Self-sabotage - can you help please????

[Rooble]

I really don't understand why it's happening, but essentially have lost two stones and gone from BMI 31 to 25, only have a little more to achieve, maybe half a stone.
For some reason I have recently had a compulsion to comfort-eat absolute crap. I seem to be totally losing control - somehow for six months I had great willpower and now it's vanished. Don't understand it, because I get absolutely no pleasure from the comfort eating: it leaves me over-full, feeling sick and sometimes shaky (if it was eg v sugary).
Does anyone know what I'm doing and how I can get myself back under control? This is really horrible and leaves me full of self-loathing and actually pretty miserable :(

Oh rooble, I sympathise. I had a terrible time in my 20s with eating issues, compulsive eating being but one of them. But, bloody well done you in the weight loss, that is a fantastic achievement!

Apart from the obvious try not to have crap stuff in the house to hand, are you trying too much to cut down food outside of the comfort eating? So like a starve and binge cycle? Try and get back into good eating, but don't restrict too much at first, and it may help you to curb the urge to binge on bad stuff due to being hungry.

If you have a bad day, try and leave that day where it is. A big problem for me was thinking I'd blown it and what was the point in trying and one bad day turned into another and then another.

I'm over 10 years out of this nightmare now and I still sometimes have to pinch myself my days aren't ruled by food and dieting. I got some help for it in the end, but if I was able to get a handle on it, seriously you can, hell anyone can

Threesteps, thank you - yes, generally try to keep bad stuff out of the house, but tomorrow is my DS's birthday party, so I've been baking for it.
What kind of help did you get in the end? Sometimes I wonder whether my weight is more a psychological issue than a physical one - I have an urge to eat when I'm absolutely not hungry at all. I can't explain it. Usually when I'm alone, which is a bit of a nuisance as DH works away from home several days a week. Before I lost weight I thought I ought to do some NLP or something to get back in control of my brain, but I really don't know what's for the best.

How much wheat have you been eating? Gluten gets broken down into morphine like peptides which actually bind to your morphine receptors and can trigger compulsive eating. Try just cutting out wheat for two weeks to see if that helps, make sure you check everything for wheat before you eat it because the stuff's in everything and if you're still getting some then it won't work.

Have a read of Wheat Belly for more on what wheat does to you. Escape the diet trap is also a good read and can help you break free of the diet-binge cycle.

Wow, thanks will do - Don't have a ludicrous amount (I think) - maybe at one meal per day. Either bread at lunchtime or pasta in the evening. I will take a look

I would think this is quite common after a diet, and why people pile the weight back on when they come off one. Your body has thought there was a famine, and now it senses it is over and is trying to get as many calories as possible into you in case it happens again. Our bodies are programmed to guard against starvation, not obesity, so don't worry, you're not going mad...it's natural.

Why not try Paul McKenna? He uses NLP principles and it has worked for me.

There's a great opportunity then to put the "one bad day does not a bad week make" into practice Happy birthday to your DS by the way!

I was eventually referred through the NHS to an eating disorder clinic as an outpatient. I lived in London at the time and it was the Maudsley, which is a fantastic place. I had bombed from not eating at all to binge eating and everything in between. It was massively psychological for me too. I binged so that I didn't have the energy to face normal life and the fact I was unhappy, then I tried to not eat to compensate, and so it went on. Would a trip to the GP help? Might CBT help do you think? but that wouldn't help you get to the root of why you sabotage, if you think it is psychological.

I really couldn't tell you why things seemed to click for me, but somehow they did. I can't remember anything specific about the counselling that was the lightbulb moment. There was lots of talk about my childhood, school, family etc.

I still have days where I eat all the wrong stuff, and lots of it. But I don't think about it the next day (mostly!) and usually it rights itself. in terms of a lightbulb moment, that's probably been mine. My diet on the whole is pretty good. I'm intolerant of 'white' stuff (pasta, bread etc.) so eat a lot of wholemeal and am veggie, so lots of quorn.

Sorry if none of this is helpful! I just wanted to post to say there is a way through. Keep trying, every day is a new day

Ah now what QueenStromba has said ties in with why I may have managed to sort myself out - although I do eat wholewheat.

And her advice is far more practical!

Rooble are you me? Because I could have written that word for word, except that I went and put a stone and a half back on (between September and jan) and I'm gutted. I was so happy being slimmer, yet I sabotaged myself at every turn. I dont know why I do it. I put food in, I dont taste it, I dont want it. But I do it anyway :(

I was also going to recommend:

a) Wheat Bell - explains why wheat is addictive
b) Potatoes not Prozac - more on addiction, more sugar focussed
c) South beach diet - its not low carb, more low GI but has a 2 week low carb induction which should help you get over the cravings you are having.

I also agree Paul Mckenna, or Lisa Jackson's CDs (she has one on getting over a bad diet bit) - see Adore Yourself Slim.

Gosh, thank you everyone. Will definitely take a look at those books. I'm a bit scared of Paul McKenna - have his book, but only tried listening to the CD once and it made me feel a bit strange (have epilepsy and need to avoid situations of semi-consciousness!), but everything he said made sense to me.
Right, off to Amazon I go. Thank you all so much!