Do you hide your dieting from certain people?

[erebus]

...cos I do! Mainly my mother. I see her 2 times a week, both for meals (one here, one there).

I have only been dieting for 17 days (post a holiday where the snaps revealed what I already knew to be true ), I have lost 10 lbs as of this morning but that's from a start of 13 stone so it's early days; however, experience has taught me not to mention it to my mother.

I have always been prone to being a bit overweight which has, over the decades, prompted her to make the odd 'aside' remark. She is now just nudging size 16 at 78 (but it's that 'older person thickening' rather than a big wobbly tummy and no bum you sometimes see!) so has never really struggled with her weight, but:

a) She has some funny ideas about dieting, like the 'eat three solid meals a day and never snack' which sounds good but doesn't specify WHAT those meals need to be and flies in the face of other, now-known research about hunger, GI, GL and insulin, for example, and

b) has smoked 40 a day since her 20s.... this is not to be seen in any way, shape or form to be contributing to her ability to not get fat, you understand, and you are dared to mention that the once she did stop smoking for 2 years in her 50s, she started again because of the weight gain.....

I have also not advertised the fact at work. There are a few of us 'older ladies' who are over-weight so we have a group moan and I duly join in the talk about 'being good' even though I don't think any foods are good or bad or that people are being 'bad' if they choose to eat a slice of cake, of which there is usually plenty!

I think that making your weight loss plan public can work for some people but not necessarily for me. I want to lose weight for me, not for others. And I hate that 'oh, you don't need to lose weight' thing! (at 5'6", 13 stone and a BMI of 30, yes I did!). Sure, I will graciously accept any compliment about my weight loss but I'd also brush it off rather than launch into 'my diet plan'!

What about you?

Yes I have learned in the main to keep my diet from people- as many 'friends' then see this as a green light to be 'helpful' and say things like "Should you be eating that?" and "Better hide the chocolate from AWT, she won't want any of that!" etc etc. Now I am low-carbing its loads easier to be honest as in a restaurant I just leave the potato/rice/whatever and have lots of vegetables and if I am cooking a meal for people just do the same- lots of different veg dishes so people aren't keeping track of whose having what.

No, prefer for it to be public, quite like the "shouldn you be eating that" to help me stick to it.

My mother told me I was seriously overweight and it was affecting my health - my BMI was 30 and DC3 was EBF and 3 months old.... she's overweight herself and although I know I shouldn't say anything to her I did. She is home economics teacher and wasn't convinced about low carbs as its not a balanced diet (although I wasn't doing ketosis diet was having lots of fat free dairy) etc but I said, well this is whats working for me.

No need to launch into diet plan - lots of people have asked me, and my stock response is "eat less, move more", only if they push further will I say more.

I was surprised when my mother noticed and commented on what I didn't eat out of the fabulous Chinese take away DH brought home last night (thanks, DH...- though, a different thread!- I am not expecting my family to diet, I am not expecting them to not have the odd bag of crisps etc just because I have to exercise restraint around those foods!). I just brushed it off, and today I have been over hers painting ceilings and made sure to make my exit before lunchtime!

Apart from anything else, she tells her friends (fine) who tell their DDs (some of whom are my friends, albeit not terribly close, and that isn't fine. I hear enough intimate detail about their gynaecological problems so I know my diet would be fair game!)

DH!!! I've been going to SW since July last year and have lost 3.5 stone. He knows I'm watching what Im eating but has no idea that I go every week for w/i.
He thinks slimming clubs are for weak people - easy for him to say at 6ft1 and naturally slim)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Not gonna bother telling him now...

erebus why do you care if your distant friends know you are on a diet?

From what you have said though your mother is a mixed - as you have said you want to do something about your weight and she sounds the opposite of supportive. Personally I think you are being a bit polite, if my mum commented I probably say something like, "yes, I am on a diet, yes I want to loose 3 stone, and yes at the moment I am exercising self control, please can you be supportive".

Some friends are less distant that others! I guess I feel that in the same way as I want how I eat to be just another part of my life, I kind of don't want to make a big public deal which would sort of thrust what I eat into the public arena, as it were. This is my battle. You know how judgy people are: I may be on a diet (in fact, am!) where I judge whether, when out to dinner, a small piece of dessert is 'worth' how I'll feel about myself. It may be that I decide that the pleasure I will get from that piece is worth it, thus will eat it, but I don't want a friend doing the old 'Ooh, should you be eating that?'

As for my mother, she will smile smugly should my diet fail. She will also be the fount of stupid, untested, unscientific diet advice that evidently works for her (on her 40 a day 'diet'...!).

I am the opposite. I like it that my work collegues and friends knew I shouldn't be eating something, helped me to stay strong. And as for my mother, wanted to loose weight to show her that I can, whereas she was out of order to say what she said esp as she's overweight herself.

I am with forever.. I made it very well known that I was dieting, at work, that means that I am less likely to pig out on cakes and biscuits because I think people will think I am weak willed.

I dont advertise the fact at home, as my kids are small, so I say that I am trying to eat healthily. Have discussions with my WW leader, because she says I should weigh everything, and I refuse to be seen weighing breakfast cereal by my 4 year old dd.

wizzler I do weigh everything but don't think my children know what I am doing as I do it with back to them, or sometimes even in advance and put in container for the morning, esp if having say frozen berries that are best if defrosted overnight in fridge, might also weigh out cereal.

I have told my children aged 5 and 7 that I have been on a diet as I need to eat more healthily because I put on too much weight when pregnant with the baby - too obvious to them that I am on diet, not because of weighing though - they see me not eating crisps, chocolate, ice cream, dessert. Even now they question when I have some!

I have said to them that junk food - chocolate, ice cream, biscuits, sweets, crisps, cakes, sugar etc can make us fat especially if we eat too much, and that our bodies don't need it to be healthy. But some is fine for children as it tastes nice, just as long as it isn't too much.

I do agree though that I don't want them to think that it might be a good idea to restrict normal healthy food.