Why I am so out of control with food? Please help!!

[sillytart]

I think it's about time I actually worked out why I am overweight. I used to think it was just because I am a greedy lazy cow loved food but I do think that this is not the only reason. What is the best way of doing this? Has anyone managed to do this? I can give more info if needed

My weight has been up & down for years

I've not tried to do this myself but perhaps keep a food / mood diary. Record what you eat and how you are feeling at the time. Then look at the moods you are writing down when you eat chocolate, chips, etc.

Also listen to what the voice inside your head says... do you wake up saying 'ok healthy day, let's have good breakfast' and then give into biscuits at 11. And if you do, do you have one or four? What is your inner voice saying when you eat those biscuits?

Are you generally happy with your life - family, friends, work, day to day life, plans for the future? Some people are happy with where they are in life and although they know they would look better if they weighed less, it isn't a priority for them. Are you unhealthily overweight?

Keep a diary - I use to think that I over ate when I was down/sad. but actually when I kept track I realised that I over ate with lots of different emotions. So if I am nervous I eat etc. I did realise that I can only blame my emotions so much. At the end of the day I make the choice to put food in my mouth.

Disclaimer: am still very overweight so I haven't solved the problem.

I also discreetly studied some thinner collegues so I could see what foods they ate and portion sizes. Trying to see what is normal really. I am amazed by one lady who eats processed junk only but is thin. Why - because over a day her calorie intake is okay so she stays thin. And she only eats when she is hungry and stops as soon as she is full.

I have also worked my way through my libray's self help shelf. No major awakening but some helpful ideas have stuck with me.

I am like you. I think I use food to try and make myself feel better. It's really hard. :(

However, with the help of a thread on here I am trying to control myself. I have to face it as any other addiction, and take it seriously. I think of alcoholics and how they have to resist the bottle: I have to resist eating shit and too much of it. The thing is, if I do break my diet, even one piece of chocolate will make me fall off the wagon and I'll eat everything in sight.

Saying that, I am now not officially overweight for the first time since my wedding seven years ago. I just have to take it one day at a time.

I am about 5st overweight & this is the biggest I have been for awhile. I lost 2st 4 years ago before I got pregnant with dc2 & most I have lost since then is 7pounds which I have put back on. I was in a good place with myself when I lost that 2st as I had been having counselling (not food related) & I thought I had worked through my issues but maybe now I am thinking that there must be another reason to this.
I am not happy with my life at the moment - I don't know why though as have great dh & great dc's & am lucky with lots of things, but I do feel a little lost with myself iyswim?

That sounds amazing Constance. Well done on your hard work. I am sadly at the other end of your statement ie. the heaviest I've ever been since my wedding day (and that's including four pregnancies). :-(

contance could you link thread which has helped you?

whyme I am also heavier now than I was full term with both my pregnancies

It is good, yes, but I really do struggle. I sniff the kids' chocolates before giving it to them and I think about food, and weight, constantly. I love baking but I can't, not even for others, because I know I'll eat it. This obsession means that any diet cannot last (though, obviously, my fingers are crossed for this one.) I am still a size 16 in a family of waifs.

I have also faced up to my vanity. I don't like it but I want to look thin. I should want it for health reasons but I don't. I want to look nice.

One other thing... The start of this healthy eating kick of mine came with the decision that I was going to start making music. I have resisted it for years, thinking I'm not good enough. It may be a coincidence, but perhaps I'm finding it easier not to overeat because I've faced up to something I have been in denial about for ages...? (Warning: May be psychobabbling!)

here s the thread.

It is low carb ( I have cut out bread, potatoes, pasta etc) but it's basically everyone doing their own thing and supporting one another. Lots of the women on there are doing Atkins, with lots of cheese and egg, but I'm mainly eating veg, fruit and meat. I would have given up without that thread... Just had almost a fortnight where no rubbish passed my lips and I didn't lose a single pound... But they make me feel like I can do it. Am amazed at the difference being part of a group makes (am too self-concious to go to Weight Watchers.)

whyme sorry I missed your first post (silly iPhone!)
you are absolutly right about you can only blame emotions so much. I sometimes find myself stuffing food in my mouth when stressed etc. Without realising what I am doing/how much I am eating but there are also plenty of other times when i choose to eat another piece of chocolate because I like the taste.

I overeat and have tons of weight to lose (I dream of being a size 16)

I have never been able to pin my eating to anything in particular, it's not just boredom, emotional, etc. I have been lurking on the thread mentioned by Constance and have also been cutting down the carbs and I am noticeably less hungry than I was. It's not effortless but I have lost about 10lb in 4 or 5 weeks so it's a start.

A friend of mine did Lighter Life and although she hated the diet she said the CBT type stuff they did to support it was great. I think the basic emotional eating stuff is too simplistic, it is for me anyway

Wow AimingForSerenity, that's in impressive weight loss!

I feel the same as you about the emotional eating stuff. I fear it would take many hours with a therapist to start getting me to understand why I use food as a crutch.

I always worry that if I do lose the weight and then haven't figured out why I eat the things/way I do then it will all go back on (and more!) as this has happeneded in the past and then I just sort of give up before I have even get started. The thought of not being able to have chocolate or cakes again because I lose control of myself at one bite is also awful.
I have been overweight for 14/15 years and I am very worried that my children will pick up on my bad habits and end up just like me at there age .

I know that one of the things putting me off dieting again now even though I know I need to is that I will forever have to restrict myself. I do eat because of my emotions but I also eat because I like the taste of lots of different foods - everything from chocolate cake to ham sandwiches! Right now I can't face that struggle.

And like Constance says it would take many therapy hours to get a start on the whole thing and no guarantee that a deeper level of understanding would really help me eat less.

And I am terrified that my dc's will pick up on my eating habits because I know I got a lot of mine from my mother.