How can I help my friend about weight?

[ameliagrey]

I have a good friend who wants to lose weight. she is obviously touchy over it and tells me how fed up she is with her weight.
However, when I suggest anything constructive- such as joining a slimming club of some kind- or even suggesting how she can adapt her diet ( after she has told me what she has eaten for a meal) she gets very huffy and says leave her alone.

I feel I can't do right- I listen but if I say anything helpful or constructive- she shuts the conversation down.

Why not just do as she has asked and leave her alone. You can't make her take action, she has to be ready to do it for herself. Until then, bite your lip. You can't help her and you are not being constructive, however well-meaning your suggestions may be. Say nothing.

I would say something like, I don't really want to hear you telling me you are fed up with your weight as I find it very frustrating when you get huffy when I make constructive suggestions.

Say nothing she will lose weight when she is ready. It has to come from within.

I would make her feel good about herself .She is probably in a vicious cycle of feeling depressed about her weight , and comforts herself by overeating.Help her break that cycle by complimenting her lots on her hair or something.

It is possibly the tone of voice you are using, she may well feel criticised at worst, patronised at best.

TBH you annoyed people about what they ate on the 'what do you eat thread' last week, and that is on the internet, so perhaps you come across like Gillian McKeith in real life.

In any case, if she tells you to leave her alone, just leave her alone.

there is nothing you can do.
i have a friend who is similar with the added complications of being diabetic and suffering from depression.
It gets hard sometimes when you get the millionth whinge of the day about how down she is and how people judge her on her weight etc etc and sometimes i just want to shake her and say "fgs woman stop eating shit and drinking fizzy drinks and do some exercise!!!"

but there is no point, people have to WANT to change. And until your friend, and mine, actually get to the point where they want it badly enough to change then all we can do is be there for them and reassure them that they are great people and just be shoulder to cry on when things are getting tough.

it's easy when you're looking in from the outside, but it's hard to change your whole lirfe