Just saw a photo of me from the back on FB, am so embarassed and need help

[angelinterceptor]

That's it really, I am a bit fed up with my weight anyway and attended the wedding of good friends of ours in September. The bride has just uploaded lots of photos onto facebook and tagged me, otherwise i might not even have seen them.

I look much much bigger than I thought in them. I am very overweight and trying really hard to do something about it - but please can anyone offer extra help?

I have signed up to visiting the nurse at our Drs surgery - its a bit humiliating and not much help as she is a bit old school and not really into any of the up-to date ideas on loosing weight. She thinks just eat less and it will fall off - well that aint working.

I am trying low carbing - after trying and failing to follow harcombe diet during the summer.

typical meals at the moment are:
Breakfast
Porridge or omelette or bacon

lunch
home made soup - take to work in a flask
fruit salad and yogurt

dinner/tea
chicken and veg
chilli (no rice)

I have more or less given up diet coke, and drink only water or lemon & ginger tea.

I dont have snacks with me at work - although i am craving crips or biscuits. The worst time for me is when i leave to pick up the DC, at 3pm and then make them snacks & tea.

please, please can anyone help or support me

You haven't mentioned exercise. Are you doing any? i think you need to be doing some exercise every day where you are getting out of breath.

Sorry you are feeling this way this morning but I am glad it is not just me. I have decided today is the day I change my life - I am fed up being fat and not being able to buy nice clothes and feel pretty. I am very active so increasing excercise is not going to help. I eat too much, particularly carbs. I am well aware of my greed and this is what I intend to change. Perhaps we could use this thread as a motivational one? Today I intend to clean house from top to bottom kitchen cupboards, wardrobe, everthing. Thinking behind this is tidy mind, tidy body.

For the next 5 days I will be following the Cambridge Diet, I have some left over from my last failed attempt at losing weight and hope that it will get me out of the habbit of eating carbs and come Saturday intend to follow a healthy eating plan.

Having read threads on here this morning I have signed up to My Fitness Pal - it looks great and best of all is free!

This is the last time I will attempt to lose weight - I will be a yummy mummy!

Mabye we should post some stats - then show weekly weight loss if you are up for it?

What you are eating should mean you are losing weight, without a doubt, especially as you are "very overweight".

There may be different systems for weight loss that you prefer, or that suit your lifestyle/tastes etc better than others -im a big fan of low carb myself - but the fact is "just eat less" should work.

Are you keeping a food diary? You say the worst time for you is 3pm, does that mean you are snacking at those times?

the typical meals sound OK, except that you are not saying how big they are.

I've only been successful when I feel a bit hungry all the time which does increase the temptation. Plus daily exercise of course. Much easier if it is directed or purposeful.

Having fruit, and sugar-free fruit drinks constantly available does help.

sorry, just been busy at work and ferrying the DC about.

Portion size I think is not too bad, specially now I have taken out the pasta and rice which i used to have every night, or the sandwiches maybe every other day.

so far, in about 2-3 months, i have lost about 6KG which is hardly anything, and you certainly can't notice it!

Excercise wise, i have been walking about 35-40 mins about 5 times a week, plus 2 or 3 sessions of tennis (some singles which is very hard, some doubles where you might not even get out of breath).

Today i forgot to bring my lunch to work, which meant by the time i got home at 4pm, i had eaten 4 or 5 of my DDs wotsits and then 5 ritz crackers without even noticing them.

I have a recurring achilles problem which is hampering the exercise, as anymore than 40mins walking or trying to run jog means I am crippled for the next 24/36 hours.

I can't afford to join a gym, and only really have time for exercise once DH comes home, so say after 7pm-ish

I just dont really know how to keep going, when nothing seems to get a decent result.

my so called friend in a drunken moment last year, suggested surgery to me, and that she would come with me - ever since my very low self esteem has reached rock bottom, as now i just imagine everyone is thinking that i am a big fat cow.

I used to be average sized, very sporty and comfortably around 10.5 stone for my 5'7" height i think that is about OK - now 10 years later i am nearer 15 stone, actually I dont know because i do it in KG.

I do not want to be fat forever, I went on a big 'trip of a lifetime' holiday last year to New Zealand and looking through the hundreds of photos and there are i think about 3 of me - which will be deleted anyway.

sorry, feeling reallly sorry for myself - have tried food focus and my fitness pal and so on, but never really stick at it long enough. Might try the food diary again - but it wont help me with the craving and lack of willpower.

I mean I still have to eat - its not like giving up alcohol or smoking where you can cut it out completley.

I really don't know that much about dieting but please don't take what your friend said as a blow to your self esteem. She probably had her 'practical' head on and thought she was saying something sensible. Sometimes we want people to listen to our problems but they think they are under pressure to come up with a solution. I am quite sure that people do not have the thoughts you mentioned about your size.

Have you had a check with the GP to rule out any problems that would stop you losing weight?

Also, please don't destroy your holiday photos. that's so sad

What about alcohol? There is a lot calories in beer, cider and wine, I think. Def stay clear of diet drinks - they have artifical sweetners in them which are bad for your body - you can search on MN for threads on aspartame.

You say you don't stick long on a certain diet - perhaps you need to pick one and give it a longer shot. Hope I am being helpful [hblush]

thanks trickycat - its always helpful to get constructive advice and thoughts.

Yes I have all clear from Dr, there is nothing other than slow lazy metabolism and lack of will power and determination to see this through.

Its hard, because i never had a weight problem until I hit my 30s, i always kind of despised heavy fat people - me and DH used to joke to each other and say things like "shoot me if i ever get that big" !! and now shamefully I am that big. Size 18/20 and over 100kg (never admitted that to anyone in RL)

I am going to try the MFP that lots of people on here recomend and that combined with the low carbing, which even if it doesnt help lose weight, makes you feel better without all the white processed bread, pasta etc

I lost a stone this summer. I gave up bread, pasta, cheese and potatoes last spring. Just ate small portions of grilled fish, lots of salad and green veg, and small amounts of rice. Had the dukon gallette thing for a treat with smoked salmon a couple of times.
My main rule is to eat for the last time in the day at around 6pm and no later. No food at all after that; just hot water and lemon or orange juice.
No wine or beer or G&Ts either I'm afraid.
For treats it's raisins or other dried fruit (though be careful; some of them are covered in palm oil which can't be good.) Nuts are good too though not dry roasted ones obvs.
I keep in lots of rice cakes, tinned fish in brine, thin soup and fruit so there's always some thing 'good' to eat. I was on a lot of oatcakes too, which I think gave me the runs eventually so have eased off (although maybe that's how I lost the weight )
For the first few weeks I was quite dizzy, irrational and bad tempered at times. My body was adjusting I guess. It didn't feel safe to drive sometimes but things have evened out now. I do have a few treats (vanilla slice last week, been thinking about it for months!).
But I think you have to change your way of thinking and your attitude towards food. Looking at other people and thinking they eat too much helped me a lot. Develop your inner snob, it's ok, you don't have to tell anyone!

BTW I've worked on my relationship with grapefruit and try to make that my meal once a day, doesn't matter which one it is. Now I really look forward to it1

You say you've lost 6 kgs already - that's about 1 stone. That's good! If you have a lot to lose then there is no quick way of doing it ( that wouldn't be healthy anyway). You just have to keep going and you will get there in the end.

That said, I know it can be very difficult staying motivated. I personally wouldn't chose a diet that excludes any of the food groups as in my experience that just leads to cravings for those foods. Especially excluding carbs just gives me a horrible empty feeling that usually ends up with me scoffing a pile of hot buttered toast!!

Hopefully the photos of your friends wedding will give you the boost that you needed. Maybe you had been kidding yourself about the extent of your problem as you say you looked much bigger than you thought.

I, for one, am wishing you all the best x

If you want low carbing, come and join us on our low carb thread. Can't do a linky at the mo as I'm on my Phone, but lots of supportive people who know their stuff. It is all or nothing with low carbing but it works. When I get home I'll link you properly. But you'd be warmly welcomed

Wow I can't thank you all so much for your messages of hope!
I am feeling positive again and been for a walk.

Just got to tackle these snacks now