Do you think people should be honest about weight loss?

[Bluebell99]

I have an acquaintance, another mum who I have known for about ten years, who has lost an incrediable amount of weight this year. She has lost about 8 stone I would say. Because I only see her once a week, I didn't really notice for a couple of of months, but then I mentioned she was looking good and had she lost weight, and she told me that she had given up alcohol as a new years resolution, and then she had got the will power to diet. She told me that she just eats fruit during the day and has a healthy meal in the everning. On top of this she is walking for an hour a day and swimming a few times a week. She has done incrediably well. I feel it isn't really any of my business how she has done it, but I have a couple of friends who struggle with their weight, and I have about a stone to loss. Anyway, my friend was saying today, that she thought my acquaintance was being dishonest about her weight loss. She said if I then tried to loss the weight following her example, I wouldn't be able to, and would would feel a failure. The acquaintance looks fab now, probably a size 10, half her previous size. My friend thinks she must have done lighter life or had a gastric band.

If she has lied, she's doen it for her own reasons. But it's still a great achievement. Why do you have to base your weight loss on her example anyway? Regardless of how she did it, why not jst use how great she now looks and feels and want a little bit of that for yourself. It is entirely possible she just got fed up of being overweight, snapped, and put her mind to it. I lost 5 stone over less than a year, taking me from a size 20 to a 10, through sheer bloody mindedness, I'd hate for people to think I'd had some kind of surgery or been dishonest.

What an odd thing to say! Your acquaintance sounds like she's worked hard and done mainly sensible things to lose the weight (I'm not entirely sure just eating fruit during the day is well balanced but I'm sure it would work).
1

This sounds like a fairly common reaction from people who need (or want) to lose weight but find it hard - it is a bit of 'jealousy' on their part - lots of people say they 'can't' lose weight but it is usually because they won't put the effort it. It sounds as though your acquaintance has done really well, giving up alcohol, doing lots of exercise and a (reasonably) healthy diet.

My DM often says she 'finds it impossible' to lose weight - because she won't be single minded about it. I know it is very hard - having struggled with my weight for many years - but if you follow a sensible eating plan, smaller portions and increase your exercise levels it will work .

I think it's up to that person if they choose to tell other people how they lost their weight.
I agree that it sounds like jealousy that your friend said that, but also, though I can't speak for gastric bands as I haven't had one, but doing LL is not the easy route to losing eight. I am doing Cambridge for 4 weeks now and it's the hardest thing I've ever done!! It still takes determination and hard work just in a different way.
Losing weight in the 'normal' way by exercising and healthy eating takes determination and hard work too.
If you're not willing to put the work in then LL or Cambridge won't work either.

How does your friend know how this other lady lost her weight? She doesn't, in fact your friend sounds like one of those people who think she knows everything. It's perfectly possible to lose that amount of weight in that amount of time through giving up alcohol, reducing calories and exercising. Just watch The Biggest Loser, they lose large amounts of weight [okay, they do take exercise to an extreme] in quite short periods of time.
I have heard of people losing quite a bit of weight simply through giving up alcohol, without making any other changes.

I think my friend's reaction was a bit of an overreaction, she actually seemed quite angry about it. Whereas I think the acquaintance has done incrediably well, But just wondering if she could really have done it as she said. However, my friend did do Lighter Life herself and to me she is proof that Lighter life doesn't work long term. She lost three stone, regained two, did the month long quick lost plan, lost one, gained two, and is now about half a stone lighter than original weight. I think the acquaintance, who had been big for many years, drank quite a bit, ate a lot, and did no exercise, so now she has changed all those things, the weight came off easily.

Your angry friend is probably bitter because she's failed at the dieting cycle and wants to believe that dieting doesn't work, rather than that she lacks the motivation and has wasted a load of money on an unsustainable weight loss plan.

I have a colleague who is really focused and has list over 9 stone so far in 16mths on SW. I see the portions of healthy food that she eats and she definitely hasn't had a gasric band!

Oh dear, your friend does sound bitter... Of course it is plausible that your acquaintance lost weight the way she describes. Think about it, if she only eats fruit during the day (quite extreme in terms of difficulty and maybe dodgy wrt nutrients but not the worst approach you could take healthwise), she probably doesn't consume more than 400-500 cals max. Add on a healthy meal with no alcohol, say 800cals and then deduct the hour walking, say 200cals at least (this is all probably worst case figures) leaves around 1200 calories, less the swimming, there is obviously a calorie defecit so she has lost weight.

I agree that whichever way you do it, losing weight is hard and needs commitment. I also agree that extreme diets, particularly those which replace real food, are terrible, I am sure 99% of people using them gain more weight again afterwards because they learn nothing about what their body actually needs in terms of food type and portion size and proper exercise. I think it is your friend that needs to be honest, most likely starting with herself.

I lost 4 stone last year and everyone asked me how I did it. I generally gave the short answer (low carb, low fat and lots of exercise) but when you are sticking to a diet for ages its not that straightforward and you don't go into nitty gritty when random people ask - for me the nitty gritty was weighing EVERYTHING I ate and logging on myfitnesspal and sticking to 1200 calories a day every day.

I don't see why the friend was lying, although the diet doesn't sound especially healthy. If you have a calorie deficit you lose weight. The maths add up roughly to - an 8 stone loss over a year = 392,000 calories (3,500 x 14 x 8) so daily deficit of around 1000 calories. Assuming maintenance is 1800 and she was doing 200 calories of exercise a day (in reality she was probably doing more) then she was eating 1,000 calories a day.

Assume 6 pieces of fruit at 80 calories = 480 + healthy meal = 500. So I think it sounds about right and if your friend really stuck to that she probably did lose etc.

HOWEVER that type of diet (high in fruit sugar, eating one proper meal) would not work for everyone, but that doesn't mean the friend was lying.

Meal replacements can work if after you've lost the weight you stay within your daily allowance, just like if you'd have lost the weight on SW or WW. You can't go back to eating the way you did before because you ate enough to maintain the body of an overweight person, go back to the same number of calories as before and you'll end up the same weight as before.

It's very important to go through maintenance on Cambridge (I can't speak for any other weight plan) as this slowly introduces you back to food once you've lost the weight and does teach you about how much food you should be eating to maintain your new weight and what your portion sizes should be and which foods are the best and healthiest to choose.

Like any other diet, if you put on weight after it's because it's what you have chosen to do - nobody has forced you to put that food in your mouth.

The best thing for me about the meal replacements is that I know that I want to eat food even though I am not hungry, there is no actual need for it and if I can survive all the stresses strains of life which would normally have me reaching for the biscuit tin, without eating food to 'comfort' me, then when I go back to eating normally I know that I don't need to comfort or stress eat.
Also, as I eat when I am not hungry I am learning that what I think is hunger is not - my head hunger is very different from stomach hunger.

But it's not for everyone, and it can only help as much as you want and allow it to help just like every other diet or eating plan out there - it's not a magic wand but gives you tools' it's up to you how you choose to use the tools.

I don't really have experience of losing that amount of weight, but I think if someone has gone from being very sedentary and overeating/drinking a lot, to one meal a day and regular exercise, it makes sense that they would have lost weight. A lot of weight, if they were able to stick to that for a year.

Only she knows for sure what the truth is, but it doesn't sound like there's any reason to think she's lying. Your friend sounds very negative and jealous. Quite possibly she's feeling discouraged by her own efforts to lose weight though, I know it can really get you down.

I cannot see how someone could lose eight stone without a drastic, drastic diet. Lighter Life, I bet. But do you really care? It is a private matter. Why should she tell other people?

1000 calories a day is pretty drastic refereeza!

No its not. Isnt the recommended calorie intake 1600 or 1800 or something. that's the equivalent of missing one meal / reducing portion sizes. No way could you lose EIGHT STONE in so short a time doing that. No way.

But presumably she was very overweight to start with (if she had 8 stone to lose) so it must have been a drastic reduction from what she used to eat, i.e. what she needed to maintain her previous weight. I would imagine the weight would come off pretty quickly in that case, especially adding in daily exercise - again the exercise might not seem much, but probably a lot more than she was doing before, and for an extremely heavy person even walking must use a lot of calories!

I don't know, it's hard for me to imagine really as 8st is almost my entire body weight, it does seem like an incredible amount! But it doesn't sound impossible to me.

Refereezer when you're bigger it takes more calories just to maintain your weight, so any loss is always quicker, particularly if you add in exercise.

How long did it take your friend? I lost a lot of weight after dd1 in a relatively short space of time. Around 5 stone in 6 months I'd guess. I worked bloody hard to get it off, exercising every night + walking and drastically cutting calories by eating only fresh foods. It was perfectly maintainable, if I hadn't have met DH . It wasn't easy, by any stretch of the imagination.

T'is very similar to what I am doing now. I just hope it works again.

Absolutely Ephiny and Dooin, if you weigh 250lbs (18st) you need to consume at least 2200 cals a day with little or no exercise to maintain that weight. It also takes a calorie defect of 3,500 to lose 1lb whatever you weigh.

So friend's defect, assuming she was 18st and without the benefit of exercise, would be 1200 per day on her diet, which would equate to less than 3lbs a week loss for 40 weeks to get to 8st, as I say without the additional benefit of the exercise...sounds plausible to me.

"No its not. Isnt the recommended calorie intake 1600 or 1800 or something. that's the equivalent of missing one meal / reducing portion sizes. No way could you lose EIGHT STONE in so short a time doing that. No way."

Lets say maintainance is 1800 and she did 200 exercise (she might have done more) and she ate 1000 each day. She'd have a daily deficit of 1000 calories each day.

The weight would come off at one pound every 3.5 days.
8 stone = 112 pounds = 392 days (13 months).

Totally possible. Infact maintenance is probably higher with a starting weight of 18 stone, so she might have eaten more and lost in shorter time.

It would be totally doable in a year, but as her weight came down she probably wouldn't lose weight at the same rate as she did when she was bigger. But the weight would probably fly off at first then slow down a bit but it would still add up to the same loss over that period. But it must have been hard to do it, not a lot of cheating!!

I have just lost 47 lbs in the last 6 months (13 and a half stone to 10 stone 2) and have just started to have loads of people ask me how I did it. I have just given quick answer and say dieting rather than go into a long account of a 3 stage plan I have come up with, especially if I don't know them that well. But I have felt the people who have asked me have wanted me to say something like 'i have a gastric band' or another drastic measure. I have felt quite uncomfortable at times. I just think your post illustrates how bitchy rather than pleased women can be to each other.

Really if you lose weight at the recommended safe rate of 1-2 pounds/week then it wouldn't even be that unusual to lose around 7 stones [98 pounds]over a year.

Sounds doable to me.

I know a guy who has lost over 6 stone in 8 months by cutting back on carbs & swimming every day. He still drinks beer regularly but has cut right back on chocolate & sweet foods