ok, I am a rational, (fairly!) inteliigent person - why can I not lose weight?

[horseymum]

I can't seem to crack this. I am fairly together in most other areas of my life. enjoy my family, starting back to work, can keep the house afloat (just about!) Why can I not lose weight? I see really overweight people and think why can't they get a grip on it, but yet i can't either. I am only around 1 stone overweight but it is enough to get me down. I just constantly snack and don't even seem to notice the food I eat. I am fairly sporty and run a couple of times a week - I think without that i would be even worse. Any one get any tips?

if snacking is your downfall can you try and substitute the type of snack you have for something less calorific? I assume because you have a family not buying the snacks is out of the question? If I didn't buy snacks my extremely slim daughter would go into a meltdown so it's not an option for me either.

is there any pattern to when you snack? A couple of things that have worked for me, if I find myself reaching for a snack I hold back and think "I'll have it in 5 minutes, then quite often I'm busy doing something else can forget about it. Another thing which isn't related to snacks is portion control. Cut back on your meal portions,use a side plate rather than a dinner plate.

Are you actually overweight? People's 'natural' weight differs - any chance you're not really overweight but just a 'natural' size 10 (instead of a 6) or 14 (instead of a 10)

Peoples expectations of slimness differes quite a lot from their natural body type sometimes.

thanks for those, I need some kind of giant voice which boomks out when I reach for a snack. I actually am overweight as am 5'4" and well over 10 stone. i am happiest being at about 9'6 ish although my ideal weight for my frame is nearer nine stone, that is not going to happen. It doesn't seem like loads compared to what some are facing, but it is hard for me.

try recording what you're eating (posho notebook if you're a Luddite) or www.foodfocus.co.uk if you're not.

I put your weight (guessed at 10 stone 5lbs) and height into the nhs bmi calculator here

and it came back with: you are a healthy weight. It may be your natural, healthy weight - that doesn't mean you're not 'happier' thinner but you're clearly doing something right to not be overweight

Hi Horsey, Laurie talks sense, but although you may be healthy weight, if you don't feel comfortable at it then you need to address it.

You already say you snack too much and you could probably exercise more than a couple of times a week. Could you step it up to 4 and even better incorporate some resistance training?

Going back to what Laurie said about recording things, take a look at myfitnesspal or livestrong. You can use them to log food and exercise each day (but make sure you get portion sizes accurate). It really does focus your mind when you know you are going to have to record those three chocolate biscuits at over 200 cals which totally wipe out the (weight loss) benefit of 20 minutes running . I read somewhere that people who log their food intake are much more successful with weight loss than those who don't and it definitely works for me.

I am also 5 foot 4. I know what you mean about being over 10 stone and feeling overweight - I would too. I am now 9 stone and feel about right (was 12 stone 5 after 3rd pregnancy, DS2 now 1 year old so have just lost over 3 stone).

Some ideas:

a) log all food at my fitness pal
b) try Paul Mckenna etc and focus on only eating if you are actually hungry
c) snack on carrots, cherry tomatoes and cucumber and if desperate diet coke
d) promise yourself a treat (new clothes?) if you get to target
e) cut out white carbs

Hi forever! Glad you feel you have found the right weight at last - well done for getting there, bet you look fab!

hello horsey,

I can certainly empathise - weight seems to be one thing I really can't master!! Only a stone or so overweight myself but I hate pics and don't feel good in my clothes.

But with a few deep breaths and a promise to myself I have signed up to myfitnesspal ... hoping this will help with snacks and portion size.

best of luck ...

Diets don't work long term, full stop (otherwise there would be one diet that everyone does called "The Diet"). You need to figure out why you're eating, what your triggers are, and change or replace them. Not easy but you can't change your eating habits if you don't deal with what's causing them. Willpower isn't enough.

sleepwhenidie - well, I still think my thighs are a bit big, but I fit size 10 clothes in all shops, and I am very toned. I know that although I could loose more weight I wouldn't be able to maintain it. Plus everyone around me is telling me I look just right.

lollypolly diets do work in that yes they enable you to loose weight, and willpower certainly helps at the start. But eventually I agree you need a change of mindset because if you go back to old WOE the weight goes back on. I have done combination of all the things I suggested above, but only time will tell if I can maintain. The most useful for me is asking myself if I am hungry whenever I think of eating something.

Hi Horsey. I suspect I am in the same situation as you. I would like to lose about 1 stone, but my willpower is zero. I have a wedding to go to in early June and I don't want to feel a total frump.

My plan is to start on Friday (I will go shopping on Thursday). I am going to buy some healthy snack options because I know my downfall is snacking at work. I hope that by having some better snack options readily to hand at my desk, I will not be so tempted by the Coke, crisps, carrot cake etc that is so easy to buy at my office.

I am also going to increase the amount of protein in my meals in the hope I will feel less like snacking.

sounds great forever, you'll probably find if you keep pushing yourself on the fitness front you will reduce your body fat % and get even more toned and a bit smaller without needing to lose any more weight anyway. Enjoy all the lovely summer clothes !

Sleepwhenidie yes thats the plan, to maintain weight but to increase muscles and decrease body fat. Have just bought 12kg kettlebell as really don't want more muscles on legs, want on arms and shoulders instead! And am doing lots of abs exercises.

Per scales its now 24%, think I could get it a bit lower, maybe 22%.

running for me work is easy - no need to spend money on food if I'm not hungry! I don't snack at work other than can of diet coke mid morning. If I am starving I make myself a latte with skimmed milk (there is a fridge full of food and a microwave). Also there is free fruit so sometimes allow myself one apple or pear.

For me, the eye opening eureka moment was a Paul McKenna rule - "eating consistently when not hungry = weight gain and being fat". Whenever I think I might eat something I look down at my newly slim body, ask myself, am I hungry? If not I think, do I want to eat food my body doesn't need and will store as fat.

thank you all, glad I am not alone. steps I am going to take
log food
try to stop before i eat something
set my first target for 10 stone (6lbs to go!)
did not snack at work today but then feeling nearly faint by tea time (sugar withdrawal methinks!) need healthy snacks in house too

horseymum beware of no snacking at all, it often leads to extreme hunger and then a binge/highly calorific snack! I think part of the trick is not letting yourself get to the stage when you are feeling starving hungry, at that point once you finally start eating you lose a sense of when to stop! I also don't believe that it is a good thing for your body....by which I agree with lollypolly's valid point about "diets" which involve starvation rather than slightly reducing your food intake or increasing your activity level so that you are burning just a small amount more calories than you use, not drastically reducing it to a level that shocks your body into starvation mode.

Great snacks to keep handy:
-raw nuts (no more than about 10-12 a day)
-raw veg crudites
-lean chicken/some tuna or a boiled egg
-half a small avocado
-small banana
-miso soup - only approx 30 cals & apparently also a v good mood enhancer

also - sorry, I'll shut up in a minute , psychologically, trying to ignore genuine hunger pangs and not snacking will make you feel like you are depriving yourself (which of course you are ).

By having healthy snacks regularly, not letting yourself get too hungry, losing weight becomes much easier as it feels healthy and like you are being good to your body and not like suffering too much! It also becomes a much better long term way of eating so although it may take a week to lose just a 1lb rather than 2lbs, you should be able to sustain the changes for longer, get to a target weight and, rather than "fall of the wagon" and start grabbing chocolate/cakes at every chance, you have established healthier habits.