad instead of rice with his 'famous' home-cooked chili, is it?

Its not that he makes me eat food or anything, its just that his reaction is as though Im being silly and shouldnt deny myself food if I want it.

Lowering my carbs is not what I want to do. I dont know what I want to do, I honestly dont think Im in the right frame of mind ATM. Think Im going to have to get used to just being slightly bigger than I want to be. I wish I actually liked salad, it would be a whole lot easier

Ive been on MFP today and I am under my allowance so far, but Ive still yet to eat.

FBlossom do you mean you haven't eaten anything all day so far?

I think you need to learn to be a bit more assertive with DH. From his point of view, he's probably thinking 'here we go again, another diet that FB wont stick to'. I know that's how my exH used to feel when I started a new diet. So I learned to not mention it but it was easy because I did all the food shopping and prep etc. If he noticed I wasn't having a dessert I'd just say I was already full or something. For you it is a bit more difficult because your DH is preparing the meals, but you need to try to talk to him about this.You may never get the support you want though...

no I meant my tea. I can see how it looks. Best see if I can find my fish and mash on MFP

Its a good theory, but I get the impression its more like he rolls eyes at me wanting to eat something and not letting myself because I dont want to put on that weight. He just doesnt get why people want to diet at all, well those like me who are just overweight and not obese.

ok thanks FB, I was a bit worried then! Good luck with MFP.

don't want to get all psychological on you but it could be that your DH is happy with you just how you are, which in one way is a good thing, but it could be for less philanthropic reasons than just him loving and accepting you just as you are.

Last year I was 13 and a half stone, this year I am 9 stone. I said to myself it is my hand that is putting food into my mouth and I am the only one who can do anything about my weight.
I didn't think I could ever lose weight but once I took responsibility for what I was eating instead of blaming others or my circumstances etc it actually wasn't that bad.
I cut all crap and low carbed.
Good luck.