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Weight loss chat

A space to talk openly about weight loss journeys and challenges. Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. You may wish to speak to a medical professional before starting any diet.

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Original poster

how/why have I put on a stone?

44 replies

takingbackmonday · 17/02/2012 09:34

Yet not increased in size?

I haven't done any exercise really for a month because I was abroad/lazy and I weighed myself this morning, I've put on a stone but am exactly the same size (measured, clothes fit the same etc) aside an extra 2 cup sizes. Surely they cannot amount to a stone and if not WTAF? Where have they come from? I haven't been eating any more and have pretty much stopped drinking around the same time I stopped 3 x week gym. CONFUSED.

Gym today. I feel like beast.

OP posts:

QuietOhSoQuiet · 17/02/2012 19:27

Oh no you don't want to die,remeber your proud dad

and I am only guessing here but he would probably be just as proud of you for making the right descision whatever it may be

is your dp with you right now as you need to be telling him this so he is fully aware of how much shock you are in

Original poster

takingbackmonday · 17/02/2012 19:31

Believe me, it's thinking about him that makes me want to. I am a failure. An absolute failure. Spent the afternoon/Dr with DP after you wonderful ladies suggested what this might be. He could not be better. He'll be back over soon. I can't have it but I can't not. If I do I will be such a huge amount destroy the life I planned, wanted and could have - but would have another equally as wonderful in some ways but so much harder in others. I don't know. All i really know is i hate myself for being so insanely stupid and have no idea how this possibly happened because I could not have been more careful. Oh fuck.

OP posts:

Becaroooo · 17/02/2012 19:32

I am guessing your dad would be a very proud grandad too?

You arent evil.

Only you know what you can cope with.

Good luck x

Original poster

takingbackmonday · 17/02/2012 19:36

wildly proud were i married. Now he would have to deal with this with noone to talk to.

Thank you for your help. I really don't want to burden you anymore.

OP posts:

QuietOhSoQuiet · 17/02/2012 19:37

you are not a failure,I can identify with everything you are feeling,I thought my head would explode thinking about this descision,whatever you decide there will always be regrets about what could have been

give yourself time,you only found out today,be kind to yourself

and for the love of god get the idea you are a failure out of your head once and for all

GColdtimer · 17/02/2012 19:43

You don't sound emotionally illiterate or incompetent to me. Quite the opposite. Don't panic. You do have some time to really consider your options. I totally get why you feel the way you do about your father but if your relationship with him is strong, which it sounds, you will get through it, whatever you decide.

I came back from a trip round the world with a little bit more than I bargained for (aged 25, 15 years ago) I had a termination and it was the right thing to do but sometimes I have a real moment of"what if". Honestly, take your time.

MrsHoarder · 18/02/2012 07:29

Hope you're doing ok OP. Just wanted to share my experience of dealing with my uni this year. I am doing a post-grad masters, not a PhD, but I suspect your uni will have similar policies for PhD students once you start looking. This is only if being worried about the impact on your studies is a big problem. If mental health/new relationship worries massively outweight this then ignore my comments

I have been granted an interuption of study where all financial agreements (fees and bursary) are put on hold wihlst I take leave, the university has been very helpful and have given me time to sort myself out.

Is the "head of admin(or whoever sorts out financial/organisational stuff) in your department sympathetic? I went to mine at 5 weeks pregnant and basically said "I might be pregnant, what arrangements can the uni put in place if I am?" They would much rather explain how the uni could help you than you struggle to work things out alone. Failing that usually these type of policies are on the uni website: search and find out what the policy is.

But take the weekend/a few days to think about things. Talk it over with your partner, seriously investigate the practicalities and give yourself time to recover from the shock before you make a decision. Even better if you can talk to a counsellor about it (again, if you can't find a specialist service, universities often have a counselling service).

ppeatfruit · 18/02/2012 13:20

takeback i've been on MN for over a year now and i have never come across such an amazing thread.This makes me proud to be a mumsetter you have had extraordinarily good advice and support (I don't reckon you'd get such good advice from anywhere else actually). You're in the right place and I wish you all the luck whatever your decision is.

Original poster

takingbackmonday · 19/02/2012 11:33

You are all incredible. What ppeatfruit says is entirely true. Thank you so very much.

I don't know what to do but I feel a lot calmer.

OP posts:

QuietOhSoQuiet · 19/02/2012 11:47

am so glad taking

if you need a shoulder to cry on or just to have a rant then resurrect this thread,I am sure we will all be here for you to bend our ears :)

cece · 19/02/2012 11:55

How about adoption? I know maybe not a popular choice these days, but may offer a solution for you?

Original poster

takingbackmonday · 19/02/2012 12:01

adoption? no. never. I know I couldn't do it.

Thanks quiet.

OP posts:

TheSecondComing · 20/02/2012 14:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

takingbackmonday · 20/02/2012 14:59

I have been for years under various names. I've asked for this to be pulled because it gives too many details away. The advice has been incredible.

OP posts:

goingbacktowork · 20/02/2012 15:28

Please think carefully before doing anything (or not). Will be thinking of you.

TheSecondComing · 20/02/2012 15:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

takingbackmonday · 20/02/2012 15:36

some very insightful and interesting people. I joined 2 years ago and asked advice from wiser people than me on a relationships thread.

OP posts:

goingbacktowork · 20/02/2012 16:16

The reason you are on here is pretty irrelevant. There are lots of very wise people on here always here to help. I hope all works out well for you.

JerichoStarQuilt · 20/02/2012 17:42

I don't know exactly where you are, but it seems very unlikely your university can take away your scholarship. I assume this is a private scholarship, not government funding, but in the UK (and I believe also elsewhere?) you get maternity leave as part of a funded PhD. I know, because it is very, very common for PhD students to get pregnant and take their maternity leave. I would be really surprised if your university doesn't have good rules in place.

You are pretty young to be in your first year (well done!) so I can see it may feel a bit more strange to you than if you were the same age as most of your peers - but I am sure there will be other people in the same boat.

I don't want to get into whether or not this is the right time for you to have a baby as obviously only you can decide that - but purely from a practical standpoint, many people would agree that having a baby during your PhD is a pretty good time to do it!

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