There's something a bit wrong with me.

[Scoffer]

Having a bit of a meltdown at the moment, although that seems to involve finally confronting my eating issues.

I've always been overweight and always loved food, from being a small child. As I got older that extended to drinking and, for a short period, smoking. I managed to stop smoking thank god.

I can't decide what the hell is wrong with me. I don't starve myself or purge. I don't pick all day. In fact, when at work I'm fine until I get home - normal breakfast, normal lunch. Once I get home I snack then have a HUGE dinner. Not crap, just massive amounts: two pork chops, not one, mountains of rice or pasta with butter. I eat until I physically cannot fit any more in.

Obviously this has led to huge weight gain :(

I do it with drink too. I never drink in the week, and sometimes I don't drink at the weekend, but I've decided to drink then I just go for it. It's like I have to finish things. On Saturday I drank two and a half bottles of wine, just because they were there . I stopped before I drank the last one and actually said to myself 'don't do this' and then I went ahead anyway. Obviously I felt like shit yesterday.

I know this sounds like I'm a complete alcoholic but I don't think I am, I think it's an extension of the eating thing. If I ever smoke now (once a year maybe) it's the same, one after another after another.

What on earth is wrong with me and what do I do now?

Bumping. Feeling miserable and desperate :(

What is your home set up (ie who do you live with, do you eat with them).

What happens if you fill yourself up with soup / salad at start of meal and cook less meat & rice?

Have you listened to Paul McKenna?

Hi forever, thanks for replying.

DH and two children. I do eat with them if we're all in at the same time. Sometimes when I eat with the kids at 5pm I'll then make another meal at 8pm though.

It depends where I am in the cycle. If I'm 'being good' then I don't cook as much and all is fine. As soon as I start losing weight I swing back the other way, I'll still eat less in front of family but will pig out on my own.

I haven't listened to Paul McKenna, is he the hypnotist?

Paul McKenna's book & CD might help - its not a big investment so probably worth a go.

link

I suggest you tell your DH that you need a lot of support as you want to stop overeating. Tell him you'll eat together (with him) each night, but it will be healthy food and you really need his help with this.

Make fat free vegetable soup (if you want to make it really filling add lentils, use those tins of value chopped tomatoes, onions, carrots, parnsips etc), and have one bowl at 5pm with the kids and a 2nd bowl at 8pm. Then eat a big lettuce/tomato/cucumber/pepper etc salad.

Then main course - limit the size of the portion for you (120g meat/fish, 40g uncooked pasta) and loads of steamed veggies (half the plate) and plate it all up for you and DH so that there is no leftovers left in the serving dishes.

If you want more after main course you can have more vegetable soup or salad.

If you are tempted to pig out your DH has to help you. Drink endless cups of herbal tea. And do the 30 day shred DVD at 9.30pm.

After the shred DVD around 10pm have a fruit yoghurt & apple.

BTW Paul McKenna deals with the "having to finish things" issue.

Scoffer, have you tried Weightwatchers or Slimming world? WW works for me,, gives me a set of rules to keep to.
It sounds as if you might benefit from one of those Hypontherapy sessions, i've no experience of them.. but someone on here will have.
Hope you get it sorted out as you sound so sad.

Thank you both of you.

forever Your tips are great and I am going to take them on board. I think I have some form of compulsive eating from the reading I've been doing, although it isn't as clear as some of the descriptions I've heard.

Someone posted on AIBU about how she lost masses of weight but had simply replaced one form of compulsive eating with another: whole heads of cauliflower instead of huge plates of pasta. I can relate to that. When I'm 'dieting' I eat loads and loads of raw veg. Not a bad thing in itself, but I feel like I have to address this side of the problem too.

Wizzler I have tried both and they work in the short term, then I break the diet and don't go back. Hypnotherapy sounds like something to look at, I just wish it wasn't so expensive! I did feel very low when I posted. I feel a bit brighter now and hope I can start afresh. I need to put some strategies in place though and am going to start a new thread to ask some questions.

Some great ideas here for you, OP, and I am sure more to come. I ditto Paul McKenna - even if you just read the book and listen to the free CD it comes with... It's not a diet - it just re-programmes how you think about food and eating.

On a separate note, how do you feel physically after you've binged? When I (used to) overeat my stomach would feel taut with pain! I hated that feeling and I started telling myself that feeling stuffed was more painful than it's (emotionally) worth. That certainly helped me stop before I over-stuffed myself.

Having a less-than-full stomach also gives me much more energy.

Take on board Forever's tips here. Also bear in mind that protein keeps you fuller for longer rather than carbs. And also read McKenna (the book is not about hypnotherapy as such so to start with you need just spent under a tenner for the book). Google I Can Make You Thin too for reviews.

Have you read Fat is a Feminist Issue? Parts of the book are a bit dated now, but it's very good at addressing the reasons why women compulsively eat.

I recommend a book called Overcoming Overeating by Jane Hirschmann and Carol someone. Hang on will google it ...

And in line with Susie Orbach and McKenna, read more about Intuitive Eating. Start here:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intuitive_eating

Then this:
www.intuitiveeating.org/content/10-principles

All about getting back in tune with your body's natural signals for hunger and fullness.

Ha ha!

Carol Munter - bit unfortunate!

Looks like they have a website now, too.

I agree that diets are not necessarily the answer if there is emotional stuff going on.

Susie Orbach's On Eating is a potted version of Fat is a Feminist Issue. Don't be put off by the title, it's about thinking about why we eat when we are not hungry.

It sounds like an emotional thing to me and I don't think diets will help you in the long run. You need to think about yhourpsychological need to do this - what makes you do it at some level and how does it make you feel?

I would consider some sort of talking therapy.

Thanks again everyone, need to get myself on Amazon!

On the emotional thing: I know, that's the conclusion I've come to. Can't figure it out though. It sounds a bit daft but I can't think of any reason that I like to eat other than the associations of eating and drinking. And that fact that it's all so tasty.

I associate food and drink with indulgence, with relaxation, holidays, socialising and all of that lovely stuff. This week I've tried hard to be more aware of when and why I'm eating. I noticed that I was fine until yesterday evening. Friday is the weekend, you get to relax, right? I like to relax by eating a whopping great meal and drinking wine. I didn't, I had a normal meal with the kids and no wine, which has meant that I didn't have the combination of after-drinking/the-hell-with-it munchies, so I've been okay today.

I was struggling earlier, so I've made an effort to make a dip/crudités for when the kids have gone to bed as I've already eaten with them (DH is on shifts). Thinking about it has helped a lot this week, although I'm still assiduously finishing everything on my plate!

BsshBossh I know exactly what you mean about that physically uncomfortable feeling. I hate it, just as I hate hangovers. It's one of the main reasons I want to control this urge. I feel much 'brighter' when I'm not so full.

I still have no idea why I do this

may have an addictive personality??