why do I always sabbotage myself?? I bloody hate myself right now

[controlpantsandgladrags]

I'm 30 and fat. I've always been fat. Right now I'm the fattest I've ever been. I've started healthy eating plan after healthy eating plan; I lose a stone and then get lax and start putting it back on again.

I put 2 pounds back on last week, and today I have eaten about 8 biscuits and a cake. WHY do I do this when I want to lose weight so badly?

I've done slimming world in the past and have been doing Paul McKenna recently. I don't go in for crash dieting or the latest weight loss fads, I just try to eat healthily.

Can anyone help me get back on track? I have at least another 3 stone to go and I'm so unhappy.

I feel your pain. Bought a packet of Foxes Golden Crunch Creams at the weekend "as a treat for the kids" and guess who ate them!
I'm sick of going to bed mad at myself because I ate really well all day and then stuffed myself on the sofa at the end of the day.

I think it's all about breaking the cycle and getting some control back. Have you tried Weightwatchers? I have a friend who has lost 4 stone so far but she goes to the meetings and that seems to really work for her.

If you already think you eat healthily you might need to keep a food diary and actually write down everything you eat. It might surprise you. Portion sizes are another bugger, the first thing that shocked me about WeightWatchers was the size of the recommended portions compared to what I had been serving myself!!

Don't get mad, take a deep breath and take it day by day.

Thanks boozilla. I know I can eat healthily because I can successfully lose a stone. I didn't eat healthily last week and put 2 pounds on (no surprise there!!)

I've been in this cycle since my early teens. I'm begining to think there's no hope.

So angry with myself.

How about exercise as well? I've just started running and low carbing. See results straightaway and less inclined to over eat. Also, less hungry when I low carb.

Couch to 5 k?? Do try it.

Hey controlpants - felt very much the same up until a couple of months ago. Am 32 and 6 stone overweight but finally decided I was going to do something about it. Joined weight watchers and have lost just over a stone so far. Enjoying WW as you can eat what you want as long as it's pointed and the routine of being weighed every week makes me stay on track.

If you have a bad day, write it off and move onto the next day, everyone has bad days, it's how you deal with them. If you want to lose the weight you will. If you can try and make sure there are no biscuits in the house and keep on track. If you're interested in WW they ar doing free registration at the moment, or come annd have a look at the WW thread, they are all a very nice and supportive bunch over there!

I badly need to do some exercise ILove. I can always find a million excuses not to though! I have a 1yo and 2yo during the day and I'm so knackered by the time DH gets in at 7ish that I just can't motivate myself. I need a darn good kick up the backside. Or a personal trainer when I win the lottery

Thanks sparkle. I've never tried weight watchers before.....I think the thought of having to weigh everything puts me off. What I liked about SW was that weighing was limited so it took the faff out of it IYSWIM.....there were also no restrictions on quantities of lots of food. I rediculously tend to get panicky if I can't eat when I want to. I'll definitely have a look and see where my nearest class is though.

Controlpants - I am a self-saboteur too.

I have been doing Jillian Michaels' 30 day shred, and have,m unusually for me, managed to do the DVD 6 days in a row. Hoever, I have eaten like a frigging pig in the time.

I don't mind holding your hand if you hold mine!

Got to sort out tea for DD2 but will check back later.

When he gets in, go out on the runs.....I use nhs podcast, it's free and tells you when to run/walk..... Really energises me. I go in the venongs. I felt my fitness returning immediately.

x-posts sheik......funnily enough I have had a copy of the shred dvd sitting (still in it's wrapper!) on my book shelf since before xmas. Glad to hear it works better if you unwrap it

I feel so much better for havimg someone to "talk" to.

Really have to feed my child now

I'm on my first day back on WeightWatchers post about a month of "sod it" pigging out. I'm happy to do this with you if you like!!

You do have to weigh stuff initially until you get used to the portion sizes but it's not as daunting as it seems. There are loads of things (veggies mostly) that are no points at all so you don't have to weigh absolutely everything which I agree would be a pain in the arse!

Maybe time for a fresh start? Something new that you can go to meetings and get some support with. Is there anyone that can take the kids for an hour once or twice in the week for you to get out and take some time for yourself? Long walks with the DCs in the pram?

Trust me, you are not alone in this!

Thanks so much Boozilla. You're right, a fresh start is what I need.....and thanks for the offer of help too. Are you on the WW thread? I shall hunt it down and pop along tomorrow.

No one to take the kids during the day. DD1 does a couple of mornings a week at nursery though, so I could be doing walks with DD2.

You are your own worst enemy. I know this to be the truth.

Have sent you a PM, controlpants.

I think what sparkle said ear;ier about how you deal with setbacks is important/ I also think it's important to have a pig out every now and then, or to have what you want when you go out, fo example. But you should never think "Oh well, I have eaten loads of shite for lunch, so therefore I can eat the same for dinner".

open the wrapping on the shred - put it in the dvd player - it wizzes by & you feel marvellous afterwards (well for the 1st 2 days you ache like buggery) but you will lose inches & start to feel that exercising is for you.

Joby, it's true, isn't it?

Honestly, you will not be able to walk tomorrow, but if you Shred through the pain, you will find that you start to look more toned in 3 or 4 days. It's only 20 mins.

If I can do it, anyone can!

8 biscuits and a cake.

Can you also list all the healthy food you have eaten in the week - I bet it far exceeds 8 biccies and one cake..?

Don't focus on the bad notes focus on the whole tune and the 100 odd notes that where played correctly

Dont buy biscuits in a packet .Yes I know the kids will moan I find buying wrapped biscuits eg Taxi's or Blue Ribband that I hate AND have to unwrap make me pause before I set about the packet.

Think before you put anything in you mouth-

Am I hungry? I suspect you've forgotten what being hungry feels like

Can I wait 5 minutes before I eat this? try putting it back, then seeing how you feel

Would I eat this if my friends /family were in the room?

Am I standing up eating it with the fridge open or am I sitting and enjoying it as part of my meal?

I know what you mean about self loathing - I am going on holiday in 7 weeks and if I don't lose at least a stone I will have to buy an entire new wardrobe but I'm still here stuffing my face. I've started a new diet pretty much every single day since before Christmas and some days I don't make it past 8am! I am truly pathetic yet I want it so much. I don't know what to do.

Your mind has to be in the right place

Nothing will work until that happens

How you do that, I can't tell you. but only YOU can do it.

You've just got to decide, whats more important to you and your health, that half packet of jammy dodgers or keeping your nose out of the fridge.

Sounds like you need some straight talking from someone

Also change your tastes. Eating bad food does make you want more of the same. Try to avoid all sugar for a while (damn hard at the beginning of course!) but after a while a piece of bread even won't feel the same.

I recommend low carb. (or Dukan)