Deep breath.. I am REALLY REALLY FAT

[ButWhyIsTheGinGone]

And I have used every excuse to justify it to myself: I'm big boned, I've got big boobs which weigh lots (I know!) In reality, I am 5 foot 7 and size 20 - no idea what I weigh but I have a hideous suspicion I may cry when I find out.

I'm just posting really because I am SICK of being this way. I get out of breath embarrassingly quickly and photos of myself...well... I can't even look at them. Whereas I used to get a fair bit of attention, men don't even look at me now. (I know it's not a huge reason, but it matters.) Oddly enough, all I want is to get back down to a 14/16 when I know is the size I looked my best.

I live alone and do find it hard to cook healthily, but am guilty of STUPIDLY at the end of work running to Tesco and getting a pizza, smothering it with crap and eating the whole thing. I buy items like bread and brie, then sit there munching away at it all night. And I wonder why I look like this!!!

A Slimming World club is starting 500 yards from my front door tomorrow - would anyone mind giving me their opinion on it? I want to get myself eating and feeling better - I'm sick of waking up in the morning after a late night binge and feeling like crap. I also want to join a gym - £40 I can't really afford but I need to change myself.

If you've read all the way through my self-pitying rant, you have the patience of a saint! Only joined MN recently, so going to have a trawl through these slimming topics. Thanks for reading and any advice would be gratefully received.

I am 5ft 7 and size 24. I used to be bulimic, then a binge eater without the being sick. I also used laxatives.
Now I try to make good choices, one meal at a time and I keep track of my calories on my iphone each day, even the not so good stuff gets logged. I decided not to join SW or WW or anything like that because I dont believe in diets, this has to be forever. Which is why sometimes its ok to eat pizza. Its all about learning what I really like to eat because I enjoy it, when I really am hungry and trying different ways to manage stress without stuffing my face.
I have lost just over a stone this year.
One thing that does help is to decide before each meal what I am going to eat and how much. I also dont carry cash and leave my debit card at home if I am in danger of buying and eating junk. I also make a food plan for the week and try to stick to it, only shopping once a week.
Good luck

Op, This site is good, and totally free. You can eat what you like, just stay within the calories.

One thing that does help is to decide before each meal what I am going to eat and how much. I also dont carry cash and leave my debit card at home if I am in danger of buying and eating junk.

This is me all over! I just have no bloody restraint - I can't even grab a coffee from McDonalds on the way to work without it turning into a full blown breakfast. It's rubbish because you wake up so full of self hate. :(

5inthebed thank you for the site recommendation - I will check it out now!

OP - slimming world will work, and is fairly simple, I'd say go for it! The gym too. You'll notice a difference really quickly.

Have done slimming world twice, after DCs 1 and 2. One thing I would say about slimming world is that I'm not sure it reforms basic eating habits in that you can still stuff your face, just only of certain foods e.g. you could have the world's biggest cous cous and roasted veg or ginormous beans and jacket on a green day and I don't think it encourages you to look at portion size. I think weightwatchers is better for that (am now doing that after DC3).

ButWhyIsTheGinGone The first step is posting here and feeling you want to do something so well done for that. In terms of the slimming club - if money is limited I'd see if you can do it yourself either using food focus or myfitnesspal both free. But if you can't do it yourself then it may well be money well spent. Why not give yourself a deadline - if I'm not on track by say end of July with a consistent 2lb week weight loss then I'll join the slimming club?

Make a shopping list for tesco before you go in, and buy broccoli and haddock instead of pizza!

I also recommend Paul McKenna, as its very helpful for motivation, I am good now at saying - I will not eat anything as I am not hungry! Also if you are hungry it is ok sometimes to have pizza, as long as its a normal sized portion, you stop when you are full and you eat it as you actually are hungry.

In terms of the gym, personally I'd wait until the autumn if money is tight. At this time of year, and at the start of your "diet" you can walk outside whilst the weather is good. Also look at the money you are not spending each day, by not going into McDonalds in the first place.

Are you me? Am pg at the mo but after DS and before this pg I did lose 20lb on alli. I was sooooo scared of shitting myself there was no way I was going to eat too much fat. Used weight loss resources website and the gym. It dropped off tbh and I will be doing the same after BFing this baby. I want to be a 14/16 too, just to be able to shop where I want and wear decent jeans. Good luck - have you thought of thd GP?

Thanks for these bits of advice - I will have a think about the gym, it's at least going to have to wait until next month now anyway. I work in a school so have the whole summer off - no excuse for not getting off my bum and going for some nice walks, but it would be amazing to lose a bit before summer hols.

I'm also taking on board the advice given about Paul McKenna and Slimming World. I have the PM book and CD, will be listening to this tonight and getting the book out again as it just made SO much sense. I just want to be able to buy food, open it and NOT feel the need consume the entire packet. I have eaten whole packets of cheese before and have had enough of it! Sick of feeling so envious of my slim friends.

Thank you all for replying to my posts, I think I will turn up at the SW meeting tomorrow and listen to what they have to say. This is IT - by the end of the year I want to be able to look at myself and think YES!!!

Paha, sorry TrickyWoo but did have to laugh at the Alli comment - I don;t think I could bear the tension, I'd be walking round with frozen buttocks all day too scared to sneeze or laugh.... Having said that, would you recommend Alli at all? I've never really considered it...

Oh the shopping thing is a powerful incentive, as well. I live in a small town with only two women's clothes shops (in my price range) and it is devastating knowing that not one pair of trousers in my whole town will fit me...

I wouldn't know what to say to the GP - a bit scared of a lecture really. At least my bloop pressure is fine - got that checked last week when went for my depo.

I recommend you join a thread here (or keep this one going) and try myfitnesspal

If you can't go from grabbing a pizza to cooking healthy, try one of the supermarkets fresh meals. They don't even have to be the diet ones, just healthier than pizza. Grab a salad and a yoghurt too and that won't be as bad as a whole load of greasy junk and you'll feel full.

What do you have for lunch, breakfast and snacks? If you eat high sugar or processed carbs, I find you crave more of that type of junk. It becomes a bit of a cycle.

If gym membership is too expensive, try swimming or a weekly class and regular brisk walks or exercise dvd.

Good luck

Gin- welcome aboard!

My tuppence-worth is Gillian Riley and her book 'Eating Less'. It is by no means a diet as in Day one, fruit salad and 52g of Special K for breakfast etc etc; it is a re-examination of why we overeat and why, once we go off the prescriptive diet we regain the weight.

It's hard in that it isn't prescriptive, there's no eat this, don't eat that. It's all about looking into ourselves as to why we can't stop once that first biscuit crosses our lips. So there's some soul searching. There's also a 'ban' on the use of scales, because Gillian feels that we need to want to lose weight for ourselves, our health, our self-esteem, but weekly weigh ins point towards the obvious 'what I look like to other people'- ie we measure our worth by others opinion. A happy by-product of eating healthily and mindfully for ourselves is weight loss.

Of course, she does issue caveats regarding what we should be eating but in my opinion, there aren't many women who genuinely don't realise that an apple is a better choice than a slice of pizza!

So the upside is nothing is banned, the flip side is before we choose what we will eat , we need to pay heed to what the consequences will be, like feeling disgusted with ourselves, feeling bloated, feeling like a failure. We have to take responsibility. In this way we might decide that actually, I choose not to feel that way, therefore I won't eat the pizza (or I will eat a small slice then leave the rest), I will choose something that will enhance my sense of control, of well being, of self-esteem.

It's my opinion that habits formed by decades of over eating (or poor food choices, or absolutely no interest in exercise) can't be undone in a sustainable way, overnight. I wouldn't join a gym, for example, because I can't make time for it to become a permanent part of my life, but I can walk vigorously around the block 4 times a week, say.

Look up GR on Amazon. There are several people following her on this board with loads of good advice, and some seem to be successfully combining her with Paul McKenna, as both ideologies (note I haven't said 'diets'!) work on your mindset as the key to bringing your eating back under control.

Your deciding that Enough is Enough is the first step, well done. Best of luck and keep coming back here!

Slimming World is good & I lost 5 stone on it - if you view it as a way of eating for ever then you'll keep it off.
The gym is great but if money is tight I would recommend Jillian Micheals 30 day Shred DVD - we have a thread on here.

I think all these slimming places are pretty good if you want some support. You could join weight watchers online if you don't want to weigh yourself in front of somebody. When I first lost a lot of weight what stopped me eating enormous portions was by actually looking at the calories and fat on the back of the packet- sometimes it was truly shocking. If you knew exactly how many calories were in a whole block of cheese you would probably find yourself an alternative- even if it wasn't something uber healthy.Good luck.

I am a Slimming World fan. I am 5ft tall and was a size 24. Just over 2 years later and I am a size 12, still classed as overweight according to those BMI charts but alot happier in myself. My original target was a size 16 - I have just carried on following SW, more out of fear of becoming fat again and now find myself as a size 12.

In total I have lost 6 stone. 3 stone of which has come off since the latter part of last year. All thanks to SW.

Your eating habits sound similar to what mine were. I could never eat a biscuit or 2, I would demolish a whole packet, feel like shit about afterwards but still not do much to make the changes.

SW probably is not the best plan to learn about portion control but it is a very healthy and simple weightloss plan to follow and whats more, it can become your life, and to be honest if you follow it properly you need not even feel you are dieting.

I think SW is fab for people like me, who love to stuff my face. I can still do it but with healthy options. I feel full and satisfied and am alot less likely to cheat and get peckish and cave into something I shouldn't.

The classes are expensive but I think they do help me keep on track. I also get so many fab ideas and suggestions, meal plans, recipies, quick fix ideas from other members. I use the internet as well but have to say nothing beats the classes for keeping me on track.

I eat loads of curry with rice, SW chips eggs and beans is anothe fave filling meal of mine. I do not have to weigh my chips or my beans and can have as much as I like and as many eggs as I like. I like Sw because you do not need to weigh and measure alot of foods on it, so its easy to follow for people who cba with fussy plans.

I use my syn allowance for chocolate and wine and perhaps some sauces etc to make some meals more exciting.

I really do highly recommend SW.

If you can't afford the gym and have a fair bit to lose you can ask your GP to give you a prescription for gym membership - my younger sister was given one and pays barely anything. It's probably best to pop to the doctor before starting a weightloss programme anyway, so do make an appointment and ask when you're there!

Good luck! Most people I know have done better with WW than SW due to the portion control issue. When DH and I lost our weight last year I planned meals and bought exactly what we needed, doing 2 shops a week and not popping in for milk and coming out with houmous and wine! I religiously weighed everything we cooked as I had lost all concept of what a portion looked like - and believe me I was shocked at how small it was/how much I had been overeating.

One other thing that really helped DH was having a sweet treat as he has a sweet tooth. The multipacks of chocolate buttons with the teeny bags are a good one - around 80 calories for a chocolate fix and because you have to open a second bag 9 times out of 10 you'll not go back for more. We always have a multipack in the fridge now!

Hope this doesn't throw you into indecision about the best way forward but... you said, "I get out of breath embarrassingly quickly" and this reminded me of something.

I'm on a low-carb diet which I've been on for eight months. I'm doing really well with it and am in it for the long haul. I like it because I find I don't crave high-carb foods when I don't eat them, and I'm never hungry on this diet, or weak or anything.

Anyway... I am the same height as you and started out considerably bigger. I'd assumed the reason why I got out of breath so easily was that I was carrying all that weight AND was hugely unfit. However, within five days of starting the low-carb diet I noticed I could suddenly climb the stairs without being out of breath and without pausing on the way up. Very early on, I also started having the energy to chase the kids around a bit - not like some mums can do, but a bit. Actually running. Obviously I hadn't shed much weight yet, so it must have something to do with eating carbohydrates.

I don't know what the link is between carbohydrates and breathlessness / low energy but a few of my friends have similar stories. So this might be another approach for you to consider. A diet which gives you an energy boost straight away and makes it easier to exercise could be a good thing.

Hi all!
Wow, thankyou so much for your kind responses - feel awful I haven't replied! I think I'm going to tag onto one of the other threads around here for ongoing advice, but just thought I'd update briefly if only for my own sake! I decided against SW as I didnt want to feel tied to their rigid routines for the rest of my life. I've impressed myself with my determination to eat healthily - most nights at the moment consists of some kind of stuffed chicken breast with salad. And I've been replacing fat-soaked roasties with extra broccoli or roast squash. Also trying hard to cut down on the beer! :(
The foodfocus website is fantastic - if a little depressing. You think something's relatively healthy, then the website says otherwise....

The main thing tho, is even tho it's only been a week, and also it's probably psychological, I am starting to FEEL better. Waking up on mornings without feeling like my guts have been slogging away digesting four tons of late night binge is so refreshing. I also feel I have more energy - think Saracen may have been right about the carbs thing.

Finally (definitely psychological) I kind of think when i see my reflection in shop windows that maybe, just maybe, I can see a little bit of difference, so there is hope!

Thanks for all the advice everyone!

I'm in a similar situation to you OP. I'm 5ft6 was size 20 a couple of months ago but have managed to get down to a 16/18 now. I've found exercise has really helped! (sounds obvious! lol). it might be worth looking at the local leisure centre rather than gyms. Where I live (Cardiff) the leisure centre is £22 per month with no joining fee or contract and this gives access to all classes, courts, pools (proper size not tiny like in most gyms) and all the standard gym equipment, weights etc. I've found that having a variety of different ways to exercise has meant that I've stuck with doing stuff whereas whenever I've joined gyms in the past I've just gone and used the cross trainer for a couple of weeks, got bored then wasted my money not going.
maybe pick one class you like the sound of (zumba might be good as its quite fun and not too intimidating?) and give it a go. or try a load of different classes aknd see what you like. the worst that can happen is you don't like a particular class and you don't go again.

It sounds cliched but I always feel better about myself and more awake after exercise. TBH I never thought I could or would enjoy it so much! Sorry this is long but I know how you feel.

Thanks MrsDaDeDee,
I am a bit wary of the local Leisure Centre - am a teacher and can't face parents seeing me flapping around read-faced and sweaty! also the kids I teach hang around there during the hols.... I think the extra tenner a month might be well spent on the gym 10 mins away! :-)

ButWhy, I'm in a similar situation. I'm 5'3"and 18/20. I've been using FoodFocus for the last couple of weeks and I've lost over half a stone already.

Things that have helped -

I've set myself a basic breakfast of shredded wheat with fruit (usually strawberries but also blueberries, kiwi or apple) every day. No getting out of bed and having to think.

I don't go out without taking a snack. Rice cakes with a smear of Philly, a satsuma, some carrot sticks all in a tub. No more Kitkats!

Big pots of low cal soup - cook them when I have time and then have as much as I like for meals. Spicy tomato and lentil is my current favourite.

Bread, especially white, makes me feel sluggish and unmotivated. So I'm now buying the mini wholemeal loaves and making sure I limit myself to two slices a day max (easier if you have a bread-free breakfast). Pitta seems ok provided I stick to wholemeal and only have one. This has made the biggest difference to my energy levels out of everything. Bread is evil.

Mix good with bad. I love sausages. So I have a couple but serve them with a huge portion of roast veg - red onion, sweet potato, peppers, potato wedges, carrot etc. With a splodge of ketchup I'm in heaven.

Get sleep! Tired = hungry. Awake = time to eat.

Shred - it's only 20 minutes and makes you feel virtuous and worthy. Plus you can log it on FoodFocus and eat more!

I've dieted loads in my lifetime - I've never been slim - but 2 weeks in to this I feel better than ever, the weight's coming off easily and I have loads of energy. I really feel that it's sustainable, and it's so good to be able to pull clothes out of the wardrobe and do up the buttons. I can see myself actually sticking this out, having finally found a combination which means I feel good and I'm not relying on a short-term fix.

I don't know if any of that helps - different things work for different people - but it sounds like you've made a truly great start already and I'm sure you'll be successful :)

Thanks GreenTeapot, I appreciate the advice. Mmmmmm....sausages.....! :) My big , BIG downfall is F*ing CHEESE!!!! There is NO healthy alternative to delicious stilton or brie..... Aaagh! I've cut down on so much more, but still let myself down with bloody cheese!
Well done on your weightloss by the way - I dont know how much I weigh... I don't dare find out. On the plus side, my knickers keep falling down inside my trousers at work.... got to be a positive fact, if annoying as hell!

I'm another SW fan. There is always something you can eat and their motto is 'if you are hungry you are not doing it right'

If you stuck to the red/green days you can have an 1oz of cheese a day for free. (it is omitted from the new orange days) OK 1oz doesn't sound alot, but it's surprising how far it does go.

If you went to a class, you would get a lot of support from your leader and fellow members.

Most meals (within reason) can be adapted to be SW friendly, so it fits in very well with family life.